Walking on egg shells with my daughter in law

Just come back from holiday, and have read all your comments and advice for which I am extremely grateful, I have taken much of the advice on board and don't feel as if i'm on my own in this situation now.
As suggested i will retain my dignity, not be confrontational and always be there for them all should they ask me.
Hopefully i will see my grandsons soon, in the meantime i intend to get on with my life.
Anya, I hope the above satisfies your need to make unpleasant comments, it really isn't necessary.
Kittysmum

Kittysmum123

Anya's unpleasant comments appear on other other forums together with others who are, ostensibly, offering a 'balanced view.' Never seem to miss a chance to put the boot in.

It's sooo good to see you posting Louisamay welcome back. It's been a long time since GN heard from you. It is indeed unfortunate that this subject matter attracts from some quarters, such hostility and on occasion nastiness. There are unfortunately some posters who make Job's comforters seem positively supportive.

I hope you had a good holiday Kittysmum. I agree, there have been some helpful and insightful responses to your post. I think your approach is the right one. Yes, you should be there for them when needed, retain your dignity and avoid confrontation where ever possible but relationships are a two way street. Your help should not be taken for granted and should be appreciated. You should receive the respect you show to others. Sadly there are some posters who cannot resist the temptation to be unpleasant but don't be discouraged from posting. Unfortunately some have been in the past.

What on eart has anya said on this thread to provoke such a personal attack ?

What a very strange response louisamay. Yours is the only 'unpleasant comment' I can see here.

The OP, Kittysmum has been on holiday which is why she's not responded before now but what does it matter. Is there some unwritten rule somewhere that the OP must respond when there could be all manner of reasons why she doesn't?

Kittysmum clearly found the remark unpleasant as did Louisamay and they're entitled to say so as are the posters who disagree with them. I thought the comment unnecessary.

When I felt unappreciated for all my efforts; baby sitting for years and having the grandson to stay I was upset and sad for a while. Then I decided I will always want to see my grandson and have him to stay over so I now make an effort to dress up when I go to collect him and be very friendly and up beat, even if I don't feel like it. I have so much experience of life and will not be put down by negative comments. Just best to ignore them and get on with your life too. Once they see you having a good time they will look at you differently with more respect for some reason! That's what I have found anyway. Plus self help books if I get really stuck and there really is one called Stop Treading on Eggshells!

Wow! What a strange response as others have pointed out. Would you care to explain what you thought was 'nasty' kitty and louisa?

Oh and of course smileless

I thought that in the circumstances, Anya's comment was completely innocuous. It's something I have often thought when OPs post something that attracts many perceptive and helpful comments but never come back to report on any outcomes. As it happens, in this case, the OP has been away, but Anya and the rest of us weren't to know that.

Thanks Anno though that doesn't explain the über hostile reaction from the OP and another, unless......

.....perhaps one speaks with two voices????

And am I deliberately poking the hornets nest tonight?

You bet I am!

Good for you Annegranny what a great outlook you have on life. It is best to ignore negative comments and just get on with your life although sometimes that's easier said than done.

Who wrote the book you mentioned 'Stop Treading on Eggshells'? I quite fancy reading that.

I googled this book on Amazon and it is described as 'taking your life back when someone you care about has borderline personality disorder'. The reviews are excellent in this regard.

I wonder is it relevant to dealing with generally difficult people.