what's the worst personal comment you have received from a person ?

when I was 7 I had my first pair of spectacles, I nervously asked my mother " do I look alright" to which she replied " you look beautiful" i proudly have worn glasses from that day! just very recently she told me in front of my family that it had been "the biggest lie of my life" I know I am too old now to be upset but I am!!

Oh, grandmaagain, I was just thinking what a lovely thing for your mother to say to you when you were 7. At least it got you through all those years without feeling awkward about wearing your specs. Then she let you down with a crash...I would have felt just the same as you, I think. How can you follow that? However, I'm sure she was mistaken! You'll have worn your glasses with aplomb - and looked lovely!

Once, many years ago - I was sitting in the doctor's surgery with young son and daughter - both of very different hair and skin colour........I was asked by a fellow patient - do they have the same father..............? Bad enough, but then into the doctor's room and he asked me if I had adopted them.......... I'm sure I could claim some post traumatic something-or-other if it was said to me now.........!!

When my eldest was in her pram, people used to say things like "What a beautiful baby, does she take after her father?"
She's still gorgeous now!

thank you greenmossgiel she also told me that they were considering adopting a child before my younger brother was born.*because my granparents were spoiling me so much I was becoming horrible" I was about 3 at the time!

Hi jogginggirl, I used to get asked if all my children had the same father, even though they looked like I'd cloned them and they had the same distinctive colour hair that wasn't the same as mine. I was only asked that because I was open about never having married him.

When my eldest daughter was at school I was working as features editor for our local evening newspaper.
To my daughters, this somehow translated into me standing on street corners shouting out the day's headlines!
However, when the daughter of one stay-at-home mum made some disparaging remark about my career I (and, frankly, with the junior understanding of my work who could blame her?) my Charlotte's reaction was "Well, at least she's got a job!" All of which put my fine career into proper perspective.

crimson's comment "when I go to the cinema, theatre etc the [oh so young] person selling the tickets asks if we are on any 'benefits', meaning are we pensioners. I know they're being helpful but I wince every time it happens" reminds me of a story my Mum told me recently. Here in Oz your driver's licence is renewed for 10 years at a time, but you can opt for anything from one year upwards. Mum and one of her mates were at motor rego renewing the mate's licence and the young guy asked if she really wanted 10 years worth, and perhaps she might just want 2 or 3 years. The mate got haughty and said no, she wanted the full 10 years thank you very much! They went off for a coffee and to meet another friend and told the tale of this pretentious young whippersnapper from motor rego and how dare he suggest she'd just want a shorter period. The penny finally dropped when the friend asked my 89 year old Mum's 94 year old mate "So do you think you might still be driving when you're 104 then Kath?"

Poppa,

constance - amazing how people judge with no knowledge of us isn't it? I remember being at a children's' party with my very pretty 4-year old daughter. She was standing at the top of the slide when one of the grandma's said isn't she just the prettiest little girl - I proudly say yes, and she's my daughter......."oh is she really, well I would never have guessed it!" came the response! Being very young and lacking in confidence I skulked away, I was mortified!! That wouldn't happen now and, yes, my daughter is still beautiful in every possible way......

After I'd left my last school prizegiving with a load of prizes, one of my old primary school teachers came up to me and said: 'Well, I'd never have expected that of you!' What a backhander that was!

grandmaagain..I feel your pain; a real 'ouch' moment just reading it

Being proudly non sporty now, at 11 by the games mistress when I scored a goal in hockey I was told by the games mistress "It shows you are not entirely hopeless" I still see it as a compliment.

After lessons (I presume at school) on how to politely address old people our twin grandsons took to calling all four grandparents 'the elderlies'. Apparently they are still doing it to the other grandparents. Lucky we live so far away or I would have strangled them by now.

But being called "that old woman" by one of them did nothing for my ego and my daughter thought and called it "just a joke".

Many years ago I had one of those loose, tossled perms that you just had to wash, run your fingers through with a bit of mousse and let it dry normally. A colleague from work asked if I had had a perm to which I replied (feeling quite pleased she had noticed) "yes". She continued on to say she had a perm like that once and complained it hadn't taken so perhaps I should ask for my money back without a hint of humour just bagfuls of sarcasim.... Best of buddies? I don't think so!

when i was young i met an old lady who said to me "you look like a big strong lass, you'll never be out of work"

I was out with my Dad when I was about 14 and a colleague of his remarked 'oh this must be your son' ! I know I had short hair but I didn't look like a boy, I was mortified.

When I was about 50 the husband of one of my students (who had been through a disciplinary) rang me to vent his feelings about it. He was extremely rude and shouted at me and then called me a bimbo. I just politely thanked him for the compliment and put the phone down!! Never thought I would be referred to as a bimbo at that age!!

An aunt once looked at me very sadly and said 'and you were such a pretty child'

When I was 11 the local Secondary Modern School had a royal blue uniform, the Grammar School brown. I was on a growth spurt so Mum started knitting my winter cardigan in royal blue.

When I passed my 11+ she was shocked rigid, saying "Who'd have thought it?" She never did knit a brown one - we got one from Dewsbury market instead.

PS
That Secondary Modern was the one Patrick Stewart went to - you know, Captain Jean-Luc Picard of Star Trek. He grew up in Mirfield where I did, but I never knew him as he's a few years older.

I made a personal comment worse. Trying on shoes the assistant said

You have a very youthful foot,
You mean it doesn't match my face? I replied!
It was an embarrassing moment for us both and I had to leave the shop and the shoes which I rather liked.

You really put your foot in it there, charlotta!

I made a non-verbal personal comment once, which I instantly regretted. I was about 12, and our neighbour was in having a cuppa with my mother. She had the misfortune to have one eye which turned in really badly, and it fascinated me. Now, at that age I could voluntarily turn my eyes in and then out again to amuse my friends.

She turned toward me to ask something about school, and as I answered I felt myself go cross-eyed in turn. Mortification!!

When I was pregnant the first time and hardly grew from my usual size 10 my MIL's sister said to her in my hearing "You're daughter-in-law would be thin if it wasn't for her nice sturdy legs" Grrrrrr.

I can't say it was the worst comment - but in the wrong 'hands' it could have been bearing in mind today's litigious climate. When I was about 7 the headmistress at my school was taking our swimming lesson in our school pool. Although I could just about swim it took a lot of effort and the dear lady, who had a loud voice at the best of times, shouted 'Come on -, a little plum pudding like you should be able to swim!' As she was also as round as she was tall it was pot calling kettle... I related it to my parents who thought it hilarious and I must say I took it in the spirit in which it was said as I liked her and she liked me. It became one of those comments that were dredged up from time to time in our family. And yes, I was a pudgy child but it never bothered me luckily