Having a favourite child/ grandchild.

I dont think that I have a favourite out of the 7 DGC, but they all have their moment when they are in the front of your thoughts.

If you firmly believe it and think anyone who disagrees is just pretending, why have you started a thread about it? Seems a bit pointless

I suppose it's never a problem I will have because I only have one one grandchild and there will, it seems, be no more. He is the absolute light of our lives!

At first I was going to post this:

I disagree, and I am not pretending. All of mine have got their special good points.

But then I thought about it!

I'm not saying anymore. (Norty Granny!)

I think it's true and I think the DC and DGC have it sussed from an early age. There's no fooling them - they know which one is the favourite even though you are extra careful to try and treat them all exactly the same.

My Mum didn't even try! My big brother was always her shining prince.

thatbags...well said.

I heartily disagree. I have always been of the opinion that having favourites is a sign of something amiss in a family.....I know this from experience, my father did favourites and it was always the one of us who showed the most compliance.

If you truly love your children the concept of favourites is inconsistent. Love is just love....it does not vary. (Did not a famous playwright say something similar but much better)

I can however, understand not liking a child for a time...it might only be for a brief period, after they have shown a sign of their character you do not like, but deep down you still love them.

I too totally disagree.

I love each of my 3DDs just as much as each other. I have things that I particularly like in each of them but my love for ll them is unconditional.

Also love DGS and I'm pretty sure when our new DGC comes along in February I will him / her just as much.

How horrible for any son or daughter to feel that a sibling is favoured and I do believe they would know.

Nothing amiss in my family!

And of course you love them all. And you would never, ever, let on about having a favourite - even to yourself very often.

Exactly jings! Of course we adore them all but there is one who has a little special place in your heart. It's not something for publication though. (Even though I do think they know)

I'm firmly in the no favourite camp. Must admit I find it strange that grandparents might have a favourite grandchild.

I've only one to love wholeheartedly but I asked my SILs who have 18 between them. They said they didn't have favourites and loved them all equally. I believe them.

Now, I did say that you don't LOVE any of them less, but just that there's one of them who has a special wee place in your heart.

So what if they each have a special place in your heart? A different special place each because of their different personalities?

Or what if none of them have?

Why are you convinced this favourite thing is true of everyone, daddima?

Perhaps daddima believes that one of his/her siblings was the favourite in the family?

All my DC and DGC are special in their own way and I can honestly say that don't have a favourite - I love them all!

There's an article in today's Times about the dangers of favouritism, written by a woman who is estranged from her sister because the sister was their mother's favourite.

Apparently research has shown, contrary to what might be thought, that the favourite child has more problems in later life and is more prone to depression. Something to do with having to meet high expectations, being the favoured one.

I love my 3 DCs equally. But there are things about each of them that I particularly like.

My three grandchildren are so different, each being the own person, the three are special to me , no one more special than the other two, I adore the three

I have said to both my DC in the past "I may not like you at times but I will always love you" and it's very true and they know it.
Our two DGC are very different personalities and the one with special needs is a real charmer. I confess I prefer his personality. I love them both equally.

I think there is definitely a danger in showing favouritism, but any grandparent worth their salt will be able to treat all their much loved grandchildren equally.

I seem to have touched a nerve with some people, who have taken to ignoring my saying that we LOVE them all equally.

There is a certain young feller who I fell completely in love with the moment I first set eyes on him, shortly after he was born. I just can't help the feeling of him being so special to me. Maybe it's because he's got my mother's eyes.

That doesn't take away at all for the equal love I feel for all of them, kids and grandkids.

from. not for

I have 7 grandchildren now and they're ALL my favourites. They know I treat them fairly when I don't treat them equally. Some need more time, cuddles, money and suchlike so as to meet their differing needs, but I would give my life for any one of them. No pretending to disagree - we obviously have different outlooks about them.

I think the nerve touched was your belief that we all had a favourite grandchild Daddima and if we happened to disagree we were "pretending."

That's a very good distinction between treating children equally and treating them fairly When.

I seem to have touched a nerve with some people

No-one seems to have had a nerve touched