DH given up making any effort?

Better that he should have 2 good snack-type meals a day than turn away from other meals. It is an entirely adequate as a diet, so no worries there.

Yes - definitely do not neglect your own nutrition - I agree.

It is, I know, very hard to work your tripe out cooking something and have it rejected; but you can cook those lovely meals for yourself and enjoy them.

We often just have cereal for breakfast, soup and a roll for lunch, and fruit and yoghurt for tea - don't feel hungry after that.

Enjoy your cooking yourself - it sounds excellent and you can come and cook for me any day!

"work your tripe out".



I have never heard that before!

Love it! Work your tripe out..

Nonu, don't worry, I give him a multivitamin tablet! This new regime has only been going for a couple of days - Soutra's dilemma really concentrated my mind on the problem.

Oh Jingl my nutrition is all too well catered for! I sometimes wish I could lose my appetite but I think it will be the very last of my senses to go!

I'm not on any medication but I couldn't eat a full meal every tea time. In fact I often have a couple of Ryvitas with pate for lunch and tea, or just two hard boiled eggs.

After a few days, I then start to think that I could fancy something more substantial.

I provide one cooked meal (one course) a day for DH and me. Most days anyway. Sometimes I tell him it's feed yourself day. Sometimes i tell him he's cooking for me too cos I'm fed up of cooking/don't have any good ideas/am too tired/whatever comes into my head at the time. Sometimes I tell him there is stuff in the fridge that needs eating up or leave something ready that needs reheating if i'm going out.

That's one meal a day.

The rest of the time he can eat or not eat. I don't care which. He's an adult.

This system works well.

That's fine if you are both in similar (good) health thatbags and I am not making excuses for DH but tas far as I know our situations are not the same.
I have decided to go alomg with the small/light evening meal and make sure he gets his vitamins and other essential nutrition by providing home made healthy food at lunch. His cooked breakfast can carry on as long as he wants - who knows maybe a heart attack would be preferable to the other major organ failure he has waiting for him at some unspecified date in the future.

Soutra

I'd love to go along with thatbags's system, but like you, Soutra, DH's health requirements mean I can't just leave him to his own devices.

I have taken on board the fact that he doesn't really want that much to eat in the evenings, but he won't even drink the supplements the GP has prescribed to try and bring his weight up. It's difficult.

Yes, of course it would be different if health concerns meant that DH couldn't deal with his food intake himself. But if your DH can do himself a fry up in the mornings, presumably he could feed himself the rest of the time too was my (apparently wrong) assumption.

Sorry, ana, that was to soutra.

Why won't your DH drink his prescriptions supplements? I'm just curious. You don't have to answer if you'd rather not.

This business of the right portion sizes for each person... wouldn't that be solved if you put the food in dishes in the centre of the table and let people help themselves to what and how much they wanted rather than giving a plateful? I mean, just letting them decide how much they want? How would anyone else know how much someone else wants to eat at any particular time?

He'll occasionally drink one, then doesn't for a few days. I remind him, but then he says it's too late in the day, or too early...he just forgets, I think.

I'm afraid I thought it sounded very judgemental and "take it or leave it."
I may do moan but I also realise DH has his limitations and I know think his back would stand up to prolonged food prep/cooking, stirring etc and he tires very easily. Hash browns done in the oven, a small tin of tomatoes heated up, grilled bacon and scrambled or fried eggs are his limit. I can live with that - no poin tin being intransigent! And in any case I wouldn't be happy about fried food at any other time of the day.
I suppose I was just having a down day and he wasn't feeling great either - an unfortunate coincidence.

"know think???" One of those is definitely superfluous and it should have read wouldn't stand up etc- oh for an edit button!

Ana DH was prescribed those drinks too. He would have forgotten about them but I used to mix them up and hand them to him.

Hmm...not sure that would work, Elegran! He wants to be in control, and that's fair enough. I will try harder to make it easier for him to accept that he has to drink them, though. Thank you

DH had those drinks after his transplant when his weight had dropped to about 7 1/2 st (5'10") He hated them and they would sit on his table in hospital while he tried to pretend they didn't exist!! I would try to tempt his appetite with tasty little morsels from M&S and he just wasn't interested. I can understand your DH's resistance but wish there was a better way that didn't involve you!

My husband wouldn`t drink the supplement drinks either, said they made him feel sick, in the end I stopped trying to make him have them.

soutra You do have a heck of a lot to contend with his poor health. Don't wear yourself out, you cannot force him to eat what he does not want to.

I know if I had to try persuading my DH he was not eating properly he would go off on one, complain he was being patronised and do the opposite of what was suggested.

It is indeed soul destroying to cook for someone who is unappreciative or takes it for granted that it is you who will do the cooking.

You do need to look after yourself, if he is determined to eat badly and is competent to make that decision there is nothing you can do.

Soutra glad you got it sorted.

"It is indeed soul destroying to cook for someone who is unappreciative or takes it for granted that it is you who will do the cooking. "

Hear hear!!!

My dear cousin who is a wonderful cook has to suffer being undermined by her DH who, without fail will find something to moan about re his meal! I know how much this upsets her especially as he is an ungrateful sod who can't boil an egg!

I hate to show off [innocent] but my DH is so grateful for anything that I put in front of him. As soon as it's on the table it's heads down and no talking, till the plates are cleared. Both of us.

I can understand if there are health difficulties. That must be awful, and must need a lot of careful handling. But in good health, what's not to like about a cooked meal that someone has prepared?

I think we are quite lucky, reading some of the threads on here.