Gransnet forums

Pets

Cat prefers my husband!

(46 Posts)
granny2one Sun 25-Aug-19 04:34:36

I’m the cat lover in our house and I do all the cat work but our new cat will only sit on DH’s knee! Our previous cat would only sit on mine. The new one, who is now almost 3 follows me about wherever I go but that’s it. No smooching!
I wonder what is going on here. I know I can’t change his mind but would like to know what the attraction is! Any ideas?

Sara65 Sun 25-Aug-19 07:26:59

Consider yourself lucky, our cat seems to positively dislike us, only pops in now and again for food, resists any physical contact, hardly ever in the same room. It’s a bit embarrassing when we have visitors, they probably think we ill treat him!

My husband tries to woo him with little treats, but he’s having none of it!

00mam00 Sun 25-Aug-19 08:09:18

My dd’s goldfish will only respond to sil, even though she also feeds them they ignore her looking into the tank.

polnan Sun 25-Aug-19 08:29:09

lol pets and people.... I guess we don`t credit our pets with a mind of their own..

Grannyflower Sun 25-Aug-19 08:34:13

Does DH sit down quietly for longer periods of time than you maybe so cat can nod off undisturbed?

sodapop Sun 25-Aug-19 08:37:59

Cats always seem to head for people who don't really like them, they seem to sense this quite quickly.

Craftycat Sun 25-Aug-19 08:39:32

That's cats for you. We have 4 & one of them is now 15 & has never been affectionate to us- she acts as though she is terrified of us. Her brother adored us. The only time she allowed us to fuss her was when she was unwell & had to be kept indoors. We shut her in conservatory & she was all over me e very time I went in to see her. Soon as she was better it was back to hating us.
Luckily the other 3 love us to pieces & won't leave us alone. One follows me round all day & sleeps on top of me every night. I think she is worried I'll do a moonlight flit.
You can't get a cat to do anything they don't want to.

Granny23 Sun 25-Aug-19 09:00:01

All of our cats have favoured DH although I was the one who did the feeding and grooming. However the night my Mother died, as soon as I came home, cat came over and settled in my lap, purring and licking my hand.

How do they know?

TerriBull Sun 25-Aug-19 09:02:00

I love cats, have had them in the past, unfortunately don't have one now, most of the family appear to be allergic to cats, annoying people that they are angry When we are around cats they always go to my husband, who doesn't feel the love for them that I do, and ignore me. I perceive it as some innate "awkward" characteristic cats have hard wired into them, which makes them all the more attractive and they know it sad

Esmerelda Sun 25-Aug-19 09:09:32

I've had four cats and the first three were extremely loving and desperate to get on my lap whenever I sat down, slept on the bed with me, etc. However No 4 is totally different ... friendly enough and purrs as soon as you look at her, but won't come near to sit on my lap and prefers to move to another room when I enter (although that has got better with time and now she might deign to stay and sleep as long as there is distance between us). There's just no accounting for cats! ??

Dee1012 Sun 25-Aug-19 09:21:07

My son has two cat's, siblings. One is incredibly affectionate and loving, the other I think is a little sociopath!!
She will occasionally allow you to stroke and groom her but the rest of the time will sit in her bed planning the demise of all.

jura2 Sun 25-Aug-19 09:23:03

Same with our dog - HE is the master's voice (she looks just like that dog on the old records) - that's fine and cute.

Sheilasue Sun 25-Aug-19 09:28:00

Our cat will only sit on our laps if we pick him up and put him on our laps. Then he doesn’t stay long, he likes to sit on the arm of the chair and give you a nuzzle. Bloodywell pinches your chair when you get up to go in the kitchen or loo.

Fennel Sun 25-Aug-19 09:37:06

We don't have a cat now, but we did when we lived in the country. She always preferred husband's lap to mine.
When we left the new owners took her on - she waselderly and very territorial and would have hated town living.
The new owners sends me photos and our Kat prefers the new man in the house - she seems contented.

JaneA Sun 25-Aug-19 09:40:56

granny2one - don't worry, my dog's the same!

SalsaQueen Sun 25-Aug-19 09:52:39

My cat is the same. I feed him, groom him, take him to the vet when needed, but he'll only sit on my husband's knee.

My boy does like me to pick him up and carry him about, so perhaps it's just that my husband's lap is bigger, with him having longer legs grin

My Mr Cooper

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sun 25-Aug-19 09:53:41

It's funny, isn't it? You can't help but feel a bit snubbed when they always go to someone else.

I expect there's some 'cat-logic' in it.

My present cat very rarely sits on my lap, he often sits beside me and accepts being stroked but that's it.

maryhoffman37 Sun 25-Aug-19 09:57:04

We have three Burmese and they are all super affectionate lap cats and prefer to be in the rooms we are in. But when I was a kid I had my own cat, which my older sister and I both adored. He tolerated us but only had eyes for my mother. I suppose she fed him most. We longed for him to love us but it can't be compelled.

jura2 Sun 25-Aug-19 09:57:11

SalsaQ : 'My cat is the same. I feed him, groom him, take him to the vet when needed,' ahahah no wonder he prefers him hey ;). And it was the same with our girls, daddy could do no wrong and was always the hero - no wonder since I was the one who nagged about homework and their bedrooms, told them off when required, held the rule book - daddy was far far too busy to do any of that ;)

Lyndylou Sun 25-Aug-19 10:42:15

Our present cat will only sit on laps when she has cold or wet feet. Once she has warmed her self up she wanders off back to her favourite spot, a soft throw on the back of the sofa.
She also quite likes sitting on the 2 seater sofa next to my OH but so does the dog. If he is already in place she walks up and down in front of him miaowing, he gets down thinking it is play time and she nips in his place, leaving him to whine at us to sort it for him. Sorry dog, neither of us will risk our fingers trying to move her. He falls for it every time!

Camelotclub Sun 25-Aug-19 10:53:55

My cat definitely favours my DH. He sits on his lap but then DH does have longer thighs! But will only sit there if put there. Me he usually ignores though I groom him (the cat, that is) and clean his eyes. What did I wrong?

Charleygirl5 Sun 25-Aug-19 11:00:40

My cat does what she wants when she wants. She goes out when I get up around 8 am or earlier and appears after 7 pm. She then goes upstairs to bed for a few hours kip. After I am settled in bed she will graciously come in for cuddles but the minute I switch off my light she is up and away.

She never sits on my lap for cuddles- but may lie on the arm of the chair but not for long.

4allweknow Sun 25-Aug-19 11:31:21

Only had 2 cats at different times both from kittens. Had no problem with either of them, they would go to any of us in the house who was sitting down. One did favour daughter a bit wanting to sleep on her bed, but forbidden. I am I think the only person who did not allow cats out at night. Plenty outside time during the day, always back at tea time out a little while again then back in for the night. Would never be able to have slept thinking about foxes, ill tempered cats, and accidents when no one about to see in the dark.

Magicmaggie Sun 25-Aug-19 11:52:13

I’ve always had female Siamese, and they tended to be very affectionate, and lap cats, but when the last one died we got
a lovely white moggie, who although is affectionate is not
a lap cat and I really miss that.
I too keep him in at night as our garden backs onto a hill
and we get foxes and badgers coming into the garden at night.

Bijou Sun 25-Aug-19 12:29:03

My brother in law hated cats. Whenever he came to stay they would disappear until after he left.