Support for family members cut out of loved ones lives 4

We skyped our son this afternoon and he told us she's pregnant again. I still can't believe it, they were so adamant he would be the one and only. She was 'ill' through out the pregnancy and 'ill' for a year following the birth.

It drove him to distraction, he had to do everything, with of course a lot of practical and emotional support from me. Neither of them could go through that again.

So the news, which once and should again have brought us such joy is another knife in our hearts. Another grandchild we wont be allowed to see or speak too.

He walked passed our house yesterday with our little grand son. I wonder if in 8 months time he'll up the pain level and walk passed with our grandson and the new baby.

Omg smileless so don't know what to say but can Feel the pain
And big hugs.

We must sort our meet up.

At least he let you skype you?!

Oh smileless I glanced at your last post and thought you were saying your NS was giving you a new grandbaby, thought I'd missed the announcement! as I had to go back to previous posts to catch up. Oh dear, as Celebgran said, what can one say; congratulations & commiserations! My EstD has said no more babies, and I did dread hearing that she was expecting again, but now I wouldn't feel anything, especially as it would be another [removed by MNHQ] baby!

On the other forum they did a survey and most of the estranged C were daughters! I find that amazing, most in their 20s and there were a high no. involved in the survey!

Glad to hear you sorted out R Celebgran the vets bills are ridiculous!

I went to a wedding reception Saturday night, it was two of my yoga students that meet in my class and went on to marry! So lovely

I thought that at first yogagirl!
Hope you ok smileless have sent you pm.

Yogagirl Rosie is is fighting form barking as we speak.

Have spent the afternoon with an old school friend who now lives In Hong Kong amazing as we not met for over 40 years and we chatted away non Stop! Her parents live in frinton and she has flown over to spend time with them. It was great!

Hope everyone ok especially smileless if not a couple of may help!

Bless you Yogagirl, if only that had been the case. I know that you and Celebgran and many others have had the awful experience of finding out that another grandchild is on the way; another grandchild you'll never know.

What makes it particularly horrible for us of course is that we'll see them parading around the village when s/he is born, rubbing salt in to the fresh wound they'll have created.

After all that nastiness the other week, when we walked passed their house and I spoke to our GC because he happened to be outside with ES, I looked up on Saturday afternoon and there was my ES walking passed our house with our GC. Had I been outside I'd have spoken to my GC because I'm never going to ignore him, and bearing in mind he knows I would and wants us to 'JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE' which was what he shouted at us while waving his little fist in the air, one does have to wonder exactly what he does want. Perhaps he doesn't know because she hadn't told him before he left the house.

Thanks for theCelebgran we resisted the temptation last night and tonight as we had rather a lot on Sunday, so at least after the shock we managed to have a giggle, don't know what we were giggling about though so I'll save yours for tomorrow.

Should have gone to the gym today but didn't so when I 'phoned to let them know they asked me why I wasn't going so I said 'family crisis'; never realised such terrible goings on could be summed up in only 2 words; it was either that or 'well long have you got', I suppose I could have told them to mind their own business, but they're too nice for that.

I'm going to get a 'KitKat cone' out of the freezer now. It will be nice while it lasts, wont last very long and wont do me any good in the long run but I'll enjoy it while I can. Oooh just like my relationship with ES

Morning girls
What a beautiful day! Im off to the beach, make the most it Im on my new keyboard&think I must have turned something off when I connected,as no spellcheck or word prediction& same as you Smileless keys not responding, need to get used to it, it doesn't like the 'e'
& Smileless Hope you enjoyed your KitKat , you should have gone to the gym,it would have made you feel better.
I'm going to the family Wedding this Saturday, I can't imagine my EstD being there, but if she was and had my precious GC with her, like you Smileless I would definately speak to them and I would also tell them who I am!
Glad to hear Rosie is 'barking' fit again Celebgran, they are a worry, had my friend on the phone this mornng in tears, as her dog is very unwell and is to have an exploitive op to try to find out whats wrong with her, only a young dog
Need to go and sort this keyboard out

I'm just sat here thinking about you at the family Wedding Yogagirl, hoping all is going well and that you are relaxed and enjoying yourself. Is your ED there I wonder, I'd be very surprised to find out she was; you'll have to bring us all up to speed as soon as you can.

Hope you had a good time at the beach, we've had thethis week but it hasn't been warm enough to do much outside. It must have been a lot warmer where you are Yogagirl, either that or you're made of sterner stuff than me, and I'm just a delicate little wallflower.

Should be on the plane this time next week heading for Florida. Things have settled down again now. The shock of the pregnancy has worn off and well, let's face it, nothings really changed has it. In an odd kind of way it seems to have strengthened our resolve to let go and move on.

Being knocked for 6 because of news of what's happening in the life of our ES, has made us realise how vulnerable we're allowing ourselves to be. I'm grateful that we've been making progress, taking two steps forward and one step is progress indeed but I want us to stop taking those backward steps, like we've done this week and just move forward even if it is one step at a time.

Hope Rosie is fully recovered now Celebgran. Have a good weekend everyone.

Well done for remembering wedding for yogagirl hope that's gone well and no upsets

Well done also smileless for trying accept the painful news of another grandchild you may not know. hope you. Got my pm with our calculations of distance

I am being v lazy today as have bad throat dear husband waiting on me!

Been traumatic week we had great day out wed Norfolk broads reunion with old friend from school tues went v well.

Benn on my mind to write to s I law parents for long while to ask if they aware their son prevented graham from seeing his Grandaughters when our daughter wanted him to etc etc. Sent it tracking delivery so saw that she signed for it 9 20 fri never done that before brilliant service.
Tends be stressful as brings back all hurts glad I have done it though

Meeting friends tonight for drinks hope weekend going well for you all
Smileless not long now how long you away for? Holiday just what you need.

Hello ladies, I was sent a link for a video on you tube called 'My Child Forever'. Now being the technophobe that you've all come to know and love, of course I'm unable to send you the link but you should be able to find it on you tube.

It's very moving, quite lovely to watch and listen to this lady describing her
pain at being estranged from her children so I hope you'll be able to find it and watch, if you can't I'll get DH to put the link on here, he did it for me so I could send it to our son in Aus.

I wanted him to see it because he's always having a go at us for not sending letters, emails, cards etc to his brother and trying to bring about a reconciliation. I don't like to talk about it with him any more because the conversations always get heated; he gets annoyed and frustrated with us and we with him. We've never really felt able to tell him how much what his brother's done hurts us and I thought that seeing the 'My Child Forever' might help him to understand that although we are of course angry, our overriding emotions are pain and heart ache, and the entire thing is made much worse because we live so close.

Well, we skyped him this afternoon and after asking how we're doing he said that as ES's second child is due in December and they know how difficult it's going to be for us, that they would like to invite us for Christmas.

I don't think it's going to be possible as we have a month in Florida coming up, will be there this time next weekand have already booked flights for October for 3 weeks with friends, but it was so nice to be asked, it was all I could do not to cry; I managed not too which was a break through as I've done rather a lot of that this week. I'm going to find out the cost of flights but it's not just the cost, it's DH being away from our business again, I mean it's not somewhere you can go for just a few days or even a week.

Let me know if you find and watch the video and what you think. She suggests all estranged mothers do something at noon on May 10th to show that they're thinking about the children and grand children they've lost. I thought it would be lovely if we all did something too, so let me know that you think.

Hope you're OK Yogagirl and yesterday went well. Thanks for the pm Celebgran, I'll go and read it now. for you all.

Smileless lightbulb moment I thought you skyped your estranged son and he told you about new baby?! Realise now you must meant your nice son I. Oz.?

Stupid me
How lovely of him to invite you for Xmas even if you can't go its great he asked.WOW ALL these holidays you are trying to outdo us !

Rosie posie is full beans and her eyes seem lot better shame about the cost mmmmalready need more eye drops but she worth it of course

You do make me *Celebgran*. I think we will go, still have to break the news to DH. As you are all fully aware, Christmas is a very difficult time and the thought of being just down the road at about the time another GC that we'll never be allowed to know, is due well it just doesn't bare thinking about it.

I can understand DH not wanting to have another month away from the business so I suggested last night that he could come home after 2 weeks and I'd stay on a bit longer. Bless him, I think the thought of me travelling such a long way without him, fills him with dread.

As well as being a technophobe I also have absolutely no sense of direction. For example, a few years ago we were at a wedding reception. There was a small bar and restaurant, it wasn't a large venue. I went to the ladies and DH waited for me but, I hadn't realised there were two doors out of the ladies and exited out of the wrong one result; me not knowing which direction to go in and DH waiting for me to come back through the door I'd entered. So I can understand his concerns as I'll have to change planes at Singapore and I think he might think he'll never see me again.

I'm glad Rosie is full of beans and her eyes are getting better. My poor little dog is under the weather today, he's been sick which isn't like him; bright yellow on a cream carpet; nice one .

Can't wait to find out how your weekend went Yogagirl; hope you managed to have a good time.

Smile less sorry I forget you have doggie poor thing and poor carpet-

Rosie's is i. Licking mania as wore skirt today hate it!

Tomorrow got my foot check with orthapedic chap and our surgery rang and said I have to have review about ear drops I use now and again for earache damn then I between got the client these was ill last time mmmm not terrific day !

Wow smileless oz for Xmas how amazing is that.
It will be fanastic for you.

Come on yogagirl waiting hear so out wedding.

Well been folk dancing tonight was great.

Morning
I'm very busy at mo as getting ready for my Yoga Retreat, lots of prep work!
Celebgran well done on sending letter to outlaws, I did the same, asking them to help, afterwards realised his mother was as much to do with the cut out as nasty s.I.l

Hope you're feeling better smileless how cruel our C are watched the video, yes very sad, a!so watched another with Dr. Phil about a narcissistic mother stopping her C seeing their dying dad, it really shows how a narciss works & how she manipulates her 'victim' in our case D/S. Lovely you will spend Xmas in Oz, it will do you good to go.

Tried to get on here Wednesday but internet down all over UK, were you effected?
Wedding went well, it's on utube!. No surprise visitors thank God! Strange as my EstD,GC,ES, not there, groom's C not there, all of the bride's family not there! Bride had lots of friends & two gorgeous bridesmaids

[Flowers] take care

Good to hear from you Yogagirland to learn that the wedding went well. Your Yoga Retreat's come round quickly as has our jaunt to Florida; we fly on Saturdayand stay over night tomorrow in Manchester. Nice meal, bottle of wine and our holiday will begin.

Well, I don't know if it's just me but every time I come on Gransnet I'm plagued with adverts and seem to spend more time getting rid of them than I do reading posts and posting myself. Is there no way of blocking them? Have intrusive unwanted adverts taken the place of those annoying 'phone calls that invade our privacy which we still get.

Perhaps I should have put that little rant on AIBU.

My poor little dog was attacked by our friends cat yesterdayhis little lower lip was bleeding so I've told my friend that I'm going to take out an ASBO on her cat. Bless him, he didn't understand as he lives with my two cats and they get on really well. He's OK now though which is just as well as he goes on holiday tomorrow too.

Hope little Rosie is still on the mend Celebgran. Now don't worry ladies, you wont be able to miss me as I'll be sure to keep up to date with you all while I'm away and send you plenty of Floridian, andof course.

Smileless we off see our son today just want wish you fantastic holiday and please keep In Touch if you can will miss you is it 3 weeks? Xxx

Glad went well yogagirl no response to letter not suprised but I. Way I am as thought she was at least polite.

Hello girls
I don't get any adverts smileless and yes please to the Florida sun & wine What little dog do you have? Mine is a little Westie love her to bits.
My ND bought me a present today, it was a little plaque that said;
" The only thing better than having you as my Mum, Is my children having you as their Nanny" :'( happy tear
How can we have C so different, one cruel & heartless, the other kind & thoughtful

Well Celebgran at least you tried with the letter to the outlaws, if they are like mine then they will be actively encouraging the estrangement & enjoying being the only GP in the picture

My ex emailed my ND and said the reason ED didn't go to the wedding is because I was invited, funny that, because 4yrs ago, when it was my prev.f.I.L's 80th birthday 'do' (C grandfather) they said they wouldn't go to that as 'he' (C dad, my ex) was going & nasty s.I.l also said if he (C dad) showed up at their wedding he (n.s.I.l) would knock him out!

Bon voyage smileless hope you have a lovely time
extra for you Celebgran as your not going away

Just watched 'unreported world ' about families in Cambodia separated for 40yrs due to the Khmer Rouge genocide, finally reunited; mother's seeing their C after all those years! I cried buckets

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

OMG does this Woman never give up����������

Does anyone know where the spam button or maybe dustbin button would be more appropriate, for Joan2 limp scam

Reported for writing utter bog rot

Wow some strange posts deleted etc?! What's all that about

Yogagirl not sure deserve wine as been away this weekend to our lovely sons it was amazing . Long journey sadly dear husband did his back In Saturday happens now and again, will he go to doctor ? Do t be silly he taking v strong painkillers.

It was great be with our lovely son tho he was in London for meetings he rushed I Friday and did us BBQ! Saturday he took us out for v expensive lunch in pretty village laycock and we were lucky was sunny.

We treated us all to fish chips sat night and played board games with his stepsons. Don't feel his partner does much cooking but she is lovely girl very welcoming.

She is also v clever making stuff made lovely rag doll which we giving to Danika. She also makes handbags.

We had 2 family weddings yogagirl since estrangement Tor not invited to either but then one was my nephew not seen heard from him since or my sister we have a dysfunctional family!
Glad it went off well.

Hope smileless lapping. Up sunshine and plenty of like we were reckon she needs a recharge. Have good week all meeting friend for lunch and will try go to weight management mas don't seem put on anything !

What have I missed?. Well good morning from Florida, here's somefor you all, saved from yesterday as it's cloudy at the moment.

It's great to be here, yesterday was a battery re charge day spent doing a few chores in between sun bathing and going in the pool. DH cooked a lovely BBQ last night which we enjoyed with a niceor 3.

Just wanted to touch base with you all. DH did his 'Sylvester Stalone' bit yesterday, remember a couple of years ago Yogagirl and Celebgran?

Sorry about your DH's back Celebgran, hope he's feeling a little better now. Glad you had such a good time with your lovely son. How do people manage if they're cut out of all of their children's or only child's lives. There is still so much to be thankful for isn't there.

Hope your retreat went, or is going well Yogagirl, hope all is well with DD and her lovely little baby. Have a good week everyone.

Great to hear from you Smileless hope has returned.

Refresh me what was the sylvester Stallone thingy ?

I got bit low hate saying bye to Steve and we stopped at reading services where we used to with Tor on way back from her uni

Never mind as you say we v lucky to have one child who loves us some not so lucky agree I am friends with one lady who has 2 estranged sons and one grandson it must be worse hell than us.

Discussed my letter to s I law mother with our son he felt she must know what he has done and felt I was too angry! he did say most of it was polite and valid point that s I law went to police not our daughter and he rang the godparents Cutting them out so element of control there.

Met old friend for lunch today was good I rushed 2 loads washing out first and other stuff from weekend we took our own towels.
On way back to car park after leaving my friend I
Got say girls walked past pub where group men swigging beer outside and they called used out to me I kept walking but kinda nice in embarassed sort way maybe not past it yet ?! Kidding myself!

Do enjoy rest smileless us it 3 weeks?
Husband not good but he did cut grass silly billy he will go work tomorrow
I can guarantee it.

Tells us all about the retreat yogagirl

Morning girls
Shouldn't be on here as need to get my yoga retreat material finished but saw a pm from Celebgran so had to come on, haven't read it yet, will in a mo.
So nice to hear you had a !lovely visit with your NS Celebgran, sounds like he makes a big fuss of you. That's what we always did when my S came to visit, board games, and he would play his guitar, he was very good, I loved it when he played the acoustic guitar, I'm missing him now Think it's about 18mnths since I saw him! We met up in London & made up, but then obviously he spoke to nasty s.I.l and I was then told I hadn't apologised enough! (for what I don't know) so haven't seen or heard from him since :'( You can keep the Celebgran