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Serious cat dilemma

(192 Posts)
Aveline Wed 19-Jul-23 21:32:56

I feel very sorry for DD. Her first cat is a small Ragdoll with big personality. He is devoted to her. Just her. Not her DH or sons. Two years ago they got another Ragdoll kitten. She's a nice friendly uncomplicated little thing. The problem is that cat 1 loathes cat 2 and is now peeing all over the place. Nowhere is safe. He pees on beds, piles of clean washing etc.
The vet isn't helpful at all. It's too late now to go through a slow introduction. The two cats have been living together for two years now.
What to do? DH suggested that cat 1 not be allowed into the main house any more (there is a cat flap into a comfortable laundry room) I don't think that's practical really as cat 1 will find ways into the house.
Re-home? Euthanise? Both seem too radical but the situation is bad. Any ideas or suggestions from anyone who's experienced anything like this. DD is torn. She really loves him (so do I)

watermeadow Thu 20-Jul-23 18:00:29

Cats are solitary by nature and most of them would far rather be only cats. I adopted 2 cats from the same home and assumed they were a bonded pair. It turned out Big Cat was a bully and Little Cat was scared of him. I considered re homing one but spent months working on their relationship and the bullying has stopped.
If I had one weeing everywhere I wouldn’t hesitate to rehome one. You’ll be doing them both a favour.

Fleurpepper Thu 20-Jul-23 18:04:02

No question, one has to be re-homed. I think the fair thing would be to re-home the younger cat. But if he does not get on with the rest of the family, I could understand if they choose to re-home the older one. Asap.

FannyCornforth Thu 20-Jul-23 18:04:54

Well, these things happen when you have animals.
As a pet owner, one needs to be prepared for such events and be able to deal with them appropriately.

Callistemon21 Thu 20-Jul-23 18:06:07

On a practical note, the boys will have to keep their bedroom doors shut.

Does anyone else feed him or is it just your DD who does? He might develop 'cupboard love' if they take it in turns.

It seems cat 1 has the what's called pecking order

Yes, he's Top Cat. He may not like the men in the family but might still feel jealous if they make a fuss of cat No. 2

Can they try to encourage him to be more friendly with them, starting with SIL in case he scratches? At the same time ignoring Cat No 2.

Another idea- has the vet checked his thyroid function? An over-active thyroid can cause them to urinate frequently.
Or a hormonal imbalance?

Try another vet?

Aveline Thu 20-Jul-23 19:00:07

Oh yes. It's doors shut in their house!
Our own two rehomed cats are very happy together despite one being from California and one from Finland.

Aveline Thu 20-Jul-23 19:02:38

Here's the cuprit

Riverwalk Thu 20-Jul-23 19:11:41

For the life of me I can't imagine why killing this fine-looking fellow was even an outside option!

Katek Thu 20-Jul-23 19:22:13

Iii

Katek Thu 20-Jul-23 19:23:12

Oops......sorry! Ignore the above, just leant on my phone!grin

FannyCornforth Thu 20-Jul-23 19:34:37

Oh god Aveline. You really aren’t doing yourself any favours here

eddiecat78 Thu 20-Jul-23 19:59:38

I don't understand why people import rescue cats - and dogs - from overseas when UK rescue centres are bursting at the seams

Aveline Thu 20-Jul-23 20:21:33

I didn't import our cats. We rehomed them from a breeder who didn't want them any more.
I can't seem to get over to you that I was trying to look at all possible solutions across a whole spectrum. It's hard to see why some people on here just don't get it. I'm not trying to 'do myself any favours'. angry

Elegran Thu 20-Jul-23 20:47:41

Time to RTFOP for "some posters", I think.
"Re-home? Euthanise? Both seem too radical but the situation is bad. " Aveline Wed 19-Jul-23 21:32:56 Aveline Wed 19-Jul-23 21:32:56
Why take the instant view that the OP would import cats from the ends of the earth and/or gladly advocate euthanasia as a first resort for problems?

Callistemon21 Thu 20-Jul-23 20:52:55

eddiecat78

I don't understand why people import rescue cats - and dogs - from overseas when UK rescue centres are bursting at the seams

Aveline didn't say she did import them.

Fleurpepper Thu 20-Jul-23 20:53:32

eddiecat78

I don't understand why people import rescue cats - and dogs - from overseas when UK rescue centres are bursting at the seams

Indeed, totally get it, in the UK. But this is NOT the point here.

Aveline, sorry some are giving you a bad time. You need to help your daughter with re-homing- and first sit down with her, and her with her family, to decide which cat needs re-homing, and fast.

Do you know anyone without a cat or other animal, or young children- who could foster him for a while to see how he is when on his own- and then re-home from there. Good luck.

Have to say, I see families adding pets of all different shapes, sizes, ages- for fun, without ever thinking it might not work and lead to all sorts of issues and very hard decisions- and never ever thinking of 'what if ... what then'. Not saying this is the case here btw.

eddiecat78 Thu 20-Jul-23 21:01:52

Aveline

Oh yes. It's doors shut in their house!
Our own two rehomed cats are very happy together despite one being from California and one from Finland.

My apologies - I took this to mean that you had brought the cats to this country rather than you having acquired them from someone else who imported them

Fleurpepper Thu 20-Jul-23 21:15:19

If you don't know anyone who could foster one of the cats for a few weeks to monitor behaviour- then ask your local cat rescue if they have a list of suitable foster people.

When we adopted our last 2 cats in UK from local rescue, we had to go and visit them at the foster family, and pick them up from there when adoption was approved.

LRavenscroft Fri 21-Jul-23 05:26:14

Aveline

Here's the cuprit

Where I live he would be re=homed in a heart beat by our very competent animal shelter where homes and owners are thoroughly checked and vetted before being allowed to move in. Disgusting to suggest 'euthanasia'. I am truly shocked. Go to your nearest Cat Protection and get the poor fellow rehomed and loved.

Calipso Fri 21-Jul-23 05:50:09

LRavenscroft

Aveline

Here's the cuprit

Where I live he would be re=homed in a heart beat by our very competent animal shelter where homes and owners are thoroughly checked and vetted before being allowed to move in. Disgusting to suggest 'euthanasia'. I am truly shocked. Go to your nearest Cat Protection and get the poor fellow rehomed and loved.

It's not that simple. In most areas the cat rescue agencies are full to bursting with cats in ever increasing numbers that have been living either on the streets, un-neutered or injured / sick or removed from poor home conditions. A cat that has become inconvenient won't be seen as a priority I'm afraid.

Elegran Fri 21-Jul-23 08:23:42

LRavenscroft

Aveline

Here's the cuprit

Where I live he would be re=homed in a heart beat by our very competent animal shelter where homes and owners are thoroughly checked and vetted before being allowed to move in. Disgusting to suggest 'euthanasia'. I am truly shocked. Go to your nearest Cat Protection and get the poor fellow rehomed and loved.

Oh for crying out loud! Come doon aff your cuddy down off your high horse of righteous outrage. No-one has suggested euthanasia . Some posters have said the truth - that banishment and then rehoming could seem a worse fate to a not-so-young cat who has spent many years in one home and then had to share it with a confident interloper than quietly going to sleep in peace.

The OP brushed on the distant possibility that if nothing else worked her daughter might have to consider. "Re-home? Euthanise? Both seem too radical . . ." That reads to me like strong distaste for either course, but recognition of the situation.

Aveline Fri 21-Jul-23 08:33:24

Thank you Elegran. I'm glad you understand.

Maya1 Fri 21-Jul-23 08:43:05

Oh Aveline what a beauty he is, as are your two. I remember from some of your previous posts how you rescued yours.
Sorry your daughter is struggling with what to do for the best.
I'm sure you all want is best for him.
I wish I could give some suggestions but lm not sure what is best to do. Years ago one of our rescue cats suddenly started peeing everywhere, that was due to kidney problems. However if the vet has ruled out any physical problems unsure what to suggest.
How difficult it must be when you love him so much, good luck.

Elegran Fri 21-Jul-23 08:48:16

You are welcome. I don't like it when people in a painful dilemma get extra kicks from the unco' guid.

Dillonsgranma Fri 21-Jul-23 11:39:46

Neuter both animals. Put a cat nappy on the first cat if he’s in the house. Nappies for small dogs and cats can be bought on Amazon. If that doesn’t work then rehome the most recent cat

DeeDe Fri 21-Jul-23 11:47:31

Definitely Re home the second cat … he will settle anywhere by the sounds of it .. it’s unkind to use euthanasia or rehome the poor mite.