Alone for Christmas

We were lucky enough to have our first grandchild this year. We never thought it would happen but it did. Our sons partner is from down under and they have now gone to spend Christmas with her parents. I never thought I would feel so bereft. I hate myself as I actually feel jealous of her parents who already have 5 grandchildren and yet we're missing our only grandchild s very first Christmas. I dont want to feel like this and when I get daily photos from our son, it makes me feel even worse. Does anyone else feel like this or am I just being a miserable old trout!

Suzieq I think your feelings are quite natural and to be expected. It is how we deal with the feelings of hurt that is important.

I expect every GP feels neglected at some point, Christmas makes it more acute.

Congratulations on your grandchild. I hope you have a lovely Skype on Christmas Day.

x

I do feel for you Suzie. I never realised how besotted I would be as a grandmother, as I wasn't that maternal all those years ago.

We help out looking after our two grandsons but recently the eldest started school and they don't need us quite as much. So about 5 weeks went without us seeing them (I do know to some people that it is not much time but to us it is) I began to get such an aching feeling of separation, especially when I spoke to the boys on the IPad and they said 'when are we going to see you again'.

I too felt jealous that the other grandparents were invited to see the eldest in the Nativity and we weren't . They do live much closer and it would have been an upheaval to go on that day.

So all in all it is the price we pay for being doting grandparents. Let's hope you can be with your little one in the New Year.

DS1 and family are going to be with DiL's family in a big rented house this Christmas. I couldn't begrudge them this because they have taken their turn with me many times and DiL's parents have had a very rough time healthwise this year - and I like them very much. Luckily I also have DS2 and family though it's a bit of a crush in their house! They had hoped to be in a bigger house by now but their buyer pulled out at the last minute. Maybe next year...
J52 I expect every GP feels neglected at some point. Not at all. I am not, and have never felt, neglected. Much sympathy, though, for anyone who has this misfortune.

'Granny' you're my total hero. What an absolutely lovely thing to do!

It's to stop my darlings from feeling guilty at leaving me on my own while they visit his family that I go on cruises.
Nothing to do with being waited on hand and foot and the delicious food and drink.
Definitely not!

My own personal opinion on this is that Christmas is overrated - I have spent Christmas Day on my own in the past and will do so again in the future, have on occasion also shared it (out of a sense of obligation after having been invited) with people I would rather not have spent it with, and also with my dearly loved son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren.

Whatever way, it is just another day that can be spent as we see fit and I cannot see the point of getting oneself worked up over one single day, when it's the whole rest of the year that matters far more.

If you see enough of them any other time I would not worry too much about that one single day. Indulge yourself, do what you want, and look forward to your next meeting with your son.

Christmas and families brings all sorts of difficulties and obligations, so in order to cope, I've nurtured the idea that Christmas Day is just another day of the holidays and that a Christmas Day can happen at any time over the festive period.

So, to cope with my sons going to in-laws for Christmas, I always have a Christmas Day at my house on the Sunday before Christmas. We have a proper Christmas Day with presents, games, Turkey, pudding, the lot! It's worked extremely well and takes away any guilt my family may feel when they have to fulfil their obligations to their wives and their families on the actual day.

Let's face it, when our children marry or find life partners, they have duties and responsibilities to others, not just us. It's hard when you've been their number one person for so long, but they grow up and move on.

This year for the first time since they all moved on, they are all here on Christmas Day. I'm thrilled and panicking in equal measures as I have 14 to cook for.

As I had cancer diagnosed at the beginning of 2014, I think we're all thinking about the joy of spending another Christmas together, as I'm still here and doing well.

Galen, that sounds the perfect answer to me, but oh that single supplement.

Sadiesnan, congratulations on doing so well after your diagnosis, you must all be thrilled. Have a wonderful Christmas Day and I am sure they will all rally round and help you.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201512/medium-279760-image.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201512/medium-328641-image.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201512/medium-123871-image.jpeg

Two likeminded can share. My disabled cabin comes with twin beds and a sofa bed and is big enough to have a (small) orgy in.

Waiters, watch out !

Lovely cabin Galen. Or stateroom if American line. Though I refuse to call it that.

Suite! Cunard Queen Victoria. This is the sitting area

Unashamedly , have a fabulous time Galen.

We have DD here for the Christmas holidays, DS, DDIL and DGS will be here Boxing Day evening and the Sunday. It wouldn't cross my mind to feel affronted or upset about having no one here, I'm just glad when they do come. It's no big deal so I struggle a bit to understand when other GNs get so upset.

DDIL's parents live abroad; if they came over or DS went there it wouldn't upset me at all.

I'll miss all of you.
I trust you'll all behave while I'm away.
The net access can be a little flakey on board but I'll try to keep in touch.
At least the forecast looks good with temp in the 20s

Now decisions decisions, which 4 of the 6 long dresses I've sorted out shall I take?

Bon Voyage Galen. I hope the sea is calm for you.

Wow! Suite to boot. Sorry for calling it a cabin !! Have a great time in your 20s temperature.

I think it's Thursday isn't it? Hope all packed, gowns and pearls et al.

Nothing packed yet. Probably do it tomorrow afternoon.

I have a list on my poorer that I print out each cruise then dash round getting it together. Then Kate and I throw carefully pack into the 5 suitcases I need for 12 days?

poorer computer!

Five cases!
Of course , one for the pearls and tiaras , another two for ball gowns, how wonderful

20°...... I'm going to be and and
Have a fantastic Christmas Galen x

We need to see the pearls and assist in your choice!

Galen I don't even possess five suitcases!
Looking at the photographs I have no doubt that you're going to have a splendid time. Bon Voyage.

I shall think of you pootling out of s'ton. Last time we were also sailing. Have a splendid time and a Happy Christmas to you.

I'll just chuck the lot in and decide on the day which to wear! 3 really good strings and the rest just southsea pearls mixed with coral or freshwater.
Not feeling very enthusiastic at the moment.
Will try to cut down to 2 or 3 but all the electrical chargers and disability aids need a whole bag on their own.
Then there's the luggie (scooter) and its batteries, crutch carriers etc!
Believe me, I don't travel light!
Air travel is a nightmare! I've never had a hassle free flight!
This one is from Soton!