Support for family members cut out of loved ones lives 4

Morning girls
It's going to be a lovely day, so taking my D&baby down to the arches (overlooking the sea) for lunch :-) :-)

Did you see that program on channel 5 last night about cults? That's how I feel about my EstD, that she's been taken over by the G's cult! (Surname of GD stepfamily) The phycologists specialising in cults said that eventually they wake up and see the light, the true situation they are in. The two ladies that were sucked into a cult and eventually got out, one lossing £700,000 (sold 3houses) didn't actually say how long they were brainwashed for, but it was quite a few years! I am going to try to find the mother of an 18yr old, that was sucked into a cult that taught to hate your mother & to cut yourself off from all your family!

Danika's adorable Celebgran little wonder you're so smitten with her, I would be too.

Yes Yogagirl I did watch it and the number of similarities are rather disturbing aren't they. DH went on line and found the web site for the cult that's got its claws into that poor ladies son. Very professional looking and the content very scary.

It's bad enough isn't it when your s.i.l. or d.i.l. come between you and your child but total strangers[angy]. With no personal axe to grind what possible pleasure can they derive from breaking up and destroying families. Your ED's had her husband's entire family to assist with her brainwashing, our idiotic son's had only the thing he married and has still fallen for it. I'm not holding my breath that the scales will fall from his eyes and he'll one day see her for what she really is. Trouble with that scenario is if it ever happens with any of our children, they'll also have to face up to their terrible treatment of us wont they.

Hope you had a lovely lunch with your DD and GD Yogagirl. We've friends coming for a BBQ tomorrow so I really need to get my cake baked and cheese cake made instead of sitting here cuddling my dear little puppy and surfing the net, well GN anyway. Just thought if I said I was surfing the net I'd sound more computer literate than I actually am.

Did it work???

Have a lovely Friday everyone. Here's somethat I'm going to get on with now,and to get the weekend off to a good start.

BBQ sounds good smiless shame you not closer!

Thanks for pm and yes you right will answer shortly.

Yes Danika is a sweetie it enriches our lives.

He mum and dad are lovley too !

We went to a suprise 60th last night it was great our friends daughter organised it, was little drive and we not been to her she before t g for sat nav! His little grandkids were there little girl same age as Mollie. I was ok she was so cute and confident, couldn't help wonder what my little one is like! I must be healing as it didn't spoil evening at all.

Happy Sunday all, hope you enjoyed day with nd and babe yogagirl give her a cuddle from me.

We out lunch with friends again yippee no cooking.

Was so hot yesterday didn't feel great headacy etc.

Bit cooler today funny am ok with heat when on holiday!

Forgot say our friend with us last night!

He must been so proud of his daughter it was such lovely buffet and her and partner looked after us so well.

Breaking news! My ND just phoned me and said "guess who I've been receiving nice emails from?" I said "your brother?" that's my estS that also cut off his sister (my ND) No! it was my EstD!! A year or two ago her name would have been the first on my lips, so just goes to show how much time has gone by. I said to my ND keep the emails going, even if there's a gap of a few weeks, at least then the door is open and we will get some news. I don't know where my EstD lives anymore, although it is in the same area, 5mins from me, but my Son, I've no idea whether he is still living in London or if he is in Europe now. Strange, I dreamt about my Son last night!

Goodness, what a surprise Yogagirl, may be this is a little glimmer of light. If nothing else, it may enable you to find out how your ED and grand children are doing and I dare not say where it could lead eventually in case I jinx it, but you know what I'm thinkingbecause it's news that deserves some kind of celebration.

Here goes again...last post didn't show!
Just got back from my ND, another email from her sister (my EstD) but this time it was just slating me, all full of false memories, put there by her nasty husband, so as I have always said we won't get her back till she is no longer with nasty & his mother :'( He even swapped himself with me, saying that when they had a huge argument, where this whole thing began, my EstD ran out with the babies in the buggy, it then started to torrential rain, she phoned him to pick her up and he refused, I was away on holiday with my ND, she is now saying it was me that refused to pick her up! It was him, I was in another county!

Morning all
I just felt I was beginning to cope, even bought a yoga magazine to read, really enjoyed it and thought about renewing my subscriptions again, did have 3, but cancelled them last Xmas, after having them for about 14yrs, as I wasn't reading them, spending all my time and thoughts on this estrangement nightmare! Now it's reared it's ugly head again, didn't sleep well again last night, composing emails (in my head) to my estD trying to lift the fog from her brain and make her realise she has false memories, put in her head by her nasty husband & his mother. They have destroyed my once lovely D, she told my ND in one of the emails that she is still really depressed, but this can't be p.n.d as the C are now in school. My ND emailed back and pointed out that she never had depression with Laila, her first child whilst she was living with me, she was really happy before and after the birth. The depression began shortly after she moved out of mine and in with her future husband, where he slowly but surely set about cutting me and then the rest of my D family out of her and my beloved GC !lives. ( He is not the father of her first born, my first GC)

Dear Yogagirl I'm so sorrythat your ED is using her contact with your ND to lie about you and criticise you again. It's so hard to let go but in accepting that they've gone and having no contact, whether directly or as in your case indirectly, seems to be the only way of protecting ourselves from any further pain.

Your ED obviously can't let it go or she wouldn't be emailing these things to her sister, our ES doesn't seem to be able to either, he walked past our house again on Sunday with our grandchild who I didn't see as he was obscured by our gate. But thanks son because you actually did me a favour. I saw nothing in you that I liked or recognised, nothing that would encourage me to make an attempt to contact you. Knowing that you can continue to be so cruel and vindictive when we do nothing but get on with our lives without trying to rub your nose in it, just leaves me cold.

We've spent so long, too long trying to understand how he could allow the ridiculous false memories he now swears are true, to have been implanted. It was a fruitless exercise and just increased our own sense of despair.

I've lost count of the number of emails to him I've composed in my head, always knowing that to send any of them would just be a complete waste of time.

Don't feel as if you've just begun to cope Yogagirl, you've been coping since day one and now have so much that's good to focus on. All you can do is hope and pray that one day the fog will clear, the scales will from her eyes and she'll be able to see how things really are and how they really were. All the time she's with him and his family you'll never be able to get through to her no matter how hard you try. It's the same for us too, as long he's married to her. 'There's none so blind as those who cannot see' and they don't come any blinder than our children that's for sure.for you.

Yogagirl sorry bit late coming in on this as we have had hectic week with Steve and family. Wow was hectic but really lovely and we had little Danika round tuesday also had 9 hear and fed them all, cooked Monday for Steve and family and yesterday went to zoo beyond tired really!

Is hard as rakes all the hurt up yogagirl can totally relate to that.
Not sure any point in you n d having these emails if they not kind about you.

Strange is t it that Tor is just the same her memories are not of the good things and are so different to mine!

Let her go to hell she may be my daughter but has tried to destroy me and for that I could never ever trust her again.

We have to move on with the ones who do love us but in my opinion it will always hurt.

Chin up and focus on that lovely baby yogagirl
Smileless here's some and for both of you x

Bit dark but my lovely so and partner
Also try find one of all of them

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201508/medium-915364-image.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201508/medium-35971-image.jpg

Here goes only thing we can do yogagirl and smileless is enjoy what we have, accept what we can't change and. Pray for peace of mind and a kind of reunion One Day

Thank you smileless for you too
My ND received more emails from estD, her est sister, they got nastier and nastier and of course turned the tables on my ND and really slating me again. we can only surmise that she (estD) started off the emails (pleasant ones) and then he took over or started shouting propaganda against us, fogging her brain again. I said to my ND that there is no way we will reconnect with her whilst she is with him! My estD was really bigging his mother up against me and this women has done/said some terrible things against my D, when this all began and she & her son(D hubby) wanted, and did get her out of their family home (D& his) and cut her off from her two babies, till the hate jumped from my D to me! So my ND has said if she gets any more she will not reply.
I've been very busy this week, doing my classes & a fellow yoga teachers, last one today, back to normal tomorrow. Going to a nice 'do' tomorrow night with friends, so looking forward to that. Seeing my nice D later, mother & baby doing well now and seem fully recovered from the traumatic birth, Thank God.
Lovely pictures Celebgran so nice to hear you had an enjoyable visit from your nice Son Steve. It's ridiculous that I am worrying about my EstD with these false memories! She said something in one as if I had estranged myself from them! also that I love my 'mutt' (little dog) more than my GC! Would really like to see the emails for myself, as have only been read them by ND.
Have a nice weekend everyone

My ND came over for lunch yesterday, we were going out for a first walk with baby in pram, but unfortunately the weather changed so we just stayed in chatting for 6hrs! ND re-read emails from EstD, we now think 'he' took over after the nice ones about babies, as they were not as my D would 'talk' and were full of nonsense! Although they were horrible, there was really nothing there, saying things like I corrected table manners & that one Sunday when asked to pick ND up from station, I said "no" as I'd had a couple of glasses of wine, so I said get a taxi & I'll pay, the taxis being right outside the station! So really, if that's all they have on me!
Hope you are all OK, I see the Sun is coming out to play

Yogagirl not worth thinking about stuff they try rake up don't spoil a minute of that special time with your little Grandaughter!

Weather been rubbish but thanks we did have great time with Steve and family yes they are takng of a little one but when?! I think his partner is ore interested in the 2 she got but here's hoping!

Was good we managed get the boys to beach then bowling and Tor godparents came too mmmm they let Steve pain£40 for 2 bowling lanes, we were t amused ! Seems more money people have meaner they get, Steve is bit too generous hence his finances, we tried pay for all we could to help
Them as they stayed in hotel we did the meals.

What you up to smileless this iffy weather bank holiday is if BBQ ?

Enjoy all whatever x

You took the words out of my mouth Celebgran, so to speak. I was going to say the same thing to Yogagirl. I'm so pleased that your ED's emails haven't upset you.

You shouldn't concern your self any more with what she says, writes or thinks about you Yogagirl it's all BS and you have your lovely daughter and grand daughter to love and enjoy so concentrate on them. We know they come out with all of this rubbish to try and justify their unjustifiable behaviour, so we shouldn't waste any more of our time worrying about it. Let them get on with it.

Well the weather isn't too bad and yes, we are having a BBQ Celebgran how did you guess? Goodness, I hope I'm not becoming terribly predictable. Had a good work out at the gym this morning and I'm watching a Betty Davies film at the moment. It's funny how things come back to haunt you when you're least expecting it. I'd forgotten that in this film she wears such a lovely dress that I'd thought about seeing if I could have a similar design made for ES's wedding. You'd think that memory would upset me but it hasn't, I'm pleased to say. Perhaps that's because I'm relieved I didn't spend all the money it probably would have cost.

Glad you had a great time with Steve and his family Celebgran. Have a good weekend every one.thought we could do with a little extra as it's a bank holiday.

Morning girls
Had a great night out with my friends last night, two yoga classes this morning and then tomorrow free all day! I really need a rest, over done it this week with non stop classes, I'm getting older! Looking after baby this evening as D &fiancée going for a nice meal out together :-)
Thank you for your wise words C&S, but can't get the bad things out of my head, didn't sleep well the 3nights afterwards, she said she never liked my visiting & I made a mess! It must be him writing this rubbish as I know that's not true, he has taken over her mind, I'm worried for her! Last night a young man was dancing rock & rollish with (what looked like his mum) reminded me of when I would dance R&R with my Son :'( miss him :'( Almost 3yrs now,can't believe it! :'(
Enjoy your BBQ smileless you may need a big umbrella though ;-)
Celebgran hope you get your wish very soon, re grandbaby :-) and nice to near you had a good day with your stepGC.
Have a nice Sunday all

Didn't need a brolly, it was a lovely evening so nice that we sat outside for most of it. It was lovely andearly evening, well they do say the sun shines on the righteous don't they.

The friends who joined us have been a tower of strength over the last almost 3 years. Seen as both at our very worst. You really do discover who your true friends are when tragedy strikes. Dear C was so pleased to see us laughing and back to our old selves again that she cried, made me cry too even DH and J had moist eyes; it was really quite moving.

None of the accusations our EC make are true, which makes it all the more hurtful. Even if there were any truth in the crap our ES's come out with, it still wouldn't justify him taking away our only GC and in a few months time depriving us of his second child.

DH and I were playing 80's music the other evening and I was reminded of when ES and I used to dance. We both loved MJ and he once did a brilliant rendition of 'Billy Jean' at a friends' son's wedding reception. It was so good that everyone else stopped dancing to watch him.

Happy days.

Morning
Glad you had a lovely time with your BBQ & friends smileless Yes I think we have all got to the point where we can have some enjoyment. But the sadness is always lurking in the background :'(
I penned my last letter ever to my estD, printed it twice, but now have a little more to add, so third time lucky. Will put a copy in GC memory bag. I've said that it's to try and lift the fog from her brain, to try and make her remember the loving, good times we had together. Jack will be starting school this term, and that's it, the wonderful time from birth to school is the magical time between GP & GC, that is now all gone, never to be recaptured, can never turn back the clock :'( :'(
You wrote a last letter to your EstD too Celebgran I think it's a final closure (if there can be a final in this) I've no idea when or where to send it though, don't know if my emails are blocked and if not, would 'he' get to it first and destroy it. It's a very emotional letter from mother to once so precious a daughter :'(

Glad bbq went went well smileless good have friends who understand and care
I am on kindle tablet hmmm broke charger on iPad so waiting for new one arrive knocked it off table��
Yogagirl don't think.anything is final wrote to Tor in-laws and her in April

@after son knocked us,back ref going see her poor Graham been upset and wanted send simple card a friend in same boat suggested he did it , posted Monday simply said love you miss you can you consider reconciling.
I.anxious about head pains had them so long got antibiotics Fri told go back this Fri if no better thinks Is sinus hope so �� just worried could be sinister all these years of Bellaire our health-care at chest pain clinic next week still.so breathless.

Worse than iPad meant all years of hell with estrangement

Lol Celebgran takes time to get used to a new android Think your aliments could be down to this estrangement hell we are in. I really thought I had a brain tumour, cancer, heart probe etc, but all down to grieve! Never went to the docs before all this. People do die of a broken heart, that's is what was put on the death certificate of the mother of that pretty bunny girl that was murdered, my sister was a bunny girl at the same time that this happened. Unless I get knocked down by a bus or the like, that's what I want on mine 'Died of a broken heart' and it would be true :'(
Had my day all planned yesterday, but nothing went to plan! Just getting ready to go to Tesco in the morning when I got a call to do some emergency cover, so did that and was driving to Tesco, when I got a call from my ND, she had locked herself & baby out, car keys indoors too! So I went and rescued them and although I had keys to her house, they ended back at mine for the afternoon, more cuddles with baby :-) She is becoming more aware now, and I got some lovely smiles :-) :-) Ended up going to Tesco after my evening class and ended up getting back at midnight, road works didn't help! So all the important emails etc that I simply had to get done that day, went out with the baby water (so to speak) ...stop waffling!
I will finish my EstD's last letter this afternoon, tried to keep it to one page but now hoping to keep it to three
One for each year then, can't believe it's been three long years, tragic! I just can't see it ending, ever :'(
Have a nice day everyone

Yogagirl has a point Celebgran, your ailments could well be a physical manifestation of the emotional turmoil you've been subjected too for so long now.

I don't think I'll die of a broken heart, I thought I would in the early days and there were periods when doing so seemed preferable to trying to carry on but I don't feel that way any more. Like you Yogagirl it's been almost 3 years, 3 years on the 30.9 to be precise and I still can't believe it's happened.

I saw our GC with her this morning and on my way back from the gym with the child minder. To continue to live so close to us, knowing that we're going to get these glimpses, with of course our ES walking past our house with our little GC is above and beyond cruel. Perhaps that's why my heart is hardening toward him.

I no longer think about writing a final letter to him. I do think about our final conversation and it wouldn't be all love and hugs, there could well be no love and hugs at all. I would love to be able to tell him what I think of what he's done to us; I think that's the only way I'll ever have closure, but I'll never do so in a letter, only face to face.

It's not because I'm full of anger, it's not because I don't love him anymore. I'm his mother and there will always be love there; I think it's because it's over. What we had was wonderful, special and I'll treasure the memories of those times until the end of my days but it's gone now and it wont be coming back.

I still feelsometimes, but not to the extent I used too and it's such a relief not to feel as if I'm carrying that huge burden of pain around with me any more.

Well I must say I've had days when things haven't gone to plan but not to the extent of yours Yogagirl. Hope you've recovered and today's gone better for you. Will you be sending your ED the letter or is it just to put in your GC's memory bag?

Celebgran, I hope Gra gets a reply from your ED. Our DS has in the past put pressure on us to send emails, cards etc to his brother but we've only ever done so in response to emails he's sent us and sadly they've always been unpleasant ones; not ours, his.

Yes cruel, yes the end smileless it can never go back as it was now!
My EstD & I were so close, we were telepathic on lots of occasions! I really think 'he'wrote the nasty emails to my ND,after the nice baby ones, they were so ridiculous, so untrue but still all about nothing! I do intend sending the letter, only trouble is it's getting bigger and bigger I have said "With a heavy heart, I let you go, my baby daughter, but I will not let L&J go, they had no part in all this, my arms will remain open to be filled with them when they are old enough to come to me on their own" I also said "I fear a knock on the door by the police, to say you have been murdered by your husband;by his hand or your own, it would be the same to me, so if those black thoughts overwhelm you, walk out of the darkness and back into the light of your mother & sister's love, and we will help you, as we always did and would like to again"

Wow I had letter printed in mail, got ahead of the article eh yogagirl!