Gransnet forums

Relationships

Page 4 of 4 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |

What do we do when we can't help them anymore?

(79 Posts)
Add comment | Report
Marelli Thu 14-Jan-16 07:29:33

As some will remember, I've had worries about my son for quite a long while. He's 44, and over the years has taken recreational drugs. He's now really depressed and has enormous feelings of guilt for how this has affected family due to his lying etc. I'm just about at my wit's end, now, as I don't know how to help him. He's not been going to work, so I'm scared he'll lose his job. His flat was really messy when I saw him the other day, and now he's not answering his phone or my texts.
I realise I may be adding to the pressure by trying to contact him, but I just need that bit of contact.
If he loses his job, he'll lose his flat, and he'll not receive any benefits due to being dismissed. He's got a GP appointment for the end of next week, but I'm fearful it's not soon enough.
I feel a bit better for putting this down. We just can't mend everything, can we, however much we try? sad

Add comment | Report
Bamm Sat 16-Jan-16 19:07:36

Auntbett I do hope things become easier for your son , what an awful situation for him, and you. Mumofmadboys I too lie awake feeling ill with worry. So good that you were able to shop with your son Marelli, and that you could talk with him.

Add comment | Report
Wendysue Sun 17-Jan-16 05:39:30

Glad you got to spend time with DS, Marelli and go food shopping with him. His complaint about your constant question makes me rethink my earlier statement. Maybe you do need to back off, as you say, yourself, even in this situation. I know you worry, but I guess you need to let him deal with this in his own way.

I feel so deeply for all of you in this thread who are going through similar things. But I think all of these younger people need to be in Narcotics Anonymous or one or more of the other organizations mentioned here. It's so normal, I think, for a parent to try to help. But it's really beyond us, I believe.

Auntbett, I'm so sorry that your DS has the added complication of his X and her claims. I'm not sure if you can know exactly what happened between them - you weren't there, after all - but you seem confident that the charges are false. And when I put together everything you've told us, his X does sound very unstable and cruel. My heart goes out to both you and DS, and I hope things begin to get better soon.

Add comment | Report
auntbett Wed 20-Jan-16 13:13:45

Just wanted to say thank you so much to you gransnetters for your helpful comments and support. Very much appreciated.

Page 4 of 4 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |