Gransnet forums

Relationships

So now I know

(35 Posts)
grannyactivist Sat 21-Mar-15 10:27:55

I'm staying with one of my sisters in Manchester whilst my mum is in hospital. Yesterday was a particularly difficult day with mum and my newborn granddaughter both being very unwell (as in will they live or die). Last night I had come home from the hospital, and as often happens when I'm very stressed, I broke out in hives, but they were so bad I even had them all over my face.
My sister was very, very upset on my behalf and this caused her to reveal a secret she's been carrying for nearly ten years. Last night she was able to explain why my eldest daughter cut me out her life and to my great relief and sadness confirmed what I have always suspected; that it was nothing to do with my daughter's relationship with me. My sister is guilty and ashamed for not having told me before, but explained her reasons and although I don't agree with them I do understand. It is a very sad story and brings no credit to any of the main players, but it has put to rest a gnawing curiosity and, as my sister hoped it would, it has given me some peace to really KNOW that our fractured relationship was 'collateral damage' in a much wider situation.
My sister is going to write to my daughter and try to build bridges. I am going to write also to give her news of her Nana and her new niece - then we'll await the outcome - if any.

Marelli Sat 21-Mar-15 20:25:36

A time when you can do nothing but wait, grannyactivist. Nothing is expected of you, only that you are there for them (all of them) when things settle again. Sending a warm arm round your shoulders for just now. x

Sewsilver Sat 21-Mar-15 21:06:28

Ga what a lot you are having to cope with I wish you strength and hope that the past can be healed.

Stansgran Sat 21-Mar-15 21:12:09

Everything everyone else has said

grannyactivist Sat 21-Mar-15 22:34:40

Thank you everyone for your good wishes. I know I've said it before, but it bears repeating; Gransnetters, you have been a true source of support and encouragement to me many times - you're all much appreciated. [thanksalot emoti]

Tomorrow I'm going home for a few days R&R at the insistence of my siblings - indeed they've even paid for my train ticket. smile I've been spending most of every day at the hospital and have had very little time to process recent major life events so they ganged up on me and will hold the fort between them until Wednesday when I return. (They do so with some trepidation - my mother is not easy to manage, even when she's so ill.) smile

tiggypiro Sat 21-Mar-15 22:47:29

Enjoy your R&R Ga. I have no doubt you have earned every minute. My best wishes to all. flowers

Iam64 Sun 22-Mar-15 08:46:52

grannyactivist, thanks for posting your news and from reading the posts above, you've shared something so many of us empathise with. It's good to hear you and your sister have been able to talk about something that must have haunted both of you for so long flowers

Mishap Sun 22-Mar-15 10:00:02

It will be hard to relax with so much going on in your life, but you are definitely doing the right thing to take some time out. I am sure it will all be going round in your head; but you will have a bit of time to process it all. We are all thinking of you. flowers

nannieroz111 Sun 22-Mar-15 10:17:40

Such a stressful time for you ga flowers

Ariadne Sun 22-Mar-15 17:34:20

ga hugs, flowers [sumshine] to you.

You are a strong, brave woman, and you deserve resolutions. Meanwhile, I wish you peace at this difficult time xxx