Serious cat dilemma

When I was little we kept one of our cat’s kittens which was supposed to be mine. However first cat did not get on with her offspring so “my cat” was rehomed. I knew where she went and she was well looked after but I never did like first cat after that.

If I took cat 2 then my own bruisers might start peeing. Also she's an outside cat and we live in a fourth floor flat. Our boys have never been out.
The prospect Calipso raises is chilling. I'm sure she's right though. It is a terrible risk.
Rehoming cat 2 isn't an option either as her DH and sons love her and she's very friendly. It's only poor old cat 1 that's a problem. If only they hadn't got a kitten two years ago. . It's a real dilemma.

Aveline

Of course I didn't consider 'killing him'!! I put it there as a last possible resort. I was trying to consider all possible things she could do. They're getting desperate. He's just peed on the clean pile of clothes out for packing for DGS's first school trip away.

I asked upthread. Is he a neutered Tom?

Aveline As I said upthread, Cat No. 1 needs to be checked by the vet to see if he has cystitis/kidney problems causing his weeing everywhere. He may just need some treatment to put him right, poor little chap.

He is a neutered Tom and has been cleared by the vet. No physical problem. It would be easier if there was. I don't know what will happen. There's nothing I can say other than to be sympathetic as DD starts scrubbing again.

Could you have the younger cat Aveline?

The younger cat needs to be rehomed, not the older one. Will you take it Aveline?

I would, very reluctantly, find a new loving home for the second cat.

You are lucky in some ways that he is a Ragdoll so he will be very easy to rehome. Ask a local rescue to help with rehoming as they are very used to those awful people who want cats for baiting - please don’t be fooled these people are very adept at “adopting” cats and seem genuine. As someone else has said cat rescues are totally full with numerous kittens arriving in rescue. For those on Facebook it is so sad to see rescues pleading for funds and food for these unwanted animals. Something has to give and sadly it is the older black cats which are euthanised - this is fact!

Are the areas sanitized with products that erase the enzymes?

Those enzymes indicate cats that is a peeing area

If removing, cat no. 2 is the one to go.

Look into FELIWAY, I used the collar and room diffuser when someone else's cat kept inviting himself into my house. Naturally my cat ( 5 years old, neutered girl) hated this male, entire male cat made himself at home. I used Feliway for about 3 months, until the collar and diffuser needed renewing by then both cats were calm with each other. Good luck. hugs

Try Feliway room deffuser and collar for the first cat but if this doesn't work the second should be the one to be re homed.
Ragdoll's are a very popular breed and there may well be a website specifically for the re homing of that breed.

Please don't restrict cat 1's access to the house, that would be unkind. They're an extremely sociable breed who love human company and doing so would merely result in increasing the cat's levels of stress and anxiety.

Tricky problem, and happens more than many folk would think, but cats aren't dogs and won't necessarily think "whoopee, another cat to play with". The comments from Calipso and VioletSky are sensible and accurate. There was a show called (?) "My Cat From Hell", (possibly still on Animal Planet, or similar channel?) with an American cat behaviourist, dealing with a whole variety of cat issues. Many cats in the States live as indoor cats, and the "warring cats" syndrome was one he dealt with occasionally. It's ages since I saw that show, but the solution (to try and keep both cats) requires some work, which not every human will do, but it's worth a try. One method involves mealtimes, making sure that #1 cat gets fed first (even by just a few seconds, it's a symbolic thing) and also that they can eat quite close together, though if necessary separated by a barrier, but so they can still see each other. Other factors involve where they like to hang out, so each has their own space (this is complicated by some cats shifting their preference every week or two!). This type of info and more should be available somewhere on the i'net, you've just got to find the right phrase to Google (warring cats?).

I've already said that our two elderly Maine Coons wouldn't take easily to another cat and she would struggle to cope with them as well as a whole new home and no access to outside.
The Feliway diffuser wasn't any good as they'd need hundreds of them but maybe a collar would be worth a try.

This is a very difficult situation and your your DD has my understanding. Putting one to sleep is not necessary, the most sensible and kindly thing to do is re-home one of them . If the second cat is found a new home the first may revert to his original behaviour - no guarantee though! Alternatively re-home the original cat . Very hard decision I recognize that but IMO one of them must go and in your DD situation I would re-home the second cat. Cat pee on furniture and clothing is a definate NO NO! Your DD must not feel guilty, rehoming is the obvious choice! She is not to blame for this , the first cat is clearly not happy and feels threatened - which ever is rehomed will be a kindness to both of them . I hope all goes well.

I would not bother with cat behaviourists or any other ' solution ' hope your DD can bite the bullet and find a new home for one of them . It will be very hard I know that ! but needs must.

My suggestion would be to have 2 litter trays just in case cat 1 doesn't like going in after cat 2 has used it.
Change the type of litter you are using. Maybe cat 1 doesn't like it anymore. I use a paper pellet one from B&M or Pets at home or online. Bio Catolet.
Another suggestion, when I had 3 cats of my own I adopted a relatives cat who died and was 12 years old at the time. She was an only cat and lived alone with with him all that time.
What I did was to buy some thin sliced ham in a packet and when they were all in my living room , door shut was to break some of the ham into small pieces and offered to each of the cats in turn. Let adopted cat have a sniff although she sat away from the others and gave her some and she eventually came and ate with the others. I've not known a cat yet to turn down ham.
You could try the same with 'Dreamies' treats. Cats love them. Put just a few on the floor a little bit apart at first. Put some down for cat 1 first.
Meal times put cat 1's bowl down first and then cat 2 a bit further apart.
Another thing I did was to buy what I called a thing on a stick. A toy. A longish stick with feathers or such at the end. Move it around on the floor for each cat to play with close by.
They liked a laser light pen. A pet one. Shine it all around the room and they chase after the small spotlight and play together. Not to be shone in the eyes.
I think daughter needs to slowly get them intermingled.
It seems cat 1 has the what's called pecking order.
I have a tall cat tree although they are expensive where one cat can sit at the top feeling superior.
Cat one doesn't seem to like attention being given to cat 2. He wants it all to himself and rues the day cat 2 moved in and feeling a bit jealous that's why I've suggested above.
They may only ever tolerate each other but good luck.

OP if I read your post correctly, although the male was not happy about the introduction of the female two years ago, this problem has only just started.

Therefore, my experience of cats tells me that it has little or nothing to do with the female cat.

The advice to get a second opinion from another vet is sound, as in my long experience of cats, if a formerly housetrained one starts deliberately peeing or soiling places he knows very well he shouldn't, something is wrong, and unhappily is very likely to be a physical illness, rather than the cat just being in a huff.

If space in the home allows, your daughter could try dividing the house up into male cat's territory and female cat's, but do advise her to have the male cat checked for bladdder , kidney, liver disease and prostate trouble - he may be weeing whereever he is when he can if he has an enlarged prostate

They are outside cats and don't use a litter tray.

Aveline

They are outside cats and don't use a litter tray.

Maybe Cat No. 1 can't hold on long enough to go outside.

The vet has given him a thorough once over. Nothing found. He's a funny wee thing. He likes me and DD. I looked after him when he was tiny and the family were away so he's always ok with me but spits and strikes out at SiL and the DGSs. Another thought I had was that this is some sort of early dementia. He's 8 now.

8 is nothing Aveline. Most cats live until they're older than 14.

Has the vet done a urine test to check for cystitis?

Aveline I'm wondering how the family members react when he pees in inappropriate places? Do they show anger or shout at him?And how often the cats are played with? People often think that cats can just be left to their own devices but they are social creatures and need play to occupy them. I appreciate that he has access to the outdoors but something is spooking him indoors. My instinct would be that this is a stress response rather than a physical illness as you say that the vet has checked for the obvious things. As another poster has said, 8 is still young for a cat. One of mine is 19 and is displaying some traits of dementia but she is continent and clean though needs help with grooming. I would urge you to at least look at some FAQs around cat behavioural issues. Vicky Halls is very good though sadly she no longer does telephone consultations. You'll find her easily via Google.

Thanks. Needless to say people aren't very happy to find he's peed on their pillows or soft toys or clean ironing. He really has had a full work up from the vet.
A cat we once had was diagnosed with a brain tumour aged 10. A lovely boy. He began behaving quite out of character. It was awful. Am still sad about him.
I'll pass on all your suggestions to DD who is very distressed about it.

grandtanteJE65

OP if I read your post correctly, although the male was not happy about the introduction of the female two years ago, this problem has only just started.

Therefore, my experience of cats tells me that it has little or nothing to do with the female cat.

The advice to get a second opinion from another vet is sound, as in my long experience of cats, if a formerly housetrained one starts deliberately peeing or soiling places he knows very well he shouldn't, something is wrong, and unhappily is very likely to be a physical illness, rather than the cat just being in a huff.

If space in the home allows, your daughter could try dividing the house up into male cat's territory and female cat's, but do advise her to have the male cat checked for bladdder , kidney, liver disease and prostate trouble - he may be weeing whereever he is when he can if he has an enlarged prostate

I so agree with this. It took my DS several trips. to the vet and lots of tests eventually the cat was diagnosed as diabetic.