When to let my old cat go..?

It's sad that this decision has come at a time when you are still grieving for the loss of your dear father.
The thing you have to ask is whether your pet is in any pain. If she has abscesses she may have pain so it would probably be the kindest thing to have her euthanized. I know how hard it is to do this when she has given you so much love, I've had to make this decision several times as well.
My heart goes out to you. Be brave. Sending a hug.

I think these are signs your cat is now experiencing pain and therefore it would be kind for her to be put to sleep. The problem I found is sometimes vets don't want to do this while there is still a chance they can get money out of you for useless pain-prolonging treatments like they did with my poor old cat.

Having had to do this for one of my puss cats I would encourage you to do make this hard decision now. My friend delayed doing it for her beloved cat and it was pitiful to see her for the last few weeks of her life. She was very loved but at the end it is the cat we must think of irrespective of our own hurt.

I'm so very sorry you have two lots of grief to bear. You obviously love your cat and will do what is right for her in a way you know is best. I've had to make this decision about my cats over the years but I remember each one and treasure those memories. I will be thinking of you. xx

I feel so sad for you,as ive always been a cat owner/ lover,& my late mum always had cats too,when i was growing up-our own cat now is just 12,and hes still very mobile& healthy,thank God,but i couldnt contemplate having to make that descision for him,he's such a huge part of our family,my youngest son in particular (16) is very close to him, having grown up with him- and all my GC love him a lot,but still,i realised,reading your post,that if he was to become ill& was suffering,i would have to do whats best for my beloved furry baby- i found i was crying as i thought this,so i realise how hard it must be for you,but maybe best you can say goodbye to her with you with her than she 'slipped away' in pain alone feeling ill.- perhaps a slight consolement that you could think of her in heaven with your dad 'looking after' her.

It is truly awful, over the years we have had to make that final decision on a few occasions.
I do believe though that our pets know when they have had enough and look to us to end their suffering. As has been suggested having the vet come to your home makes it as stress free as it possibly could be for both pet and owner.
Be brave , you know in your heart what you need to do. xx

I've had to make the decision to put 3 lovely cats ( and one dog too) to sleep over the years when the time was right and that was when I knew that I was really keeping them alive for my benefit, not theirs. I still mourn them all and am sobbing now writing this note to you.

My daughters insisted I got another kitten and, reluctantly, ( because I couldn't bear the heartbreak of losing it again) I did. She has turned out to be so lovely. She is waiting for me every time I come home ( she knows the sound of my car), comes to my call or whistle when I want her to come inside at night, puts up with my daughter's dog when they visit and lies by my side every time I am in bed or sitting down somewhere. She even sits by me watching me do the gardening although never offers to help.

So, please do what you know is the right thing if your cat is now suffering and then offer your love to another unwanted kitten.

Such lovely messages on here, and they all agree that your little kitty needs you to make this last decision for her. I’m so sorry, I know how hard it is, we had to make the same decision only two months ago. It’s heartbreaking, I still look for him when I come home quite often, but we did what was best for him, and you must too. I think you know this really. It is hard, coming on top of losing your lovely Dad. Please cuddle her as she slips away, it will make it easier for her and for you.

Your cat has had a wonderful life with you and it is a true act of love to let her go peacefully to sleep. Let the vet come to your house as it will be far better for everyone.
I'm sorry for the loss of your father. I lost mine when I was 15 and still think of him every day. Take one day at a time. God bless.

I find it strange that everyone seems to think they have to euthanase their pets. My last dog, and my last two cats all died naturally and peacefully at home. This is the best.
As for my cats who, both siblings at 17, died a month of each other they stopped eating, which meant they didn't have to bother to defecate etc...they were on cushions at human height so everytime we passed them they put their paws out for a stroke and they purred and purred. Their deaths were so natural I didn't grieve.
You have to remember that euthanasia is not always gentle....on death row in the states they are not allowed to use the drugs we use on our cats and dogs - as too inhumane so I wish all this sentimentalising would cease. Nature gives and nature takes. Obviously, if any animal was in deep stress or pain one would seek relief. I asked my vet why I knew of no others whose pets had died naturally - he said it was the fashion.
I had taken my 15 year old, quite large dog to the vets on the day he died...for we knew he was on his last legs, he was very alert the vet said he would see him in two weeks. That evening he died quietly next to me on the sofa. He looked up took a deep breath and as I stroked his head with assurances, he peacefully died.
I have known so many friends and acquaintances who have taken the decision to end the lives of their animal companions in haste to be wracked with a combination of grief and guilt. I believe nature has ways of dealing with death that our chemicals are a poor second. I am a qualified senior animal technician specialising in medical research. I have seen a lot of death and a lot of culling sadly all in the name of medical research for humans..and animals at the medical research council - not for profit. I think we should give palliative care when possible. I feel so grateful my animal companions had peaceful natural deaths. Don't feel under pressure.

My heart goes out to you and can empathise with you. I had to make the decision to let my 17 year old cat go when she became so ill with liver failure. I think all the advice from other gransnetters it good. I think speaking to the vet and he’ll know if there’s any way of making her feel more comfortable if not then you know you don’t want her to suffer. Pets are part of our family but you’ll look back on fond memories. I’m sorry to read you’ve recently lost your father. Condolences

I understand how you feel. Our beloved cat had reached 20. She began to lose weight suddenly, yet developed a huge appetite. One day she was sleeping on the window sill and just fell off, which gave her quite a fright. I'd been out one day and said to my husband that I dreaded coming home because I didn't know how our cat would be. Husband took the decision that day to talk to the vet. They told him to bring the cat down straight away and she was put to sleep. It was heartbreaking but such a relief. We as humans have the power to end their suffering. That's quite difficult in itself.

I am reading this with a lump
In my throat . I have just adopted a new car from our local rescue centre . She has only been here 9 days and Zi love her to distraction. However is she was suffering I hope I would do what was the best for her and not think of myself. So sorry for you but don’t let her suffer

Cat not car damn predictive text

Saying goodbye to a pet is one of the hardest things you can do. But is is the last kindness you can give your cat. Please take her to your vet and ask his advice. The question I often ask my vet is “ if it was your cat/dog what would you do”. Take his advice and do what you know is right. It will bring many tears and sad days but you will have paid your cat the last kindness

We love our pets and do our best for them throughout their life, including giving them a painless death. We are always heartbroken when they pass (and I know it will be harder for you after recently losing your Dad, but you lost him and you are still walking around - however much emotional pain you're in - and you will survive losing your cat). Please don't let another moment pass - take your poor suffering cat straight to the vet and put an end to her pain. Then you will know that you've done the best for her. Don't live with the regret that you should have done it sooner (I know how that feels).

PS If she's withdrawing, then it's time. That's the only way they know how to tell us.

I finally took our old cat to the vet, while my husband waited outside. The lovely vet left me alone with him, and I reminisced with him as he slipped away. I felt so sure then that it had been right, that I only wished my husband had experienced it too.

I am so sorry about your cat. One of my cats luved to the age of 22 . She was active until about 3 months before she died and could stillbplay and jump about and hold her own with our dogs.
One day I could see she was failing . She began to sleep in odd places and was using her litter tray a lot. The vet gave her an injection which he thought might help. I didnt want her to be PTS , just wanted her to sleep away naturally. Then on New Years Eve her back legs gave way. I thought this is it and made her comfortable on a pillow in my bedroom. Then she began to either fit or had a heart attack. This went on for about 20 mins. By this time it was too late to get her to a vet. I was distraught that I had allowed her to suffer at the end for what what really was my own needs of not wanting to feel the pain and guilt of PTS. I still cant get over it. Take care and try to make the best choice for your cat. Sending loving thoughts. X

I went through this 3 years ago, so I do understand how very upsetting this is. Unfortunately it is unavoidable. Do the right thing and take her to the vet lovey x

Do it now for her sake...... if not yours. She’s owed dignity! Good luck with making your decision.

Let her go. Prolonging her suffering is not really helping you. Euthanasia is only traumatic for the owner, so put on a brace face for your cat, so that she is not afraid, and lay her to rest.

I lost two beloved 17 year old cats within six months of losing my beloved husband, one of them died naturally while the second one had to be put to sleep because of stomach cancer. I could not see him suffer any further.

It was heartbreaking and the house felt even more empty. However, I obtained two ten month siblings from rescue and they have been so healing.

camia is so right when she says it is the last kind thing no we can do for our pets. After all, we all like to think that we have a peaceful passing ourselves.

My old cat was similar, I took him for a check up and he had lots of ulcers in his mouth (no idea why) and had lost lots of weight before that (he was about 19). They said I should think about it. A day or so later he just gave up. I could tell he wanted to go. So I asked the vet to come out, my cat came and sat on my lap and had no fight in him at all. I think he knew it was time and, having been a feisty cat, he wanted to go. It was very gentle and peaceful, he fell asleep at home on my lap. That to me was the most important thing.
Give your cat the best few days, favourite foods etc then if you feel the same, book the vet. X

N better wisdom to impart, just wanted to send you support for what you seem to really know you should do. It's so appallingly sad and heartbreaking on top of your other massive loss. Tears cried can help mourn them both. Do adopt another cat; there are so many in desperate need of a loving home. It or they won't be a replacement, but a new addition to your life. Good luck and best wishes