Most of the women at work have grown up children and we were chatting about how we feel when our children are hurt in some way, emotionally, physically, or even just dissapointed. It made me remember how I felt some years back when I was estranged from my teenage daughter. A very close friend saw my ongoing distress and because she was upset blurted out " if anything happens to you I'm going to tell her just how much she's hurt you and the damage she's done" I remember begging her and making her and others promise never ever to tell her. I just couldn't bear the thought of her carrying that terrible burden and what it would do to her. On another occasion one of my sons found out his then partner (now wife) had been unfaithful. I can still see his face full of hurt and I felt my heart being ripped out of my chest. Currently my oldest son is having a terrible time. He's dealing with it admirably but the mask comes off when he's here with me and the fear and pain are written all over him. He doesn't cry but he's constantly on the brink. It stabs at my heart, I'm somtimes ashamed of how I feel I think to myself " he's over forty get over it" This wonderful amazing love we have for for our children never ceases to amaze me and seeing them in pain is just the worst thing and the hurt washes over me like a great wave. Obviously I don't ever share these feelings with my children and I'm not a clinging mother. They all lead independent lives and I have really good grown up relationship with them all. This fierce protective mothering instinct that comes to us almost at the start of conception must never leave us and at times can cause great pain(and the greatest love) do others feel the same as myself and my colleagues?
