Support for family members cut out of loved ones lives 4

Good luck with your bladder scan Celebgran, that will be the sweetest wee you have after the scan lol
Oh, so the D did have contact with her mother then, didn't say that in the article I read, I'll have to find the full story.
Off to Hyde Hall soon, such a shame that dogs are not allowed

Yes it is they were at Sandringham flower show but not I. Castle or grounds

Went well lovely girl and kidneys and bladder fine, she also scanned aorta so had mot! Thanks yogagirl.

Hope you had lovely day smileless too

Oh how the mighty are fallen nearly 3 years ago, I became a nana for the first time, and over the past 3 years. I have enjoyed a wonderful relationship with my GD. I didn't like this site at first as I felt so many people were angry and bitter - and now I know why. I haven't seen my GD for a few months - although my DD tells me that's my fault and due to my lack of "effort". What a learning curve this has been. I thought being a GP meant you could give unconditional love and have fun times. What no one warned me about (and I doubt I would have listened anyway), is that my love for my GD made me vulnerable to manipulation. My DD has become a tyrant with endless demands. To cut the long saga brief - I decided that enough was enough, and I would like to be treated with some respect and consideration. The end result is that I am now an outcast from her family unit, and excluded from her life until I seemingly learn the error of my ways. Although it hurts, I feel I have regained my self respect. I haven't been referred to as "demented" for 2 whole months. I'm not sure what the purpose of my post is - but perhaps to understand why it came to this.

Hello NewNan welcome
We on here are not bitter & angry, the emotion we have is called grieving, what we are suffering is a living bereavement and our hearts are broken and full of sorrow. Deep sadness of being cut out of the lives of our beloveds, in my case my baby daughter, (the youngest always stays the baby, even when they've grown) my precious GD that I had a special bond with, as she & her mum ,my EstD, lived with me before 'he' came along & my precious GS and my S :'( :'( :'( :'(
No room for bitterness or angry, just full up with the soul destroying grieving for the living, my beautiful and much loved family, that live just 5mins away, stolen by evil.
Do you realise that number is the devils number?

I would just like to add; that when I refer to my previous s.i.L as 'he', I had no problem with him nor did I know he had a problem with me, till the day he throw his fist at me and told me to "F* Off" on Friday 16th November 2012, when I went round to check on my D&GC after no reply from my txts &pH calls, so I was therefore very worried that something was wrong & they maybe needed help.
I've added this as NewNan post has made me realise that we are negatively judged by some on here.

I think some. Of us do feel anger but try. It to feel bitter if has dealt us a severe blow in yogagirl and. He case we lost precious daughter and grandchildren.

The anger comes from the betrayal I guess In My case you just don't expect it from a much loved daughter.

Welcome newnanna and do hope you can sort your differences with your daughter.

Sadly our situations are very common now. No one is in position to judge anyone else we just try and support each other.

Hello ladies. Sorry I wasn't on to wish you well with your scan Celebgran but I've had my dearest friend staying with me this week so have been very busy. SOOO pleased all is well. Goodness, there's no way I could go that long without doing a pee. My bladder is hopeless to the point that I've even considered those pads for the problem but no, as long as I'm fit enough to make a quick dash I can't possibly need them, can I?.

It was good to read your post Newnana but sad to learn of your current situation with your daughter. I wanted to thank you for sharing in such an open and honest way. Some on this thread, especially when we had a thread on AIBU have been harshly judged and criticised and then berated if we'd responded by saying that unless you've been in this position you cannot possibly understand how devastating it is.

There is anger and bitterness in my heart, I don't deny it. In the beginning they had an equal share along with grief, sadness and a pain so raw and intense that no words could ever have described it. Nearly 3 years in and all remain, only bitterness seems to have diminished to a certain extent and thankfully some happiness has returned.

You expressed it so well Yogagirl. This is a living bereavement and with bereavement comes grief and with grief anger. Anger is a natural part of the grieving process and if it's natural to feel anger at a loved one
who has left you in death, of course it's natural and understandable to feel anger toward your own child who after a life time of love and nurturing, abandons you and if that isn't bad enough, tells lies to try to justify the unjustifiable.

We all have to find our own way of coping and for me, anger can be a good thing. When I allow my pain and sorrow to take a hold I can barely function. I don't want to do anything or see anyone. All I want to do is sleep and when I'm not sleeping all I seem to be able to do is cry.

"All who live should rage. People who are angry get up in the morning, people who are sad sometimes do not" Alice Jolly

Have a great weekend everyone. Is it tomorrow that you look after your little GD Yogagirl? Have a wonderful time and do try and stay away from the baby sick.

just one for you Celebgran and happy Friday.

Thanks smiless forgot say Monika bought yummy cake with her today !
Here is slice [cake]

Yes I liked that saying from sat mail? It is true really sometimes I am so sad that I just have to sleep and have chocolate also as sleep brings respite from the pain.

On cheerful note we have found such strong friendship bonds on this thread so some good has come from evil.

Off look at pics we took.

Morning girls
Beautiful day! No work for me today, just baby sitting, did I say just Need to take my little Lilly for a walk iin the park before my ND arrives with baby.
It was my ND birthday on Wednesday, so we went out for a posh 'afternoon tea' with champagne! Got some lovely pics, baby too! :-)
Must dash ND just phoned, coming over soon, so need to take Lilly for her walkies, back on later.........

Just thinking about you Yogagirl looking after that lovely little girl and all to yourself too.

Enjoy, enjoy. Can't help feeling a little bitbut couldn't be happier for you either.

Yes we have found some wonderful and enduring friendships here Celebgran, sharing our pain and also sharing in one another's joy, like Yogagirl's but keep any baby sick to yourself Yogagirl, there's no need to share that too.

Hi hope day gone. Well and yes tiny bit of but soo pleased and happy for you yogagirl marvellous one of us got some real joy to take sting out of estrangement.

We been to beach all day and was gorgeous took Rosie packed picnic so relaxing once we got there on sand, love hearing waves I even swam! Not quite Barbados but frinton on sea is good beach !

Friends round this evening not for dinner just few eats glad or 2 of wine.

Enjoy rest weekend all xxx

Morning girls
Well had a nice day with baby. I imagained coming back on here for a 'chat', getting some emàils & other such things done, but no! Just spent my whole day cuddling & watching out for baby Clara, frightened that a fly may land on her. When I was making my lunch in the kitchen, I kept popping back to make sure she was OK So eventually gave up thinking about doing something whilst she slept and thought to just eenjoy my day with her without distractions. The best bit was feeding her, the little noises of satisfaction whilst she drank, and then changing her into her party outfit to take her up to the wedding reception in the evening, so funny. I felt so aware of her in the car as I drove, such a precious little buddle to keep safe, felt like that all day too.
I am aware of your feelings Celebgran & smileless and hope I am not upsetting you, talking about baby, I hope one day it will be you too, talking about your new grandbaby from your nice Son.
You may think that having a new grandbaby lessons the pain of lossing my other two, but it doesn't! I should have been going to bed & waking up thinking of beautiful Clara, but still the grief remains! Three lost years, never to be recaptured, everything is always tinged with sadness. Yes immense joy at my new grandbaby, so great happiness there, but it also hi-lights the marching of time, how our lives are moving on, without them in it :'(

Can I say immediately you are not upsetting me at all yogagirl.

I also understand and feel for you that is tinged with sadness try v hard just to focus on the marvellous joy Little one is bringing you.

I adore my great niece Danika as you know and her mum I ca. Assure you it helps so much watching her grow up. However I still after 6 years and 5 months feel that sick sadness and yearning for my own daughter and little ones guess have accepted always will

Even my lovely son Says move on! Not an option when you grieve for a child still alive.

Try our very best though we now have only one photo of mollie and us on display.

So glad day went well. I would have been just the same checking. All time what an honour your nd trusts you my daughter did t sadly.

Thank you Celebgran I was afraid you would think me insensitive, or that I was being so, unwittingly.
I went to the park today, sat and had a coffee and a little girl with her nannie, sat on the next table, she was soooo sweet! She made me think of my Laila. The little girl asked me my name (usually they ask for my little dogs) so it was a surprise she asked for mine :-) Her name was Lola and she was just 4yrs old, so cute & chattie, wasn't your GD Celebgran was it? I know that's her name too.

It's just lovely to read about your little grand daughter Yogagirl having shared so much sadness and heartache over more than 2 years, I would be upset if you thought you couldn't share your joy. I can just imagine you hovering over herI would have been exactly the same.

No mention of baby skick is that because there wasn't any or you just managed to avoid it? I wonder if it makes the loss of the ones you can't see that little bit harder. It's great though that you can now be granny to little Carla and that Celebgran gets so much pleasure from seeing Danika.

DH took part in a bowls tournament last week and finished the week off yesterday in style by becoming the new singles champion. His large trophy is being proudly shown off in the living room and I must say it looks a lot better now I've cleaned it then when he was presented with it. Wouldn't you think it would have been properly cleaned and polished before the presentation or is that just my marginal OCD talking.

When I look back to when I first posted on AIBU, I can see how we've all made some headway. It isn't easy and I don't suppose it ever will be, we will always grieve for our EC I'm sure, but can and I think we have to some extent, moved on.

There's a great plaque in the gym I go too "Take pride in how far you've come and have faith in how far you can go". So dear friends, on wards and upwards.

Aagh yogagirl Lola is my youngest Grandaughter but she is only about 2 just we do t know her exact date of birth

Mollie is 7 and Daisy is 4 I think! Certain about mollie but were never told about other 2.

Have no worried yogagirl smileless
It it better we would be upset not to near all about little ks it Carla ?

Sorry if got name wrong.

Sometimes little ones at mum and baby swim break my heart they so cute and I think of my 3 Not allowed to see some days hurts more than others doesn't it,

We only been beach again. Did yummy picnic 2 mini pork pies some
Pulled pork thingys, fresh salad, coleslaw and potatoe salad delicious.
Was cooler today so we did t swim.

Went optician yet again first think they Improved glasses been 4 times since new. Nose pieces fitted made both pairs slip!

Also went weight management going try again! same weight relief but got get some. Off fish chips from marks tonight in oven and fresh veg.

X

Love reading your posts everyone and wish I could wave a wand and put things right for you all, you are all extremely positive . Yogagirls was joyful to read, you have to make the most of those special moments and a small baby to cuddle again must be lovely. I find I cannot pass a pram now without peeking in and saying how lovely the baby is. Just lately I have felt it all too much to bear on my own. I know there are people a lot worse off than me, but my daughter and family will never want me in their lives again. They have a very privilidged lifestyle and I do not fit in with their social life, she has made it clear that she no longer likes me and hold me that when she does see me for the odd half hour every 3/4 months that it us out of duty, that now I am old it is not her responsibility. Of course I told her that she mustn't do what she doesn't want to and sorry she feels like that but that I would ring her every month to see how she is, which I do, but she is very cold to me, it has gone on so long and every effort I make to talk about it is met with a tirade of abuse which just ends up with me crying. So I just keep it light now and only ask how they are. Sorry to off load.

luçkylegs Thank you for your kind words and sharing your story with us. Such a sad, awful story, my heart cried for you, it really did. I just cannot understand how cruel & heartless our D/S can be to their good kind gentle mothers, that we all are.
We have loved, cared and provided for them, then when it's time for us to get a !little back in the shape of getting joy and love from our GC, they decide 'no thanks, can't be bothered with mother anymore' and out with the rubbish we go!
I, on the other hand, loved to see my m&D with my C, to see the love between them all was magical, my EstD was part of that and really loved her nannie & granddad, so knows what this special love is all about, she helped me care for my mum when she was in the last stages of dementia and cried buckets at both their funerals, so how come the cruel change in personality (?)
Stay on here with us luckylegs and we will help and support you

Morning Celebgran &smileless
Thank you for your kind words too, no baby sick! she was a really good girl for nannie :-)
The novelty of typing on this virtual keyboard has gone, the space bar is so close to the exit button, I keep lossing my post and the faces are difficult too. I even dreamt of typing on a real keyboard last night, that's how bad it is! On the other hand my desk top takes ages to fire up and this little Hudle is instant and very quick to change from site to site.
My ND is having her hair hi-lighted by my neighbours D, they are both mobile hairdressers, but I have to go and collect my D this morning, to bring her here as she cannot drive for 6 weeks due to her C section & ruptured utrus. So I may get sicked on yet
Well done to your hubby smileless
You look like you had a lovely couple of days on the beach Celebgran & Danika is smashing as your new profile picture You should come on FB smileless then you would see all our pictures too.

Thanks yogagirl she was soooo cute helping Gra water plants!

Yes smileless join us !
Meanwhile here is Danika

Hope your nd will be ok after 6. Weeks yogagirl she certainly went through it giving birth.

Saw orthapedic chap today actually the consultant not registrar and he was so kind you ladies remember my foot trouble most last year only cleared after painful lipotripsy well he said not problem if flares up again ring his secretary and get more treatment mmm reckon be more difficult than that.

Got sept 9th for chest clinic as did not want mess up week Our son comes down with family.

Good luck with sick free baby sitting yogagirl
Hope your week going well smileless

So sorry lucky legs must be tired meant to say your daughter so unkind it seems so cruel and no need for it.

Welcome anyway and yes we try keep positive here.

Forgetful or what very well done to smileless husband bowls champion

What a little cutie Danika, not heard that name before, she seems very busy.

Thanks lucky legs yes she was busy watering for us!
Wet here today in frinton!