what's the worst personal comment you have received from a person ?

My mum told me many times when I was growing up that I would never amount to anything but her best put-down was that I should have been drowned at birth!! My lovely SIL only found out about this a few years ago and now refuses to see her. My mum and I only have contact with each other when forced ie funerals etc. Her loss I think

Definitely her loss, nanamacatj. How on earth could she say that to you.

nanamacatj not only was she wrong and a poor judge of her own child, but it seems she has not amounted to much as a consequence of her behaviour. As green says - her loss!

Absolutely her loss, nanamacatj. It seems the best thing you have done is to prove her wrong.

Many thanks all of you. Most of the time she doesn't feature much in my thoughts, but just once in a while it bugs me, then I get cross with myself because I know I'm better than that. I'm going to think thoughts for the rest of the day

My mother had my sister in 1951, brother in 1952, me in 1953 and another brother in 1955. A few years ago I remarked how tough that must have been for her and she immediately responded with, 'Yes, but we didn't have abortions in those days or you wouldn't have been born.' I didn't take it personally as it was a simple statement of fact, but it's a sobering thought isn't it?

Sad when mothers say mean and insensitive things to their children. My lovely grandmother used to describe my aunt as "the ugly duckling" because she was the daughter without curly hair.
My DIL's grandad, when she was going through a chubby phase in her early teens used to say "WHAT weight are you now?" every time he saw her.
People years ago did not really see children as sensitive creatures who's self esteem could be damaged by things you said in front of them or to them. They were just doing what their parents did before them.

I confess to being tactless along the lines of grannyactivist's mother. A few years ago I was driving somewhere with DD in the car and something made me say 'of course, you were an accident'. DD was borne 9 months and 1 day after we were married and she knows this so I thought it would have been obvious. However, quite recently I found that all this time she has been thinking she was an unwanted pregnancy (as she put it) which was not the case at all. Unexpected but not unwanted as her father said to her. I still feel regret and somewhat ashamed that I blurted such a thing out. My mother said quite a few tactless/hurtful things to me but I think I'll let her off the hook and keep schtum.

I meant shtumm (just looked it up)

The remark made to me constantly over the years, always by stick thin women
is "I'm enormous I must lose weight " said whilst tapping their flat tummies!!!
Needless to say I am far from stick thin!

I used to work with a skinny woman who could eat her way through a tray of chocolate ecalirs and announce 'oh, I'm so fat now!' Yes, if you got a magnifying glass you could probably detect a temporary 1 mm on her stomach. Makes you sick!

It is very difficult to go through life not inadvertently saying something that devastates someone as people react so differently to the same comment.

A few years ago, one of my uncles, told me about his first day at work as a a very junior civil servant and he recounted two comments made by his manager on the first day that had utterly crushed and demoralised him. I could only look at him blankly because if those comments had been made to me I would have seen them as the sort of encouraging platitudes a manager might use to inspire confidence in a youngster on their first day at work.

I think the worst I've ever heard was when I was staying with a friend and her family. Her mother was talking to me about the family and she turned to her youngest daughter,at that time was about fifty, and said" she was a twin and the wrong twin died". Completely devastating.

Gosh ..some Mother's comments are so very hurtful. Nothing I ever did was good enough for my mother and a lot of comments hurt but weren't as devastating as some above.

When I was teaching, Home Economics Teachers were obviously classed as 'second class citizens ' to some 'more academic' members of staff.
Our head of English used to buy a 'Scotsman' newspaper on his way to school (early), read it and put it on the Staffroom table.
One morning before 'the bell' I picked up his paper and started to read the front page.
In front of everyone he said ''O look at Mrs M pretending to be intelligent, reading the Scotsman !!''
I couldn't think of a reply at the time as I was so hurt and just wanted to cry....

Don't you wish you could have a ready put-down for moments like that tosh?

A group of female probation officers stood up in our staff room to go to another meeting room, and one of the male (and sexist) probation officers asked me 'what are you girlies talking about today, then?' Our new student quickly retorted ' we're discussing sexism amongst men who have become complacent about their abilities in the workplace!'

We all filed out and, when safely behind the meeting room door, burst into fits of giggles.

carol that was very quick thinking good for her.

Many years ago I had a boyfriend who told me that I walked like a well-bred cart horse – and he meant it as a compliment.

When a very dear friend told me "you're not the friend I thought you were". That was devastating especially because I thought I had been a very good friend to him.

At a large family gathering, my late brother-in-law (who thought he was the bee's knees) criticised my lack of curviness around the bosom area, saying, "I thought women were supposed to have t.ts?" I retorted, "I thought men were supposed to have b.lls, but you're obviously the exception!" I was so proud of myself (as I was always very wary of him - but not after that!!)

Greenmossgiel, good for you! That`s something I wish I was good at, witty repartee, but the witty replies always come to me several hours later, when it`s far too late!

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People who say such thoughtless and cruel things are really not worth worrying about, best avoided, the majority of people do not make unkind comments, we all have faults, how boring if we didnt..

My mother: 'You could be quite attractive if you tried.'

She was a lovely mother, just wasn't thinking when she said that.

"You have legs like a robin"
???
"Straight up and down with no noticeable knee"

This is not a question you should ever ask a fat person because all of us are treated to frequesnt nasty comments and I'm no exception.

I had a thin and pretty sister so even as a child people were saying nasty things. ''Ey up, here comes the scrum half and the little fairy, bless her." (or Beauty and the Beast).
Or whistling the Baby Elephant Walk.
My Dad nicknamed me 'Tub'.

Perhaps the worst thing (in term sof how it affected me) was in a restaurant with my husband, celebrating his birthday, and a woman came up to our table, looked at my plate of Greek kebabs and said, 'It's fat people like you who cause thousands of deaths from famine in the Third World, you greedy pig." And poured salt all over my plate.

I have had people take things from my supermarket trolley saying, 'YOU don't need that, you're fat enough.' Even when I was shopping on behalf of someone else.

And how many dozens of times have I heard, 'No wonder you're so fat!' If I dare to eat a hot dog, packet of crisps,
and especially an ice cream in public.
That's ONE ice cream btw, just like everyone else, not a couple in each hand

Now, none of affects me.
I know my worth, I love my body and I simply pity people who think they have to be slimmer in order to be happy/successful/sexy etc., as I've proved otherwise.

Joan How come my mother lived with you all those years and I never noticed?