Son's wedding coming up - I don't know if I can go.

Well done Emerald. Try and enjoy the day and not worry about anyone else.. I do so hope you enjoy it.

please, please go. You may regret it forever if you don't. Hold your head high, go with those that love you and support your daughter - who also loves you.

Please go. Remember, you can only be hurt by someone if you allow them to. [Easier said than done, I know as I'm completely estranged from both my sisters, who pretend I don't exists. Not invited to weddings, no news, nothing for 15 years... ]

Otherwise you will regret it for ever.

grandMattie Their loss.

The big day is here. Yesterday I felt reasonably chilled about it, probably because I've had a busy week & not had time to dwell on it. This morning I'm a mess. Can't stop crying, feel sick, panic setting in, worried about stupid things like my outfit & shoes & crazy stuff that my rational mind knows will be fine & I'm the only one who'll notice if my hair isn't just right & my shoes are pinching. In 12 hours I'll be back home, in 12 hours I'll be back home....

Back sraight, head high, chin out and when you walk in just remember all that army of grans who are walking in with you, an invisible army to support you. You alone will know we are there and that we are your strength. Then just enjoy it.

Emerald stop listening to those little voices in your head and listen to your rational voice instead.
You're a brave, strong woman - keep that thought in your head and smile, concentrate on your son and his new wife and how pleased to they will be that you are there.

Emerald Good luck, go forth and show them what you are made of! Like ann said, we are all behind you, willing you on and holding your hand. Let us know later how it went. Have a brandy for those nerves too, only a small one mind, just to settle your stomach. Xxx

Deep breaths and off you go to enjoy the day. We're all there with you in spirit and

Just come on line so you're probably already there and I wouldn't mind betting you'll have a wonderful day, and be so please you decided to go.

I am sure it is going fine and I am greatly amused by the idea of the warrior grans in your wake!

I have just played at a wedding where the bride was very late - we had to keep filling in for 50 minutes!!!!!!!

Hope it went well Emerald and you enjoyed yourself. I've been in similar circumstances at my dd's wedding but I was warmly greeted by everyone although I was a gibbering mess inside!

Have had my fingers crossed for you. Really hope it went well or even OK and that you managed a lot better than you feared you might. Please let us know how you got on.

Been thinking about you Emerald, ann is right about that army marching with you. Can I uncross my fingers now?

Hope you have had a great day and are now dancing the night away ??????

I've only just seen this and really hope that you went and had a lovely time watching your son on his special day. I hope you felt supported enough by those around you who understood your dilemma and worries and that you can look back knowing you did what was best for you.

Gosh, thank you all so much for your support & well wishes. I sat in the ladies saying to myself that I had an army of grans around me, it did help. I only cried a couple of times in public, once at the actual wedding, which was fine because people cry at weddings anyway. The second time was at the meal when the brides father gestured to my son's step mum when he said the grooms father & mother. My son who got married chose to sit his dad & step mum at the top table, with me in with everyone else. Wish I'd known the plan beforehand so I could prepare, even my pregnant daughter, his sister, didn't know. We left straight after the meal. If I'm honest, I now wish I hadn't gone. Though I know I am feeling very emotional today. I didn't realise that the relationship with the son who got married had deteriorated so badly that I was snubbed in that way. If I hadn't gone I could just have blamed myself for the rest of my life for not going instead of feeling humiliated, I don't know which is worse. They were perfectly lovely to me, most people were. Estranged son didn't acknowledge me & my mother paraded around making a big fuss of my grandchildren in front of me. I need to get a grip really & realise that my mother is a sad, bitter & twisted person & I need to let go of my sons. I can't spend my life hoping for crumbs, which is all I will get. I need to cut ties & move on with the rest of my life. I have two daughters who love me & were so supportive yesterday & a husband who loves me, which I know is more than so many people have. Today I grieve for the relationship I now feel I have lost with my other son.

So proud of you Emerald. You did it. Yes, it was hard but you were there. I can only guess how hard to see grandchildren and not being able to give them a hug. The grief you are feeling today is quite normal. There is a relationship with your son, but not the one you quite understandably want. The top table thing is such a minefield, there was a thread not long ago about it that told stories of pain such as yours. Others at the reception would understand the difficulty for you as will people here. Thinking about it now I am even more proud, you coped with so much and got through it. Please try to remember those moments when people were lovely to you (does that include your son and his new wife?), you have many who understand in your real and virtual worlds. I'm so sorry you are upset today, let your lovely husband look after you and try to reflect on the nice things from yesterday. Above all be proud of your achievement. Sending hugs and and some for later.

Just read through the posts. So glad you have decided to go. I hope you have a wonderful time x

Actually I think that was very rude of the bride's father to do that in his speech. I would have been tempted to stand up and tell him he had made an error! Mins you the woman concerned probably felt a bit embarrassed about it knowing you were sitting there.
I am glad you went as otherwise you would always have wondered about it. If you had managed to stay a bit longer you may have been able to speak to a few other people. Well done for going and sticking out the main part. Maybe your son will have felt a pang of guilt when he realises what he had done to you.

It took courage to attend given the family situation and you knew it would be difficult but you did it. it is understandable you have very mixed feelings today but hope in time you are glad that you made the effort. No one can say you snubbed them by not going and no one can doubt the courage it took to be there. Well done. Now as it's early put the kettle on and later pour yourself a nice glass of something. You have a loving husband, a son and two daughters, a grandchild soon to be born very soon, you have a lot to look forward to.

Bless you, Emerald. Perhaps the snub was unintentional - I do hope so. People do often make blunders during wedding speeches, and the seating arrangements might have just been down to thoughtlessness. Weddings are a minefield! But whatever the situation with your sons, you still have the love and support of your daughters (and another grandchild to look forward to).

Please go. You can have a twisted ankle fairly early on if you don't want to stay but go.

Anxiety robs us of so much as it is and you will be just as anxious afterwards if you don't go about who said what or how things went.

You are invited which shows love and welcome, your new husband and daughter also invited, shows care and tact, things cannot ever come right if we don't give them a chance.

Be your charming self and make someone else's day complete..and build you get out clause into everything, so you can leave with good grace if you feel the need.

Lots of people go to weddings with feelings similar to yours, other people at this one will be feeling mixed emotions, I am still all for stabbing my ex in the eye with a sharp pencil, so well done you for being the better woman and dealing with yours.

Champagne and cake have to count for something and watching your child marry and seeing people, even if you don't speak, smile and nod, get those communications going again.

You sound as if you have fabulous support, be your fabulous self and go along.

Whatever you feel today you were still right to go. People do try to rewrite history don't they? I stalk my nephew and niece on Facebook and sadly watch as his various ex wives try to say how like their new husbands his adult children are.

I believe you should go to the wedding.Failure to go will only give those who have not been kind to you more opportunities to throw more sticks and stones at you.Its only for a few hours then go home and relax among those who really love and respect you.