Millie has cancer.

Deeda, you made me laugh too, and you sunflower. Years ago we had a spaniel which turned in to an elderly spaniel, and we also had a very playful tabby cat, who liked noting better than to hide in a huge lavender bush and jump out at this poor dog and try to hang onto her ears!!!! After dog had sadly gone, cat just sat about the lavender bush, clearly it wasn't any fun any more. Millie does seem better this evening after a set back yesterday and a bad night. The op on Wednesday seemed to really knock her about, and this morning I was on the verge of ringing the duty vet, but she had a walk this pm and has eaten a good supper, and seems a lot better. Unfortunately she has a heart murmur as well as one blind eye (cataract)- oh dear poor Millie, old age isn't being very kind to her, BUT, I am sorting out what I need to ask the vet, and also info on pain relief for her. We too have decided to have the vet here when the time comes, we've always taken them 'in' before, but this time OH and I feel that we just can't face the drive and the surgery and so on, also it will be much less stressful for Millie which is our main concern. We are trying to stay as upbeat as we can, although I couldn't help a few tears this morning when she looked so ill. Thank you again everyone, your support is invaluable.

niggly I know what you are going through, we went through it with our golden cocker, she developed a growth on one of her hind legs and lost the leg, she centralised her remaining leg and still galloped around for a few years, but over time another growth appeared and I got to the day when I knew that she had had enough and it broke my heart to make that journey, but you will know. I have filled up thinking of her still now. I read on the thread out phoenix someone has said rather a day early than day late... hope I have got that right.

nellie I hope Millie enjoys some more days in the sun.

You are all SO kind, it is very much appreciated. Millie is much better today, I've sorted out suitable food for her, and am making a list of concerns to talk to the vet about so at least I know what to expect and how to deal with each situation as it arises. I want to stay as upbeat as possible as I'm sure she knows and feels anxious if I am, (I know that sounds silly, but I just get the feeling that she does!) so, as my mother used to say, 'best foot forward!!)

I seem to have got onto two threads here. I think my worry over Millie has addled my brain! Sadly the news is VERY bad about Millie. She has osteosarcoma in her jaw, and the vet has told us that she only has a month at most as it is so aggressive. You can imagine how shattered we both are. I can't write anymore.

niggly sending you {{{hugs}}}

Thanks so much glassortwo and everyone on here for your kind sympathy. We are going to the vet this morning for some painkillers for Millie, another visit on Monday, and after that, it's into the uknown. One thing, our vet is absolutely fab, so kind and understanding. She will come here when the time comes so at least we don't have to face a surgery full of people, and no doubt make a fool of myself! so at least that is something!

Our vet gives people the option of coming to the house or the last appointment of the day when the surgery is empty and no one has to walk out to a busy waiting room. We chose the latter as I personally didn't want the experience at home.

We are all different nellie but I didn't want that memory at home ((hugs))

The vet that gave me the [wrong] second opinion with my dog refused to come to the house to put her to sleep; I had already made arrangements with the first vet but didn't dare ask him as I'd gone to another practice for the second opinion. I would have felt much much better if my dear dog had been put down at home. I'm so glad you've got a caring vet, nellie; it does help. You must be brave for Millie; we're all holding your hand.

Agus, I can totally understand how you feel, and we ARE all different. Up to now we have always taken our 'pets' to the vet for the final goodbye, but this time we feel we want to keep Millie at home incurring less stress for her and hopefully us. The journey there is about 15 miles along a busy by pass, traffic lights and god knows what, and I think we both feel we can't face the journey there and back. Also the vet's practice is connected to a pet shop, so it's a bit open air (if you see what I mean!)
Thank you again Tegan - It really helps to know that there are people who care. We had the same sort of problem with a pony as you did with your dog. We got a second opinion, who wanted one xray after another, and even though the poor thing was clearly at deaths door, wanted yet another xray before doing the deed and signing the insurance papers (we had a death policy!!) we went back to our first vet and apologised profusely for going elsewhere and she was wonderful and all was ok (well, it wasn't! but from a vet point of view it was!)

An update on Millie. Millie is now having trouble eating and I am having to mince her food. Today we took her to the vet where the she discovered an enlarged lymph gland in Millies neck - oh dear! After a long chat with the vet, OH and I have decided that the kindest thing to do for Millie is to have her put to sleep. She can't get better, and all that lies ahead for her is more pain and anguish. The vet is coming here tomorrow morning, I couldn't bear to leave her today, as she tends to panic if we aren't there, and I would never forgive myself if she was caused anxiety and stress. As you can imagine this is breaking our hearts, tears are falling as I write this, but I know that this is for the best, Millie can't get better and I can't prolong her life for selfish reasons and see her suffer.

Thinking of you, nellie and sending (hugs)

Hard though it is, you know that you are doing the right thing.

(((hugs))). You are doing the right thing

to Nellie and Millie. You are right not to prolong her death. I shall be thinking of you tomorrow morning.

So very sorry to hear about Millie today, nellie. You are doing the kindest and most compassionate thing you can for her.

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate you caring words at this difficult time.

Thinking of you Nellie. I've been there as have many of us. It's a terrible wrench to 'let go', but it's the right thing to do. x x

It would be a betrayal of her trust if you were not to do her this last service. I can feel tbe tears for you but remember Millie knows nothing of all this. She will go to sleep in the arms of the person she loves best. Many humans are denied even this final dignity and comfort. Be brave

ah nellie - our final responsibility and our final privilege.
If we didn't love them it wouldn't hurt so much
(((hugs))) for you. Sweet relief for Millie. Her Mum will look after her, as she always has

Oh Nellie my heart goes out to you and I am filling up reliving that day we experienced and for you and Millie tomorrow. It is also Nellie, the final loving gesture you can do, continuing all the love you felt for Millie*

I'll be thinking about you and remember, we are all here for you

That's for certain MrsM, Millie's Mum most certainly will look after her at the end, and you're right, it's the last kindness we can do for her, if only we didn't love her SO much, we have had her since she was 10 weeks, and she has given us SO much joy for 11 years, and I did hope to have her for another 18 months, but it's not to be. I think we have been so lucky to have had such a sweet natured dog, and for that I'm grateful. It is comforting to have such kind words from people who have been there and understand.

It is a horrid thing to have to do but unfortunately those of us who are pet lovers have to face it sometimes many times throughout our lives and it sure does not get any easier. Millie in her own way I am sure will thank you for it. Lots of TLC and a special meal tonight.

I am filling up as I write this.

11 is just that bit too young isn't it. At least her illness hasn't been prolonged and painful. Also, being a spaniel not being able to eat is probably the worst thing that can happen to them [boy do they love their food]. They are the nicest dogs in the world; even though I've switched to whippets I still melt whenever I see a cocker spaniel [especially a puppy]. Be brave. I'll think of you tomorrow. And remember that the sadness you feel now will ease with time; it won't go away but it won't always hurt as much as it does today. xx

Very sorry for you Nellie - I went through it recently myself. You know you are doing the last loving thing you can for her, so she won't have to suffer, so she's lucky to have an owner like you. xx

Saw this on FB, a bit sentimental, but the thought is comforting.

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said " it's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.

Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.