Support for those estranged from family members. Moving on together,

YogagirlGlad you had a nice retreat. Everyone looks happy at the table.
CelebgranHope your pain is better today and you can get some answers as to the cause. Will your son be living near you?
Smileless I'm glad you got to the sunshine state safely and all will be much better now that you can rest and just enjoy the sun.
Seeing Minnie and Mickey is the best " happy pill" I know.
Wish we were down there at the same time so we could meet up.
DD husband called her drunk from a bar( pub)) he was at with his parents. Do they not see their son drunk?
He got back, went to work but didn't get home until eight at night. He had to get his weed and beer. Never mind he hadn't seen his children for five days and they were sleeping when he arrived yesterday.
Dd is going on the 13 th and 14 for custody of the children with him getting visitation. I guess Angelina Jolie has the same problem as my DD.

Oh Celeb you poor thing. It's frightening when in so much pain, I hope you're feeling a little better today. Keep us posted wont you, we do worry about you know.

That would have been lovely Rhinestone to meet up. There's a lady from another support group I go on who lives in Venice, FL and we are busily making plans to drive down to meet up with her. Which reminds me Celeb, we really do need to get our act together and arrange our long awaited meet.

I'll be keeping everything crossed for your DD Rhinestone. What an awful predicament, I hope all goes well with the court hearing. 'Don't his parents see him drunk'; some people have a knack for only seeing what they want to see; just ask any of our estranged children!!

Got a lovely day planned, there's plenty ofand it's already very warm (10 am here). Going for a game of crazy golf and for lunch at one of our favourite places.

Hope you've settled back in Yogagirl, I expect Crete feels like a long time ago already.

Hi All- Had a meeting with my daughter and my X as to how to help her when the divorce is final. He was brutal and viscous to her. My poor DD . Every time she tried to respond to his questions he criticized her and kept beating her down with his words. I had to keep telling him to stop and be quiet. Now that is someone my children should be estranged from in my opinion. There's a valid reason. He cannot give emotionally but he can write a check. I feel bad that she even has to get money from him as well as from me. So when my son estranged himself from me for two years he said it was to see if his father was the jerk people said he was when he was married to his second wife. Well I guess he found out and then wrote that lovely email to me. I don't agree that he had to cut me out if his life to find out but he did. I'm having a hard time excepting that my son may have some paranoia and mental illness. But I have read that it can be the reason for an estrangement.
My therapist told me to let my DH make the decision to send a card or gift to our DGS
next month on his sixth birthday.
I know I sound like I'm all over the place today. Sorry for that.

No need to apologise Rhinestone, it can't have been easy meeting up with your ex especially as he wasn't understanding toward her. Poor girl's got enough to contend with hasn't she.

I think your therapist is right, let your DH make his own decision. It may be something he needs to do to see how things really are with his son. It'll be very upsetting of course if there's no response but sometimes it's better to know where you stand.

It must be very difficult accepting that your son may well have mental health issues; have you heard from since your meeting?

Hi girls, haven't been on for a while. Hope your pain is settling Celebgran, did they find out what's causing it?
Sorry about your house sale problems Smileless, it's always really unsettling having a house on the market. The right buyer will come along at the right time though. I do believe in things happening when they are supposed to (except being estranged from our children!
Rhinestone you're having a helluva time aren't you. I hope things work out for your DD and her kids and she can come to some arrangement with her landlord. Such a worry for you.
Yes Yogagirl you're right going away for a while allows you to almost forget the bad stuff that's going on but when you get home it's still there. We were visiting stepson and family over the weekend and had fun with the DGC (girl 5+boy 2). I felt quite happy and chatty. Once back home though I feel quite down. I'm not normally a depressive person but lately I keep feeling sorry for myself but keep trying to bouy myself up and think positive. When a part of you is missing ie an estranged child you never stop asking yourself why and feeling like a total failure as a parent

Well ladies and thanks Smilelss for pm s from Florida ?

Colchester a and e were brilliant took bloods again and xray this time, actually saw a consultant and lovely nurse practitioner I had fun ride to xray on trolley??it showed severe congestion and inflammation of bowel so am on disgusting sachets laxatives for 6 days. She showed me xray all on one side that is painful, so relief to get diagnosis they emailing gp to say what they found and if after week pain not gone will. Need further tests fingers crossed I won't.
Been great hear from good friends and my dear nephews wife kind of helps as can't help thinking of ed when am ill.

Oh rhinestone how horrid of your ex to upset daughter poor girl.

Ukcan yes sometimes I feel failure as parent then think of my so. Speaking in Australian government this week and think well didn't do too bad there??

Been dreadful few days can only get better??

We haven't failed as parents Ukecan, they've failed as our children. I think there does come a time when you stop asking 'why', I think that time comes for everyone and when it does it makes life just that little bit easier.

I no longer ask why, I know part of the answer and the rest that alluded me doesn't trouble me anymore. I don't care 'why', it's of no consequence now. Our ES has destroyed our relationship and taken away our only GC. There is no justification, there is no 'why' other than the one we know already.

Well we're having a mixture ofand showers. Very warm and great when it's not raining. Hey ho, tomorrow night and early Friday morning hurricane Matthew is due to hit. Had this villa 9 years and never had a hurricane before.

Shouldn't be too bad, we know what we have to do regarding pool side furniture etc. and our villa is just outside of the area where there could be property damage. So, I'll keep you posted (hopefully).

Not very nice for you at all Celebbut at least you know what' causing the pain, that they can do something for it and it isn't anything serious, all be it painful.

Had confirmation today that the contracts have been exchanged on our new home. Still no offers on our other one though.

Sh.t Mr. S. has just informed me that we've been moved too inside the property damage zone.

Thanks Smileless I'm not quite there yet and my brain won't switch off with the 'why', 'how' 'when' did it all go wrong questions.
Today is my ED 40th Birthday. I ended up sending her a pretty card and gift card for books (her favourite thing).
I woke up this morning remembering how naiive I was when I went into labour 40 years ago. I had been for a scan the day before and was told I had 6 weeks to go. When I woke up that night with pains I thought it was a tummy upset and drank camomile tea! I didn't even have my hospital bag packed so when we eventually set off for the hospital all I had was a nightie and my toothbrush! After hours of labour but no result, they told me they were going to do a section, I started to shake uncontrollably all over I was terrified of losing my baby. I didn't lose her then, but I have now. Stevie Wonder's 'Isn't She Lovely' was our song that year.
Sorry to be maudlin' ?
However, it is a beautiful day? and I have some nice things going on. There has been a light frost - so it's the day to go and pick sloes to make my Sloe Gin. We have a 'Doggy guest' coming at lunchtime who will be staying for a whole month. Her owners are going to Africa as part of a surgical team to help people with facial disfigurements caused by the Noma virus. Then I have choir tonight. Singing is the best therapy! ???

Ukecan sending big virtual hug I can so relate to that,

Our estranged daughter is 36 next jan can remember so clearly when midwife said you have your Victoria (no scans then) my dear husband was at home with our son and I was desperate to tell him no mobiles, different world. Next morning they both trooped in laden with flowers.

How happy I was i used to sing that song to her isn't she lovley also how could I have known she would drop us overnight and do her best to destroy me?

Glad you sent card and voucher ukcan,After 7 years we have finally stopped for 7 Xmas we did stockings for little ones and sent vouchers also even last year sent each little Gran daughter pretty card and next voucher, expect cards were binned.
I phtographed most of it for the blog I do for oldest one, only one we knew sadly.

We never ever had courtesy of a single acknowledgment it's like she wants the little ones to suffer.

Well didn't sleep well again guesmgot be patient ref pain.

Smilless batten down hatches do hope hurricane may pass you by,

What a frustrating 48 hours. Hurricane Matthew was a category 3 by the time it reached us, not too bad but bad enough. At least the weather is back to normal. My beloved laptop gave up ghost yesterday so now I have a notebook thingy; the air is as blue as the sky as I'm struggling to get to grips with the bloody thing. I hate technology with a passion and it hates me with equal passion. This is taking me ages to type because I can't get used to the touch of the keyboard. I type very quickly and it doesn't seem to like it.

Thank goodness Mr. S. is patient and on call every 2 mins. to help me out when it does things I don't want it to do.

It's been a few days since I've been on line so I hope you're feeling better Celeb.

We couldn't meet up with the lady in Tampa yesterday because of the weather so have re arranged it for tomorrow. We spoke on the 'phone yesterday and she sounds lovely; I'm really looking forward to meeting her.

Hope you're all OK.

Great hear you ok ? smilless been worrying about that pesky hurricane

Well still got damn pain surgery sent me to hospital for ct. scan yesterday ordeal had wait so long and good news nothing. Serious showed up bad news still got pain could even be muscle strain apparently,

Well looks like I am reasonable healthy despite ed best efforts to destroy me.

Dear son saw it on F book so contacted me via messenger bless he is on way home fa ft going to Australia for a week? Very proud of him though he gave talk in aus parliament on terrorism.

Feel,I g wiped out we were at hospital until 9pm waiting for scan and then to see dr, but good news,

They also gave me morphine pain relief wonderful but can't have it at home,?

Enjoy rest break smilless

Pore husband work tomorrow and he got my cough bless him for taki g last Tuesday off first time ever cos I was so ill.

Happy weekend. All I have tea sorted quick rest before cooking it! sirloin steak toad in hole roasties, tomatoes for and mushrooms broccoli a d carrots mmm and red ? mmm

Oh dear, been over a week since I have been on and poor Celebregran been to hospital and so poorly.??? for you and do hope you are on the mend, Smileless in Florida with Mathew doing his best to disrupt everyone, glad things getting back to normal for you and your husband ??for you I think to let it all pass over you. Yogagirl, will you pm me with details of the Yoga retreat in Crete. Been so depressed, don't want to go to the doctors as he hadn't got a pill for what's wrong with me. I find it too much trouble to put on the computer which is ridiculous I know. There is nothing to be done and I try to be positive and think that it's not all about me, but that's what it's become it all came to a head after the falls and the dentist.
Hope everyone else making the best of everything, glad it's Sunday and Poldark.
X

Oh thanks luckylegs

Please don't get down come and post someone always ready to listen u are never alone.

It is that gloomy tiime of year shorter days etc.

My pain is really getting me down shed few tears today crazy but still think of my daughter at times like this and my son has been to Australia so felt isolated.

Dear husband is marvellous but he has bad back, knee and got my cough poor chap.

Going to tell dr Tuesday I am desperate to get to cause of this pain.

Lucklegs ???cheer up we all here to listen and try help x

Thanks for kind words Celebregran. Horrible that you are still in pain. Hopefully you may be given some answers Tuesday, fingers crossed.

Could it be a kidney stone celebgran? Sometimes if they're small they only show up on CAT scan. Or IBS?? Hope you get answer soon.

Morning Girls

Tried to get on here yesterday but wouldn't let me

Well Thank God you survived the hurricane Smileless I did think of you, I did watch the weather forecast and it did seem to be slightly changing direction, a friend of a friend had just left for Disney Land Florida as they announced the Hurricane was heading that way!

Hope you are feeling better Clelebgran Keep on at the Doctors until you get a result and therefore a cure.

My early morning Yoga wasn't on yesterday morning, due to a special promotion of 'Les Mills' which yoga isn't part of. So I went to church with my ND&babyGD, it was lovely, heard my ND bands being read. I lit a candel at the end before I left and said a pray for my estD&GC the Curate [vicars wife] asked me if I would share it with her as she had come with me to light the candle, but I had said my prayer silently. [My ND hadn't told them of our estrangement] I shared my story with her , in a nut shell, and she said she would pray for Laila and as I had said this situation will make my ND's wedding bitter/sweet, she said they would make sure it was a wonderful service for her! She also said that she knew there were a lot of grandparents deprived of their grandchildren! My ND was fine with my telling the Curate by the way.

Luckylegs The Crete Retreat, at the moment, is booked for the same week as this year; 20-27 Sept. However I am trying to get a slightly earlier slot, as mid Sept the wind changes direction, which made it a bit windy leading to us cancelling our all-day cruise of the Islands. So I'll let you know when the date is confirmed and I can pop my booklet in the post to you, although I do post it on my FB page, but more info in my booklet. I'm also doing a Retreat in Turkey next June, but again I'm seeing if I can change it to the 'La Gomera Island' which is very rustic, we can Dolphin watch! and go on long rustic walks, heaven! Not forgetting my Yoga Retreat in India next March 4-18th which is all booked, including our flight bookings. Would be great if you joined us

for all, sorry if I've not 'replied' to your post, sometimes I get on here with just enough time to read but not reply and my little doggie is now needing her walkies, so can't reread previous again

Thanks ladies, Katek u sound like know more than I do but I had c t scan with dye in veins? Nothing serious showed it wasn't pleasant scan?

Dreadful night again so off see nurse after Rosie vets ? to ask if will give me the ovamorph had for pain in hospital Friday

Whole thing is nightmare

Sorry luckylegs mess that be cheering u up

Wow o yogagirl lots travelling planned we loved India highlight was Taj Mahal will u go there?

My left knee bad, also leg feels slightly numb wonder if connected to pain as left side groin? Will ask dr and nurse, feel such idiot keep going back but pain leaves no choice,

Yogagirl the curate sounds very kind and understanding,

That's good,

I always light candle and pray hard for a reconciliation no one heard me so far??

Celebregran, I think I need to come round and look after you.i could plump pillows, peel grapes and read to you whether you wanted it or not. It would take my mind of me for a bit. You have had such a bad year health wise, made worse for you because of your broken heart, do get well soon.
Yogagirl, I always light a candle, makes me feel positive. The outcome hasn't changed, but an old saying comes to mind, the Lord doesn't come when you ask him to, but he always comes on time. I am not conventionally religious but I do go to Church now and then, it makes me conscious of a higher power and the knowledge that how I feel is not new or just happening to me. Thanks for information on retreats.
Rhinestone, hope you are coping ok.
? To you all
? To you all.

Hi everyone, hope you've had a good Monday.

We went to Tampa yesterday and met up with a lovely lady I've got to know from another site and her husband.

It was so good to meet someone face to face who understands exactly what estrangement from your own child feels like. They're such a warn and lovely couple and they've lost their daughter, their only child and their grandchildren too.

Hope you're feeling a little better Celeb I'm sure all of your heart ache is affecting you physically. Try to stay strong and positive dear friend.

That must have been lovely Yogagirl, having the bands read for your DD's wedding with your lovely GD there too.

You're not alone Luckylegs, this is so hard for you but we'll always be here.

Still batting on with my note book contraption. It's the keyboard I'm really struggling with, it's rather small and I'm use to typing quickly and we don't seem to be suited.

Still, managed to get on line, onto emails and into GN without bothering Mr. S..

Luckylegs that sounds lovely! I need a nurse at moment!

Gra gone to work and I do feel v low. Have appt with dr at 1 10.
Smilelss you could be right our mental stare affects physical stuff,
Crazy given her apparent hatred of us but I miss my daughter dreadfully when I am ill.

Smilelss how great you met fellow Estranged couple. Yes not good enough we have still to meet!

We have to pay for cruise to Dubai and feeling negative ref health.

Nurse gave me oramorph as asked for but she was totally uncaring and indifferent saying dr would sort anything else today,

It helps but I still didn't sleep well. Am Now convinced pain is connected to artniriits as my left knee worst one and whole leg seems ? painful,

Just hope dr is kinder than nurse

Hope your appointment went OK Celeb. Sorry your nurse was uncaring, that's the last thing you need when you're feeing unwell.

Another lovely morning here, plenty of . I've been feeling a little strange ever since we arrived, things still seem surreal. I suppose it's because when we get back we'll be moving into our new home and although I'm really looking forward to it, it still doesn't seem real somehow. We've done a lot of reading, sunbathing, going in the pool and spent the first 3 days giving the villa a thorough clean. No parks yet and I don't think we'll bother until our friend comes out to join us for the last week. I think we must b getting old.

Looking forward to Vegas at the weekend, apart from the 5 hour fight, you don't realise how big America is. We've ordered a new battery for my laptop but I think I should really persevere with this; perhaps it's time I dragged myself out of the stone age.

Take care everyone.

Thanks smilless positive update dr was lovely referred me for gynae and hips xray which I went to and today saw my knee consulate who is nicest man possible.
he already had my hip xray plus one from hospital he was so kind and thorough.

Good news my hips are fine and he was first dr to locate site of pain! He said the stomach xray Looking at it from his muscular skeletal expertise he said lower b

Sorry damn iPad keeps freezing since I downloaded updates.

Anyway he thinks that could e causing numbness in legs some soft tissue injury co ected to lower back, give it month to settle or I may need injections in back ?

He spent 45 minutes examining me and doing test before we eve. Discussed knee, I explained messed up with all walking round Rome a d. St tropez he was so kind said hope we enjoyed he would like go there was is safe with pickpockets bless him.
Fantastic news hips ok I could have hugged him a d especially when only had xray yesterday was t expecting him have all that info ??.

Anyway he gave me steroid jab for left knee leave it up to me. NExt appt see how pai. Goes.

Dr has referred me for gynae appt ref mum dying ovarian cancer at only 70 and having blood test for ovaries Friday, my estranged daughter should be screeened but sadly we have no contact no for her, she dint respond to last letter so nothing we can do,

Gp is trying so hard ref elimination.

My leg really played up last.night forgotten. What good night is. Ovamorph does help though,

Dh took. ME for lunch and we managed get first proper grocery week in ten days
Things looking up a bit!

Consultsant said today nurse should. Not have sent me to a and again Friday he expected she just out of her depth.

Well smilless keep posiitve new beginnings for you.

Awful news our son had car accident and car write off. Thank god he ok and cctv spotted woman drier drove straight into him. Bad news financially as he has spent t lot on car. New gear box which won't be reflected in settlement.

How are you today luckylegs? Hope you managed do something to brighten your day even if just treat yourself of bunch flowers,

Yogagirl hope all ok your end, infeel lot brighter today was v tearful yesterday after dropped Gra off work just thought the old daughter would have been worried about me. Sadly got let that go, so relieved dr go I mean was so kind and I knew consultants would be great be always is just pleasant suprise he nd results from yesterday and hospital.

Rhinestone how's things ? Hope daughter ok

Good to hear that the consultant was kind and thorough Celeb. It doesn't take much to put someone at their ease and makes all the difference. Knowledge of family medical history can be so important. They're so short sighted aren't they, these cruel and foolish children. Still there's nothing we can do about it, we can only hope that our GC's health never suffers because their parents don't know everything they should and are now in a position where they feel unable to ask.

Your poor son, thank goodness he wasn't hurt. ES was in an accident a couple of years ago, DS told us. When Mr. S. bumped into him, told him we knew and asked if he was OK, he was accused of stalking him.

We keep getting emails from our estate agent, asking questions already asked and answeredwhich is rather frustrating.

Going to have a nice relaxing day today as we fly to Vegas tomorrow. Hope everyone's OK.