When the time comes, be brave and stay with your pet- they need you there

We lost our dog and cat within 6 weeks - we’d had both for over 14 years. The vet came to the house to put them to sleep, and I couldn’t possibly have imagined not being with them.

We had our first dog for nearly 15 years. When he was very ill I took him to the vet at morning surgery and he said it would be the kindest thing to put him to sleep and said he would do it immediately. However my husband was at work so I said he would never forgive me unless he was able to be with him so I made an arrangement to return that evening. Our two sons came to say goodbye to him before we took him and we took him to the vet together and were with him right until the end. It never crossed our minds to let him go through it without us being there to hold him. Our vet was lovely and compassionate throughout and sent us a card of condolence afterwards, I feel so sad for those of you who had negative experiences.

I was in tears when my beloved ginger boy was put to sleep and the vet asked me to stop as I was upsetting 'the cat'. They put him in his basket and took him away and brought him back for 'a last stroke' after he had passed. Looking back I was furious but too upset to say anything. Seven years ago and I still miss him…

I've only had to have one cat euthanised. It was so much kinder than I expected. I cuddled her in my arms while the vet shaved a small patch of fur on her leg, then injected her. I didn't realise that when her head dropped 2 seconds later that was it, she'd gone. So peaceful, purring to the end, secure in my love. Yes I cried buckets, but I'd not have let her go alone, I owed her more than that.

When my last 2 cats died (separately), I held them whilst the fatal injection was administered, stroking their faces and telling each one "It's alright, good girl". Then I wrapped them in a blanket, held them on the way home (husband drove), bathed each one, and made her all fresh before wrapping in a clean blanket before burying her. Some people told me they thought I was strange in doing all that, but to me, it was the last bit of care after years of looking after those cats.

My heart goes out to all pet owners who do this.
I'm a bit confused that if 30 posters here say this is what they would do without question, where are the 270 (90%) who have yet to come on to say they wouldn't? I don't believe the figure in the OP if we are talking about the UK.

We wouldn’t dream of not being there. It’s truly awful to have to say goodbye but the kindest thing and we have always found it a very peaceful way to go. I would say, please if you can save your tears for afterwards so as not to upset your pet. It’s terribly difficult to do, but please try not to let your pet see your devastation so as to avoid distressing them.

I have always stayed with each of my cats, sobbing all the time. Even the vet was crying one time.

Then I wrapped them in a blanket and brought them home to bury in the garden. I have 4 buried here. They will always be in my heart. Crying while I think of them, so won't share more details.

I don’t think this needs saying and in fact feel pretty insulted at the suggestion that anybody here is so callous.

But there you go, I prefer to think the best of people.

theworriedwell, this is so sad, I am so sorry. Same for crazyH and NfkD.

This is the reason we always get the vet to come home, to avoid the stress of the vet. Always sitting in their favourite place with them, and always asks the vet to give them first injection of 'Valium' type, then second final injection after 5 minutes when it has taken effect. We were very lucky our UK vet was a friend, and that our French (Slovenian) vet agrees to come to our house, always. It is a bit more expensive, but we never do private cremation urn, and all that- so about the same price.

MayBeMaw

I don’t think this needs saying and in fact feel pretty insulted at the suggestion that anybody here is so callous.

But there you go, I prefer to think the best of people.

WHO on earth, has said that?

The vet post in OP is just saying it is best to be with your pet to the end, and I followed to say that, if you can, and I am throughly aware this may not be possible, stay at home where the pet feels comfortable and not stressed.

WHO on earth, has said that ?

The thread title obviously.

Kali2

The vet post in OP is just saying it is best to be with your pet to the end, and I followed to say that, if you can, and I am throughly aware this may not be possible, stay at home where the pet feels comfortable and not stressed.

Well thank you for that advice. I’m sure those of us who have shared our lives for many decades with much loved cats, dogs, horses or gerbils would never have thought of it by ourselves.

I really don’t need to be told I should stay with my pet when they are being PTS.

I couldn’t bare the thought of not being there and holding any of our pets when we lose them. ?

We've always stayed with our dogs to the end, 2 died in our arms at home and 2 we had to drive to the surgery to be put to sleep. We held & stroked them, spoke softly to them to let them know we love them while they went to sleep and then brought them home to bury in the garden, so we still have them all close to us. I could not and would not ever leave a family member to die alone with strangers, they've given us so much love.

I really hope I can. I have PTSD around death and loss. I hope they go quietly in their sleep so I don't have to deal with it.

bear ??‍♀️

It seems that none of us on here need the advice given in this very upsetting thread. However if it’s made just one person who has passed by without comment do the right thing by their pet perhaps the sadness the thread has caused has been worthwhile.

NfkDumpling

I feel for you theworriedwell. I had a similar experience with our first dog. The vet couldn't find a vein (he was black skinned) and the dog was going frantic. I wasn't helping, so was sent to sit in the car while my husband stayed with him. The vet then stabbed the dog direct into his heart with the needle. This was nearly thirty years ago and I doubt it would happen nowadays and the man retired shortly afterwards after we'd put in a formal complaint. We did have another dog and two cats and all were pts at home with us when the time came by a sympathetic kind vet.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience but I just wanted to clarify that my experience was with a very kind young vet. She was as distressed as were.

Kali2

theworriedwell, this is so sad, I am so sorry. Same for crazyH and NfkD.

This is the reason we always get the vet to come home, to avoid the stress of the vet. Always sitting in their favourite place with them, and always asks the vet to give them first injection of 'Valium' type, then second final injection after 5 minutes when it has taken effect. We were very lucky our UK vet was a friend, and that our French (Slovenian) vet agrees to come to our house, always. It is a bit more expensive, but we never do private cremation urn, and all that- so about the same price.

Our dog loved the vet, never any stress going to the vets so we were happy for it to happen there.

I do want to make it clear we had a lovely vet, she was kind, it just didn't go well. Nothing is 100% and I think it is important to acknowledge it isn't always peaceful, it can be brutal and awful.

We had a card from the vet and all the nurses, they knew our dog well, as I said she was 19 and she'd had operations at the vets before.

When our cat was taken ill we went to the vets, the cat died in my son's arms on the journey. When we got to the vets we were immediately taken into an empty surgery, the vet left the consultation she was doing to come straight to us. We were left in the room with the cat and told to stay as long as we needed. We were made tea.

We weren't unlucky with our vet, we were just unlucky that the process isn't always as it is presented.

It’s always me who takes the dog to the vet my dh gets very emotional. Our Jack Russell was two years ago it broke my heart he was such a character and has not been replaced. We now have just one dog after twenty five years of always having two.

Our last poor old dog (we’ve never had another) was PTS on the first anniversary of 9/11. The news was full of nothing else, but all I could think, was that the vet was coming at 3 pm.

Poor old dog was lying on the front lawn in the sun - and wagged her poor old tail when she saw the vet arriving. ?
I felt awful, but maybe she knew the vet was going to make her ‘better’. TBH we’d left it too long anyway - it’s such a dreadfully hard, horrible decision to have to make.

Germanshepherdsmum

It seems that none of us on here need the advice given in this very upsetting thread. However if it’s made just one person who has passed by without comment do the right thing by their pet perhaps the sadness the thread has caused has been worthwhile.

Thank you Germanshepherdsmum - as said, I posted as I was so moved by this when posted by one of my DDs- whose dog we had to adopt due to circumstances, and she posted as she is so grateful we were there with him to the very end. It moved me, so I posted. Because as you say ...

It is heartwarming to see so many on GN saying how they stayed with their pet, and would not have ever considered leaving them to be pts. It's wonderful.

And of course it was not meant to tell people what to do... but to make people aware that even a very sick, very old dog, knows if you are not, and the vet in the OP sensed that, so often.

Sadly, there is a couple of people on GN who will attack me, and make really nasty comments, here on by pm. It's their problem, not mine, but it is such a shame.

Witzend, yes, it is such a difficult decision to make- and sometimes we just wait a little too long as we can't bear the coming pain. And we learn, and realise that the kindest thing we can do, is to know 'when the time has come'- But it is indeed so hard.