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Over 50 internet dating

(114 Posts)
naafi Wed 25-May-11 12:30:10

If you're over 50 and internet dating, do you find that there are no menfolk your age are interested? They're only looking for women up to mid 40's.

It's only guys who are - well - 10 years+ older than you who show up on the radar.

Lyndie Thu 24-May-12 21:34:50

I have been on and off dating sites for a while but with no success and find the hope and then the disappointment gets to me! Should I keep going?

Roxann Wed 11-Jul-12 17:55:57

Hello, I am new to this amazing site and just noticed this thread. I have had quite a lot of experience on internet dating sites with both good and bad results.
I tend to agree with what 'maturefloosy' and Faye is saying, you could meet weirdos anywhere nowadays, not just on dating sites. You just need to be careful on them because of the scams...chaps looking for money (I've not been taken in myself, I can spot them) but some women have been taken in and send money to these people they have never met!!! Just be cautious. Personally, I'll not bother going on them anymore as sometimes seem to think that men are not looking for women their own age, but younger looking.
I sometimes just think its a bit of hit and miss with the sites, some are lucky, others are not.

vampirequeen Wed 11-Jul-12 21:54:30

I used to be on a dating site. I came into the world when I was 47. I'd met my ex when I was 14. Joining a site was the best thing I ever did. This is more or less the history of my time.

You meet a variety of people. Most nice but some weird. The advantage of the internet is that you can ban people you don't feel comfortable with. You can usually spot the nutters because they want to show you their bits within the first five minutes. Some were nice to chat to and others good fun to flirt with. Flirting can be a huge self esteem booster lol. I used to like to see them on webcam if they had one but I never showed myself.

The men I met in real life:
1. M was the most boring man in the entire world. I didn't know 2 hours could be so long. He said he was an accountant and drove a porsche. If he was then I'm Mata Hari lol.
2. J was a player. He was upfront from the start. We became great friends.
3. R was a lovely man. We became great friends after a sort of relationship. He's now with the love of his life.
4. K pretended to be single but blurted it all out on our first date. I could tell from the start that he loved his wife. I ended up as a sort of marriage guidance counsellor lol. He's still a friend and still working on his marriage.
5. N was amazing. We had a magical time together but he was ill and we both knew nothing would come of it. He's still a friend.
6. D was my fb for a few months. We met each others needs. I needed to feel cared for and spoilt and he needed to care for and spoil someone.
7. C is the most wonderful man in the world. He's kind, caring and generous. He has dark curly hair and the most dazzling blue eyes. We fell in love on the day we met. He proposed to me in a waterfall at Howarth and put the ring on my finger at Oxenhope station (where they filmed the Railway Children). We married last August and I've never been happier.

Ella46 Wed 11-Jul-12 22:18:44

Oh Vampire you make it sound like a really good experience when I always thought it would be quite depressing! smile
Which site were you on? I've never been on one and I'm not very adventurous on the internet.

vampirequeen Wed 11-Jul-12 22:54:03

I'm a BBW so I went on Big Cupid.

Momof2 Thu 09-Aug-12 12:19:00

I did not have much success. I am interested in a friendship and not a serious relationship. The men who responded were almost all much older thatn I and looking for a soul mate. I felt as if they didn't even read my profile. Does anyone have a site they recommend. I am fifty three and newly divorced.

freddie1 Sat 18-Aug-12 14:06:36

i have lived on my own now for the last three years after loosing my best friend ( my husband ), i am 80 yrs young although i am lonely at times and would love to have some one to go on days outings and to have meals out , i still like my indipendancy ,and am a little bit scared of the dateing thing. am i a loner or is there others like me out there confused .

AlisonMA Sat 18-Aug-12 14:12:24

I only know one couple who met on the Internet and they are married and seem to be happy. They are about 40 but I don't think age has anything to do with it.

No harm in giving it a go and seeing how it works out, why not? Alternatively join some local organisations and make friends that way. At 80 you should be doing whatever you like. Go girl, what have you got to lose?

crimson Sat 18-Aug-12 14:16:23

Momo; have you tried Spice and groups like that, more activity based. I don't think it's just for really young people. I joined a singles group when I was 50; it was just a friendship group but a lot of people met and married people. Which area do you live in? I did join one called Nexus but it was awful; although I believe their groups in other areas were quite good and it may have improved since.

crimson Sat 18-Aug-12 14:21:37

When you're young I think relationships are based on chemicals [love at first sight and all that] but when you're older it's more about having shared interests. That's why the internet is so good as you get older. But I still think that the way to meet someone is to do lots of interesting things and be happy; when you do that you attract people. When I was in my singles group I joined not wanting to 'meet' someone at all; those that did seemed to put people off. For the first time in my life I was suddenly 'in demand' wink....

worlie Thu 20-Sept-12 14:35:42

tried some of these sites too but found that mostly the men seemed to be simply looking for someone to jump into bed with and not a genuine relationship

worlie Thu 20-Sept-12 14:39:05

freddie1 well someone who feels the same as me, good luck to us both, I suppose miracles can still happen, or can they?? hope so

bikergran Thu 20-Sept-12 19:56:16

me 56 (soon to be 57) feel ermmm 104 DH 20 yrs older.....(never again) well it wouldnt actualy happen again would it lol.grin

englishsunset Thu 22-Nov-12 00:25:32

This is my first post here and can't quite figure out where to begin, so, like most things I do, I'm just jumping in.
I had the most interesting experience with online dating. Some time ago I was playing music at our local Friday night jam and in walks this woman I'd never seen before.
Because I tend to be somewhat of a flirt and was trying to reform my ways, I moved a bit away from her so she wouldn't feel encroached upon or something.
She sat directly in front of me on a percussion box, thumping away with her hands. She was hard not to notice, I mean she was right in front of me. So, I introduced myself.
Turns out that she had just come from the library where she signed up for an online dating service and heard us playing, so she stopped in.
I saw her in her yard the next day and stopped in to say hello, and whaddayaknow, we've been dating ever since.

vampirequeen Thu 22-Nov-12 05:49:56

That's a lovely story. Just shows you never know who is around the corner waiting to enter your life.

englishsunset Sun 25-Nov-12 23:17:10

I must have been lucky when I met my lady. We are both the same age, in our 50's. I do recall my online dating experiences though, of setting age range parameters.
I was afraid to try too young for fear of seeming to be creepy. Too old seemed, well, too old.

englishsunset Sun 25-Nov-12 23:19:29

To me, any kind of dating depends on the laws of attraction. If you prepare yourself to be the kind of person you want to be, eventually you will come across somebody who fits you quite well.
It is hard though, sifting through the available partners and continually becoming disappointed. There is a big difference from site to site as well, I think.

vampirequeen Mon 26-Nov-12 09:21:58

I think I was lucky with the site I chose. I was also very cynical. I knew what I'd had with my ex and I knew what I wanted from a new man. I had a mental list which included:

doesn't smoke
doesn't drink to excess
doesn't gamble
doesn't swear in everday conversation
doesn't shout
wants me for who I am not what he thinks he can turn me into

It was quite comprehensive and I probably didn't meet up with some very nice men because they didn't fit my criteria. However it was a case of once bitten twice shy....I had no intention of making the mistake of getting involved with anyone like my ex husband.

I think you have to go into internet dating with your eyes open. Don't think your dream man is there already just waiting for you....he might be but he might not have joined yet. Just enjoy chatting and flirting with men you like and ban those you don't feel comfortable about. Think about it as a form of entertainment and way of making friends with, like the real world, the chance of meeting that someone special.

englishsunset Sat 01-Dec-12 01:31:04

You can say that again! I think a lot of older people have neglected their own development because of life's commitments and all.
If you want to find love, you need to be lovable.

Dating Over 50

englishsunset Sat 01-Dec-12 01:33:51

I dated a woman who had a very specific list for her dream man. I couldn't believe my good fortune when she read it to me; I fulfilled every one of them!
All except chemistry, it just wasn't there.
We tried to make it happen for a few months and had everything imaginable in common, but it just did not click.

glammanana Sat 01-Dec-12 08:28:37

VQ its fab to hear that you are so happy and have found that special man in your life,whilst I have been very happy with mr.g. for over 38yrs if I was on my own I think I would dip my toe in the "on line dating" scene as there are not very many places ladies of a certain age can frequent on their own a few of my friends have used dating forums and made quite a few friends though them although not all of them turned out to become full blown relationships and they picked up a few frogs on the way but hey-ho thats all part of life isn't it.

vampirequeen Sat 01-Dec-12 08:32:51

I know what you mean about developing yourself. I met a man who fulfilled my list but was actually the most boring man in the entire world. I didn't know two hours could last so long. He had no opinions or interests. In fact he lived his life to a timetable from getting up to taking the dog for a walk to going back to bed. Everything was done by the clock.

shaunsmumno1 Thu 06-Dec-12 11:32:13

It all seems so daunting with many pitfalls,tried it years ago when i was widowed
at 52,never met one man with any sense of humour,very important to me.
Gave up, and now live a happy life in Cyprus lots of friends good social life but you never know! winecheers.

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