Does anyone understand?

I understand. It’s so painful when we lose a much loved animal. The grief is very real

So much loss so close together will hit you hard Tedber.

You sound like a very loving and compassionate person so you will feel all your losses deeply. As Bradfordlass said, it is Love and Grief that are causing you pain.

20+ years ago I lost my Ginger Boy, my best friend and then my mum in the space of 6 months, gutted me.

I no longer have the wound in my heart of their passing but I will always carry scar of the loss and wouldn't want it any other way.

One day at a time. Be as kind to yourself as you can and please don't feel bad/daft or any other rubbish when you cry or feel grumpy. You are hurting and respecting and caring for your feelings is the best thing you can do at this time. Grieving is hard, it hurts and there is no short cut but you will get there.

The love you gave will help carry you through. I'm glad you reached out and I hope you get other help if you feel you need it.

I do understand absolutely, I was almost more upset at losing my 18yrs old cat than I was when my mum died and I felt so guilty about it. I think it was probably because the cat was there everyday in every place whereas my mum lived a long distance away and we didn't get together on a regular basis until the last year or so when we made the 6/7 hr round trip every week to see her.

My very special dog was killed 7yrs ago and I miss him every day, still heartbroken.

I am so very sorry for your losses. Losing your parent and best friend so close together too. It sounds as though you had to be very stoic while they died beside you and then when your beloved cat died you’ve allowed yourself to grieve “out loud” because you didn’t have to be the strong brave kind person you were when your closest human relationships were ending in front of your eyes.
Don’t be too brave now, it is important to go through this process and equally important to talk about how you’re feeling. People who love you really do want to understand and be there for you. So let them!

I have just had to have my two 20 year old cats put to sleep within 3 weeks of each other. Such a loss. They have been part of the family for so long and have been such lovely companions. The house seems empty and I miss them so much

totally understand the greatest grief ive had was losing my dog last November, raw, gutwrenching, still coming to terms with it.I know dogs are known for their loyalty and love, but aren't cats too? the deeper the love the deeper the grief......

I am really very sorry for the loss of those you loved so much and NO it isn't silly to feel just as devasted by the loss of your lovely ginger lad. Anybody who has ever had a pet knows how much they weave their way into your heart. I still frequently think of my gorgeous girls who gave me all their love, cuddles and purrs for many years and, reading your post plus all the responses, has me crying like a baby again. I do now have another lovely moggy from Cats Protection but I'll never ever forget the ones that went before.
In time I hope you find yourself another beautiful feline member of the family, although you'll never forget (or replace) Duke. Meanwhile I send you ?, ? and more ?.

I was so upset when our cat died in 2014 I cried so much I gave myself gastritis! Still taking tablets for it. I cried far more for him than I had for my mother or father. Guilt I think, as we should have had him put to sleep earlier and he'd been in pain.

Totally understand how deveststing this can be ??

I really do understand . And i’m Sure no matter what the pet it must be the same. I lost my German Shepherd (Freddie) recently ( I know it’s not a cat) He died suddenly at home in front of my eyes and I can’t believe the utter grief I experienced. I know I must sound like i’m being dramatic, but I cried so much I could barely catch my breath! I’m embarrassed to say I cried more for him than I did for my parents! It was an overwhelming sadness for my parents but probably more of an acceptance, whereas Freddie felt like ‘my boy’ - not in a human sense, but my ‘companion’. I miss him terribly just like my parents, so I suppose animals are family members too and you’re going to grieve in the same way.

I lost my cat last summer and still miss her so much. The house feels so empty! We have started going away a lot recently so I decided it would be unfair to get a kitten - also it would probably outlive me and I would be worried about that. I decided the best thing to do was foster. I have jumped through hoops and am now registered with Battersea Dogs and Cats Home as a cat fosterer. Only just got it sorted so haven’t yet had one to look after but looking forward to it.
I feel for you.

Over the years we have loved and lost several cats and two dogs but none hit me as much as losing my darling cat Harry 8 years ago - he was 15 and my soulmate. The vet came to the house to put him to sleep and I managed to hold it together as he peacefully passed away on my knee but when they had left with him wrapped in a blanket I was totally distraught and curled up and howled. I felt so guilty as I hadn't done that for my father who had died the year before.

I think part of it is because our pets rely on us to care for them and give so much love in return that they inevitably cause us such grief when they go. It's totally understandable you feel so devastated at the loss of your lovely boy. Be kind to yourself and don't feel guilty.

I too total understand, as will most pet owners. Your pets truly become part of your family, especially I think when the children have gone. There is more time for you to interact with them, and the love goes both ways I am sure.

We have a horrible situation now where one of our cats, just 4 years old, has inoperable cancer. He does not seem in pain so he is having monthly steroid injections, which help a lot. But we know his days are numbered, so we're spoiling him and loving him. We will do the right thing when the vet says.

Sadly our pets generally go before us, and it's heart breaking. But for me, the pain is worth it, for the love I get from them.

You've had several recent losses, and on top of that, Duke went so suddenly, naturally you would be devastated. Look after yourself, try and do somethings you enjoy. In a while, it will be less raw. Best wishes.

Yes.... I understand. When many many years ago we had to have our beloved Dalmatian put to sleep the pain was unbearable...... I said I would never willingly put myself through that again so have never had another dog. I wish I could get over my fear cis I would really love another dog now we’ve both retired.

Miss my big softie Rottweiler Flashy....for months after she died, I swear I could hear the little bell she had on her collar .

When a poor bedraggled ginger cat landed on my doorstep, I tried to ignore it, however it could hardly walk so the children fed it and it kept coming back. Not sure if it had had an owner, but if it had, I would have reported them for cruelty!
Over the next 18 years he was a very important part of the family and literally came to rule the roost! We all loved him (more than most of our relatives).
Eventually we had to take the very sad decision to have him put to sleep as he was obviously in pain and suffering. Me and my adult son held each other and sobbed as he slipped away.
He was one of our family and is very sadly missed. They have a way of winding themselves round your heart.

I've lost 4 pets so far, a dog and 3 cats and I could still cry about my faithful dog who died in 1989 and my first cat who died in 2012. My present cat (and hopefully we will see each other out) is very loving so the answer is to get another kitten to love as soon as you feel able to.

Over the years I have cried for the loss of cats, dogs, tortoises, gerbils.......even a goldfish or two! I think that having to consent to them being “put to sleep” adds guilty feelings, and makes us feel even worse.

Thank you for starting for starting this thread Tedber. Our dear old dog died last week and his son 7 years ago. Our dear old cat is not well either and we have lost quite a few cats over the years. I am always devastated when they go.

I think our pets love us, but more importantly, they let us love them. We can poor love on them & they give it back.
Sometimes it is an easier relationship than with some humans. No constant negotiations.
I think the fostering route is a good idea now as we are a lot older.

Know how you are feeling Todber, had my lovely cat Jerry put to sleep two weeks ago, he was almost 20 years old. To say iam heartbroken is not enough. I feel I've lost my last connection to my Dad who passed away 5 years ago as they adored each other. The house feels empty, he's not waiting on the driveway to greet me when I have been shopping, or waiting patiently to be fed. I know he was only a cat but he was part of the family and is greatly missed. Losing a loved pet isn't like losing a parent,or anyone you loved but the sadness is genuine and it hurts.

One of the hardest things I have had to deal with was making the decision that my very lovely and beloved Springer spaniel had suffered enough and needed to go to the vets. That was almost 20 years ago and it still brings tears to my eyes. I have a beautiful Westie now and dread when that day arrives. She is ten and is slowing down now. I can't think about it. In the intervening 20 years I've lost Dad, Mum and older sister and still losing my beloved Nip was what upsets me most.

Loss pokes at past loss.

We had a beautiful black labrador called rosie come to us as a rescue dog when she was 3 yrs old,that first night she arrived she snuggled up to OHs arm and never really let him out of her sight until we lost her 14yrs later it was the worst time in our family as she was so loved by everyone even though we had other dogs at the time.
We still miss her now after all this time they always leave a specialplace in your heart when they have to leave us.

Oh no, I'm so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. I had to take our beloved 15 year old cat Thistle to the vet a few weeks ago and I came home with an empty pet carrier. It was all very sudden - he'd come in through the cat flap, meowing in a scary manner, unable to hold his head up or walk straight. He'd been fine in the morning. I phoned the vet & took him straight in but the vet scanned him & said he had a huge growth in his kidney which had probably spread to his brain. Sadly, putting him to sleep was the only real option. I was absolutely devastated, it was all so sudden and 6 weeks later, I still can't bear being without him. I miss him so very much, the house seems so empty and I keep imagining he's still here. We've always had at least one cat about the place so I'm no stranger to losing them but it never gets any easier. They are family members & it's perfectly natural to grieve as though they are people.