Toxic people

So very sorry Anya- however difficult yur sister and the relationship was, it is very hard and think back and wonder 'why' - 'why' she became the way she was (I have an estranged brother, and I've spent so much time wondering why- he put my parents through hell and back).

No flowers - can I send (((hugs)))

So sorry to hear the news Anya

I have just read the whole of your post and I am so sorry to hear of your plight. It is so difficult when family push their loved ones away. Your sister is at peace now.

Anya.

I don't want to embarass you nor go over past comments re the relationship with your sister but can I say that hearing your children were at her side and you are paying for her funeral your family has given all it could. I would like to say I find your actions honourable .

As for the next step, the funeral itself, may I be bold and say make your decision on the day and stop fighting the demons that have kept you and your sister apart as they are no longer there. Trust your heart on the day and do what you feel is right FOR YOU .

Take good care of yourself.

anya. I'm so sorry

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sorry to hear that mumof - I hope things do improve for you and your sister.

I wasn't going to revive this thread but now that mumof has, I'll just add that I am going to the funeral in Monday. Not because I really want to but I didn't want my son travelling there and back alone. We might be the only ones there as the rest of the family have declined.

Anya I hope you get some peace knowing you have done everything you can for your sister.

I hope it goes as well as it can on Monday Anya. Your generosity of spirit, by going with your son, is heart warming.

Anya Going to the funeral is the last gesture that you can make for your sister and I hope that it will bring peace and closure for you

Anya I second what Ceesnan has said above. The ability to rise above the hurts of the past, and be there for your son too, is indeed heartwarming.

That was my thought too Anya. It can't be easy but you are doing the 'right' thing and I suspect you will be glad you did eventually.

Please come back and talk to us after if you want to.

mumof, due to my mother and her machinations, my brothers and I didn't speak for around 6 years. Now, despite my mother and her machinations, we are really close and would be there for each other no matter what. I suggest you give it time.

I think that is lovely that you are going to your sister's funeral and I hope it gives you some peace .
Thank you Anya and Kitty for your comments re my sister. I will try and be patient and hang in there!

Anya, thanks for updating us and as others have said, I do believe you are right to go to the funeral as support for your son. I hope it provides some comfort for you,

You can only do your best when it comes to relationships - if nothing comes back then it is not your fault. She led her life as she chose. It is good that there were people with her at the end. I am sure that you will be a support to your son at the funeral.