Fathers for Justice

I'm afraid that however desperate a father is, doing something like this makes me doubt his judgement and self control. It is true that there are some women who use their children as a weapon against their exes, who may have done little or nothing wrong.
It is also true that there are some dangerous exes out there. At the extreme end there was one recently in the news who killed both the children the first time he had access.
One of our local papers is very supportive of a man whose children were taken, by their mother, to her home in Africa. Just no way that the paper can know what lies behind this is there.

"I don't remember the percentage of parents denied contact in private law proceedings before the courts, but it is extremely low."

The reason that the true numbers are not known, as a barrister told us, is the majority don't go to court.
Sadly I think that the responses are the usual stereotypical reaction to this issue, of course there are SOME parents, be that Mums or Dads or Grandparents who should never have anything to do with their children/grandchildren, but 200 children per day are losing contact, that is fact.
It is obviously a very emotive subject but please don't go down the blame game road.
'In the best interest of the child,' is interesting, of course the view of the children must be heard, but have you as a child ever been a victim of Parental Alienation? I have.
To be told constantly that your Mum or Dad is a bad person and doesn't love you, eventually you believe it,, even though at a later time in life you discover the truth.
You have been lied to, and lost precious years, never to be replaced.

I believe in some cases also, children have the right to decide whether they want contact with either parent, and their decision is honoured, so again we really need to know the whole story before agreeing or disagreeing with any actions taken by the one 'sinned against' (if that is the right expression).

I agree, it's dreadful for children when their parents get locked into intransigent positions about contact arrangements. Children need to have positive relationships with their parents, grandparents and extended families. That view is held dear by the family court judges I worked with. As Nelliemoser said, some people can be "plain bloody minded" when it comes to the other parent. In some situations, mothers and children remain very fearful of the father who may have been violent/abused drugs/alcohol etc. I don't remember the percentage of parents denied contact in private law proceedings before the courts, but it is extremely low. Most parents resolve contact/residence matters without going to court. Many of those who sadly end up before the courts can be assisted in reaching agreement. I am aware of families where there has been domestic violence, drug/alcohol abuse, safeguarding issues etc, where contact arrangements have been put in place, sometimes making use of the (few) contact centres available or indirect contact like letters, video etc. I empathise with the distress caused when family relationships break down but as others have said, public displays like this one are unlikely to help resolve the contact problem. The children in the middle of this dreadful situation are likely to have been caused further distress. The tv programme some time ago, with Mat O'Connor, founder of F4J and other members of F4J, sadly confirmed the worry that some of these men have problems with violence/drugs/alcohol. I said some, not all.....

Minty I can understand the desperation, but sometimes there are circumstances when the courts make a decision to stop any contact by a particular relative for very good child welfare reasons.

The reasons for such decisions are kept confidential.

It is astonishing how plain bloody minded some parents can be when it comes to child custody situations and they are the ones without any obvious child protection issues.

Most courts would not lightly take a decision to stop contact unless they have good grounds to do so.

However if one parent insists on defying a court order for contact by the other it can still be very difficult, expensive and time consuming to get that parent to comply.

Is it not irresponsible that the situation of children being denied contact has NOT improved in 20 years.
Is it not criminal damage when a child is denied their human right to a loving and meaningful relationship with BOTH parents.
I am not condoning this but I know that the public do not understand the reality and the total desperation felt by Dads /Mums and Grandparents who are denied contact.
How do you know that this Dad is not a 'nice guy?' Who only wants to be caring.
We are quick to judge, in something that we have no knowledge.

I'm with Flickety anything outrageous would label you as irresponsible.

That particular one will do him no good at all it is just a pointless act of vandalism. It actually makes him seem very unreasonable indeed.

As an estranged father who cannot get contact he really needs to be presenting himself as being a nice guy who is caring and not vindictive.

Quite rightly, the public never get to hear both sides of the situation with regard to an estranged couples full story.

None, any would be counterproductive.