Husband not invited to a friend's birthday party

DH and i live independent lives. DH regularly goes to garden shows, Christmas dinners and birthday parties to which I am not invited. If I wish to be included I ask for example 'when is the Art Society Xmas dinner this year?' 'Lets put it on the calendar so we are both free to go. Then we both go. Sometimes, if I'm already busy I do not want extra social events, I cant be bothered. I am attending my retired union members Christmas dinner, asked husband, he does not wish to go which I knew he didn't.

You should just do what suits you.

I dont think birthday boy is weird not asking the husband, I dont like my sisters husband, cant stand him, so she comes to stay without him. I would Just say going out to a do, no details, will be back around xxx time or just say late, and go. You are your own person with your own life. As long as you can have the life you want without stress then I can see why you stay. But if on the otherhand you are having to compromise and worry about what he will say then its a different matter, out of interest, do you go on holiday together?

I should come clean. There may be other mutual acquaintances there and he might hear about it afterwards.. Would it bother him to hear that he hadn't been invited?

I agree with JackyB, would be more difficult for you if your husband heard about it from someone else.
The birthday host sounds a little odd so I'm not sure if this an issue worth the confrontation. Maybe you need to look at how things are working between you and decide if this is really how you want to live your life. Good luck whatever road you take.

Sorry - I hadn't been checking for further responses lately! Things had moved on in that I saw my friend who said that she had told her DH (birthday boy) that he had to call me himself to invite me. So, I sort of felt uninvited! I suggested to her that he could email me if that would make it easier. A week passed before I got a very brief message from him (via my friend's email address so not even sure if he wrote it). I decided to tell a little white lie saying I would be busy and probably not back in time, declining his kind invitation as by that stage I really didn't feel like going. My main concern was not to upset my friend. I got birthday boy a nice present and am actually relieved (I don't even like parties much!).

My situation is not ideal but I was pleased to hear that some other Gransnetters lead rather separate social lives to their husbands too. I still sometimes feel a bit sad and envious when I see couples together who obviously enjoy each other's company; but then I remind myself that I have lovely friends and great times with them. Some of my friends have been single for many years and I know that they can feel down and lonely at times but are generally making the most of life, as am I in my own way.