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Pedants' corner

Me and................

(106 Posts)
CountessFosco Fri 22-Aug-25 16:42:21

Virtually every day, we read or hear "me and my husband/sister/friend etc", even on the BBC [well, that's not really surprising is it], but shouldn't the grammatically correct way be "My husband/sister/friend and I"? Or does the phrase "my husband and I" have other connotations? smile

Mollygo Sat 30-Aug-25 22:54:13

RSALLAN2002

Cliff Richard sang "It belongs to you and I." Why?

Probably because I rhymes with by and you doesn’t.
The same sort of reason that he sings,
You’re gonna find me, out in the country because it flows better than You’re going to find me

petalpete Sat 30-Aug-25 22:02:42

I had to smile at this as it reminded me of my GD now 22 who was 5 at the time telling me a tale about and her sister, "Nanny me and Ella" "no Ella & I" said I, she preceded with this 3 x times and on the 4th correction she said "Nanny, it was me and Ella as you werent there", I couldn't argue with that.

Romola Sat 30-Aug-25 21:47:25

As I have written in previous pedants corner posts, I find this usage entirely acceptable in informal speech.
If you were being fussy, I suppose it's better form to put the other person first, i.e. him and me, we had a ridiculous amount of fun.
Actually, those are the ver words I use when talking about my late DH.

RSALLAN2002 Sat 30-Aug-25 20:29:43

Cliff Richard sang "It belongs to you and I." Why?

Siptree Sat 30-Aug-25 19:31:41

Me and ......Mrs Jones, is in my head now.smile

Lark21 Sat 30-Aug-25 18:54:35

‘My husband and I ‘ is correct but you might use ‘ My husband and me ‘ if you were saying - The gift was for my husband and me ‘ … ‘ The gift was for my husband and I’ wouldn’t be correct .

Crossstitchfan Sat 30-Aug-25 18:48:20

What about ‘less’ and ‘fewer’?
There was less rain today. There were fewer showers.

Cyclistmumgrandma Sat 30-Aug-25 18:33:08

The use of "Fred and I" when it should be "Fred and me" really annoys me. eg "Please come and see Fred and I". It should be "Please come and see Fred and me"! You wouldn't say "Please come and see I" would you?

Kats2 Sat 30-Aug-25 18:16:15

The thing thats drives me mad now, is when people say “I am bored OF this”….When it was always - “I am bored WITH this” when did it suddenly change…and why…

Artemis47 Sat 30-Aug-25 18:01:21

Speaking as a book editor of more than 50 years … it's really very simple. 'I' is the subject of the sentence (or nominative case in Latin). 'Me' is the object of the sentence (or accusative case in Latin). I think people have got so used to 'X and I' that it's become a sort of compound and they use it when they really should say 'me' – eg 'X gave it to my husband and I.' Take out 'my husband' and you are left with 'X gave it to I.' Which I don't think anyone would say.
My other current pet hate is 'I was sat' – what's wrong with 'I was sitting/I was seated'? But they're all at it, even the BBC! And of course there's what I call the 'breath comma', putting a comma where you might take a breath when speaking, but which splits a sentence in the wrong place…

Berd Sat 30-Aug-25 17:58:46

The ‘sat’ instead of ‘sitting’ usage drives me mad too - but only when I see it in writing for some reason! It was a real bugbear of the late, lamented Terry Wogan. He was always quick to bemoan the use of incorrect grammar, bless him.

Oldnproud Sat 30-Aug-25 17:57:26

I think there is little that is logical about the so-called 'rules' of so-called (deliberate repetition) 'correct' grammar.

As far as I can see, those rules were an attempt by a small minority of the population to standardise something that never had been and never would be standard. The speech of this minority almost certainly bore little or no resemblance to how the majority ever spoke, and by its very nature, speech always has and always will continue to change.

But I love language and all its idiosyncrasies anyway ☺

J52 Sat 30-Aug-25 17:24:08

Stepgranonabroomstick

J52

This drives me mad as well! I was taught that if the pronoun stand on its own in the sentence then that’s the one to use. Thus : My sister and I went for a walk
I went for a walk.
We wouldn’t say ‘Me went for a walk’

This is the correct answer. But if “me” is correct on its own, then it’s correct to say, for example “my husband and me”.

Yes, I didn’t expand the explanation.

Kathmaggie Sat 30-Aug-25 17:18:16

Oh and quite or very unique - there are no degrees of unique. Unique is unique!

Eskay10 Sat 30-Aug-25 17:11:18

My pet hate is when people use “the amount of people” when it should be “number of people”. If I hear a presenter say ‘the number’ at the right time I celebrate to myself that they are well educated. It’s written in the press and constantly spoken on tv.

Likewise, “if I had was” should be “if I were”.

I suppose it shouldn’t matter as long as we get the point across, but our language is slowly changing when it doesn’t need to.

Lynette55 Sat 30-Aug-25 17:11:08

I had English grammar drummed into me as a child. Therefore many of today’s “sloppy” grammar grates on me.
If “me” stands alone it’s correct. “My friend came to see me” but “my friend and me went” is wrong as you don’t say “me went”

Rocknroll5me Sat 30-Aug-25 17:03:55

Well thank goodness the late queen didn’t say me and my husband.
It really annoys me as it’s so ignorant I mean you don’t say ‘me went to the cinema’ so why would you say Jane and me went to the cinema?

CariadAgain Sat 30-Aug-25 16:51:29

Lesley60

I think the only phrase that drives me nuts is we are pregnant
For goodness sake it’s either we are expecting a baby or I am pregnant he can’t be

I feel irritated by people saying "x and me" and wish they'd use correct grammar.

But I'm guessing the reason for saying "We're pregnant" - when only one of them is (ie the woman) is as a way of saying "Yes - we did discuss whether to have children or no - and we both agreed to do so". Thus getting it in first in case anyone wonders whether the woman decided to get pregnant but didn't bother to get the mans agreement to it first. There's still a lot of women around that make the "pregnancy decision" on their own....

mabon2 Sat 30-Aug-25 16:19:11

"Different to" used by many journalists on the BBC is incorrect it is "different from" Just because somethings has become commonplace doesn't make it correct.

Stepgranonabroomstick Sat 30-Aug-25 15:59:45

J52

This drives me mad as well! I was taught that if the pronoun stand on its own in the sentence then that’s the one to use. Thus : My sister and I went for a walk
I went for a walk.
We wouldn’t say ‘Me went for a walk’

This is the correct answer. But if “me” is correct on its own, then it’s correct to say, for example “my husband and me”.

springishere Sat 30-Aug-25 15:39:20

I love pedants' corner. It proves that there are still people out there who care about correct grammar. Most of it is quite logical. You wouldn't say "Give it to I" so why "Give it to John and I"? "Different to" is illogical because you are moving away, so "Different from" and "Similar to". What has happened to the present participle? Nowadays people are always sat somewhere instead of sitting. I shout at the television all the time.

Lesley60 Sat 30-Aug-25 14:59:57

I think the only phrase that drives me nuts is we are pregnant
For goodness sake it’s either we are expecting a baby or I am pregnant he can’t be

kircubbin2000 Sat 30-Aug-25 14:52:04

Or were and where.

Camry1952 Sat 30-Aug-25 14:47:33

Another misuse that bothers me is not knowing the difference between there and their.

Kathmaggie Sat 30-Aug-25 14:18:01

This is so common place now. Me and Fred - Fred and me! I also dislike “can I get”instead of “can I have”. Usually when asking for something in a restaurant. Can I get suggests fetching something yourself.