I really need to get out more!

DH has a thing about always sharpening knives each time he uses them. Skye can be the other end of the garden but it only takes a couple of swishes of blade on the steel and she's rubbing around his legs in the kitchen.
When we call her in at night we have to stand back and let her in the door first or she will not come in.

My son taught our little dog to give kisses on his nose, which she gladly does for him. Whenever I ask she looks at me with disdain, even though I'm the one who does everything for her. He just winds her up!

I always talk to my two dogs and I think they do understand quite a lot. I know a lot might be associated with routine at a certain time, because when I say to them " I will just pop for a wee" their ears shoot up and they jump up because at 6.15pm about, it is time for walkies ha ha. They are so clever and in fact I am just about to say those exact words!!

"Move out of the way Lambkin", to a very large Labrador, had the gas man looking a bit confused.

Way back in the mists of time when Liberace played piano on Sunday afternoon television, my mum loved it but Dad hated it and would groan out his name.
Forever more our dalmation knew that ' going for a Liberace 'meant going for a walk.

I can shout until breakfast and Tara does not take a blind bit of notice. If I whistle, she knows that I mean business. I usually switch off the lights downstairs, switch on the stair light and she is bright enough to know I am going to bed. She is usually either under my car across the road or under a bush not that far away. I have to be careful no cars are coming because she runs across the road like an express train.

She does have a catflap but prefers to use the front door which is a nuisance when the housekeeper, cook, maid, footman et al are away.

I bet she does come back in under 10 minutes though!

phoenix I am not a lot better by saying " out for 10 minutes only, darling as it is almost bed time. Mummy will let you in." I also have to make sure that I am not overheard.

So glad it's not just me!

Although I did feel rather silly the other evening as I ushered Digby out with the words "you go out there for a moment while I sort the potty out" to find my neighbour and a guest standing on the path, just out of sight but within earshot.

My daughter and partner skyped last week, and were 'talking' to the dogs. They are missing the dogs, and in fact, missing winding the dogs up, so they said 'squirrels', at which both dogs raced to the door barking. Dogs are so tuned in to their people, well so far as getting things they want are concerned. Coming back if there is a squirrel within scent/sight, well that is something they can turn a deaf ear to.

Our Missy (cat) seems to understand any sentence beginning with 'would you like ......?' she immediately jumps down and runs to the cupboard where her 'stick' treats are kept and stand there with her tail quivering.

She understands, 'get down' and yes 'this way' also get both cats into the appropriate door.

Oscar our ginger and cream stump-tailed boy understands roll over, tummy tickle and food.

He follows DH up to bed, jumps on the bed and as soon as DH drops his trousers Oscar rolls over for a tummy tick. Very strange.

I have a favourite Welsumer hen. She follows me round the garden and when I shut them all up the other evening she was the last to go in. I made some (quite realistic) clucking noises and she popped her head back out again.

I'd love to know what I said!

I have come to the conclusion that my mutt knows about 7 words: "Bed, walkies, sit/lie down, treat, out, be quick "(in connection with "out") oh and "pussy cat. " A previous dog (similarly intellectually challenged endowed ) once heard DH shout upstairs to a DD "Do you want toast or bread and promptly took herself off to her - BED.

I caught myself one day asking my dog "Have you no sense of priorities?" which was very silly in the light of Katherine Whitehorn's observation that dogs have a thought for each paw – food, food, sex, and food.

However, I am extremely good at herding cats and all of mine have understood "This way" – and, mostly, they wander in the required direction.

Tara my cat understands the word "beddies" and frequently beats me to it. "No" is a word frequently used by me and that is interpreted correctly.

Our friend's wonderful Border Collie (who later came to live with us) had easily learned the word walkies and it didn't take him long to recognise it when we spelled it out. He eventually had to be taken for perambulations - and I think he was getting suspicious about that in the end.

My husband has long conversations with his favourite cat - mainly negotiating (unsuccessfully) for five cat free minutes to work on the computer.

Bless him! They do leave lovely memories.

I can understand having a "conversation" with a dog, Henry (my God puppy) was always up for a chat, but threatening to have a row with a cat

^^ spelling ggrrr!!

When Barney first came to us DGS5 bought him a gift bag from £land containg a green beer barrell which squeaked and he took it everywhere with him he was always dropping it and it would roll under the sofa's we would ask him "where's the beer" and he would show you where it had rolled and try and help you get it out.

My daughter's Jack Russell has a cuddly toy they called Gary Barlow. Whenever they said, 'Where's Gary Barlow?' he'd run off and find it and throw it around the room. They soon wished they'd called it something else as Gary Barlow was on the telly quite a lot over Christmas which meant they often had to grab the remote and turn the volume down ASAP.

They tried shortening it to GB but he soon caught on!