New Law To Tackle Emotionally Bullying Partners

Sounds a bit like my BiL and my SiL Smileless who have now alientated the entire family. Trouble is, although it stemmed from his wide originally, BiL has proved himself a willing participant and is now as bad, or if not worse, than she.

Wouldn't give either of them the time of day, thoroughly nasty people the pair of them.

His wife - not wide (though it's quite apt too)

Such sad stories on here DotMH1901 Lupatria Brupen Piggypoo and others. I hope this law will begin to help more people understand and maybe more women seek help and a route to escape.
TricaF they were not the good old days, "before feminism", were they.

'Wide' is rather apt for our d.i.l. too Anya and you've summed up our situation perfectly. Our ES has "has proved himself to be a willing participant and is now as bad, if not worse than (d.i.l.)".

Sadly "thoroughly nasty people, the pair of them" also applies.

We can only hope that this law, which is certainly a step in right direction, can help those caught up in emotionally abusive relationships be they men or women.

It seems to be a law without teeth though, as proving it must be a nightmare. My ex was emotionally abusive to myself and my dcs, but always in our house or in the car, rarely did he slip and do it in front of others. Once his mother started having memory problems, I noted he was less careful in front of her, which I assume was because he then felt he could pass off any comments she made as a faulty memory.

Even his own family, who have witnessed a few slip ups on his part, and who have remarked on his dreadful temper, deny that he could ever be abusive. If I can't make his family believe, when they witnessed a small part of it, how could I ever convince the police? It's his word against mine, and he has a very finely tuned "public persona" that he puts on in front of others.

Having worked for the police, I've seen the attitude from quite a few PCs that they very clearly attribute any domestic situation as "not a real crime" and the eye rolls when talking about the woman and her saying she is being harassed and threatened is truly disheartening. I said something each and every time, and got a bit of a reputation for crusading the domestic situations a bit, but I've been there and it's terrifying to be stalked and harassed and threatened. Until domestics are regarded as serious across the board and the police are required to deal with it better, I don't see it improving much.

Emotional abuse will be difficult to prove, but sometimes the law has to lead so that attitudes can follow. This has been the case with attitudeses to domestic abuse in general - it used to be thought that domestic violence was a private affair that happened in the privacy of people's own homes and couldn't (or shouldn't) be policed. As prosecutions began to happen attitudes also changed and it would be difficult now to say what changed first. The same arguments have been used about emotional abuse of children and it is only fairly recently that we have begun to see this treated as seriously as it deserves, with children being subject to child protection plans and even removed from parents on these grounds alone.

On a different level, we have had the same arguments about driving offences such as using mobile phones etc. with some people arguing those laws were a waste of time, but I think that gradually attitudes are changing there as well. If something is wrong it's wrong, and there can be no harm in having a legal framework that reflects that.

True. Sadly, I think that laws regarding child maintenance and domestic violence are lagging because they negatively affect men and positively affect women. They fly in the face of men who dismiss it as "women stirring up trouble for men." I know so many that dismiss both out of hand, as well as go on about single mothers "popping out kids so they can get benefits" without stopping to think about the men that fathered those children and their lack of support.

I don't think things will improve dramatically until men step up and condemn those that are guilty of these things, instead of making derogatory comments about women that are the victims. It's still too much of a "men v women" divide IMO.

We live in hope heavenknows - small steps forward but its a long road. Attitudes have changed and are still changing.