narcissistic ex-SIL

I could say 'snap' to most of that. Its all about control isn't it? DD's ex is much better since she met her new partner. That doesn't help you much, I know, but at least you know you are not alone and i wish my ex sil would go up in a puff of smoke.

Yes you're right Kittylester, its definitely all about control. I pray that one day DD will meet someone special, and then hopefully, he will stop playing his silly little games. It's good to know I'm not alone though.

He must feel bad about himself as he has to put your DD down in order to feel better about himself. It may not seem like it, but this is typically what narcissistic people do. Plus they usually use people until their use is of no good to them anymore so he must still be getting something out of these texts and phone calls or else he would just stop and move on to someone else. Maybe your DD can get separate phones and just use one for him, turn it on to make arrangements and then turn it off when her son is with her? Just an idea. That's the trouble with mobiles, we can be got at any time of day.

My ex SiL was in the forces too. I can relate to most of what you say. D and he are not divorced because he was convinced they "could be so good together' but have been separated for 3 yrs. He uses their two boys as pawns. She can't see the boys unless she pays CSA out of her minimum wage, despite the fact he's on £3000 a month. D is strong but he can still upset her because it's all about the boys.
Last weekend he texted her 40 times in one day. D had done the separate phone thing but circumstances changed. She is thinking of doing it again.
You are not alone

I relate only too well! In fact I can't even discuss my ex sil anymore because I can feel my blood pressure soaring!
I would gladly attend his funeral but my dd would still be paying then.

I am another who can relate to your story. Definitely a control thing! The only way my SIL can exert that control is by non-payment of child maintenance and expecting the kids to drop everything and see him if he is 'just passing'. DD has been very firm in never allowing him into their house, with which I wholly agree. He would only use it to gather ammunition. He questions them about their meals and insists they eat their 'greens'. I'm sorry, but he forfeited the right to have any say over their day to day lives by leaving them homeless and penniless for a married friend of DD.
Let's have a joint funeral, it might be cheaper!

Shysal I'm in

Anyone else looking at this thread got an add for Family Mediation Services how do the pick up on it so fast

I have an ad blocker on my laptop, so wouldn't have seen it, and my tablet is showing a lady shaver. Perhaps it has read my comments about having a hairy chin!

Shall we send the grans in?

shysal

Sending every good wish to all in this situation, I seem to remember posting some sort of a "curse" on here for someone's ex SIL, might have been kittylester's ??

You did and it made me laugh phoenix but it didn't work!

Wouldn't your DD paying be worth it Lona?

yattypung

Another one here!

Although I have to say since he has remarried he has been too busy to keep up the 'annoying'.

I totally understand the heartbreak for any mother or father who suddenly find themselves in the nightmare situation of being separated from their children but when they can't see that for the benefit of all, especially the children' it is wise to keep things with as little acrimony as possible then I'm afraid it is a case of one party having to be the better person in trying to keep things from the children, as your DD is no doubt doing.

It's so sad to see our children's dreams of a happy family go up in smoke and even more so to think of our beloved grandchildren having to deal with the consequences too isn't it.

Yep. I'm in a similar position. Ex SIL is so abusive by text to DD. Every problem in the world is her fault. Child maintenance? Hah! Not a penny. He is a gambler.

But here's the latest.....
DD finally broke away and started a relationship with s o else. What did ESIL do? Got friendly with the ex wife of this man. His best friend is now going out with her and unpleasant lies about DD are being passed on to DD's new man. This is having a negative effect on the new relationship as the new man actually believes them, accusing DD of all sorts of stuff. Really weird! I feel so sorry for DD.

Sorry that it didn't Kitty, but glad it amused you!

Perhaps if we ALL chanted it at the same time, the collective force of the grand might have some effect?

Grans, not grand, damn Hudl!

Judthepud I'm not in anyway trying to trivialise your DD problems

My Ds ex didn't only make friends with her new mans ex he now has a baby with her !! However, he insists he loves D and wants her back. It would be funny if it wasn't so awful.

Name the date and time for the chant to begin phoenix
I also remember there was a suggestion at the same time that we bump off each others ex SiL so no link to each of us

DD'S ex rang her new partner's ex-wife to see if she would tell DD he was on the sex register. They are just warped!

I'm up for swapping ' victim sons in law so long as the person that does mine makes it reallyslow and painful.

phoenix, I've tried searching for your incantation and I can't find it!

{grin]

Could you post the incantation again please phoenix? Sounds like it would be popular on this site.

To all GNers dealing with idiot ESILs, big ((hugs)). F

Oh heavens, can't for the life of me remember, but I think GNHQ may have used it as one of things in the news doo daas.

Thanks to everyone who has posted, its good to know that I'm not the only one with murderous thoughts! I'm normally a very peaceful sort of person, so it makes me even more mad that this idiot can provoke such terrible thoughts in my head. I'm a great believer in karma, but wish it would happen sooner rather than later!!