Gift Receiving Etiquette

Too right I'd make sure I got whoever it was to sign it - it was either a case of genuine oversight or one of deliberate omission, guessing that you wouldn't pursue the matter.

Well done to your DH (although I hope he was tactful about it!)

You say a banker's cheque, as though it is not one on a personal account? If that is so, perhaps the sender is not accustomed to using cheques and is not aware that an unsigned cheque is worth precisely nothing.

She was probably mortified at having made the mistake, but I really don't see that you should have felt embarrassed and "lowering yourself" in reminding her. She'd have felt even worse if she found out later that you had rejected the gift, and why. If she had invited you to a meal her but forgotten to give you her address you would have asked her for it wouldn't you?

Good for DH for being sensible and treating it so calmly.

yes, perhaps the term 'lowering myself' wasn't quite the way to say it ...

I just felt that going and asking the sender to sign the cheque was akin to scrounging and I also felt that if it was a deliberate omission that it would look equally bad on our part?

Very difficult thing to deal with in any case

Think he was just sensible. I once bought a car from a friend for £500 and forgot to sign the cheque. I was glad they phoned and said. Could have been the end of a beautiful friendship if they thought I had done it on purpose!

Her mistake, not signing, she had intended it as a gift, so your DH was right to point it out and get it signed.

I once signed a cheque for Dynarod without my glasses on. Unknown to me it was my son's chequebook!! He had £170 taken from his account and queried it as he never writes cheques. The bank sent him a copy with my signature of course . We have totally different initials so obviously no- one checked it at all! P S I paid him back!!

An elderly family friend always used to send a cheque at Christmas for me to buy a present for the children when they were young. One year the usual Christmas card arrived with the usual note saying 'please give the children £10 each'. Unfortunately no cheque was enclosed! She was such a nice kind old lady that I couldn't possibly mention her lapse to her.

My parents once very kindly sent me a cheque as a present but made it out in my maiden name (I had been married for at least 30 years at the time). It was a bit of a problem to know what to do, but in the end I did tell them about it and they were mortified! They sent a new cheque forthwith and were very grateful that I hadn't just kept quiet about it. My father would soon have noticed if it hadn't been cashed, as he was always aware of what was going on in his account and had just had a senior moment.

We once received an unsigned cheque for goods that we had sold. When I asked for a signature, from a valued and repeat customer, the person signed it but with bad grace and never bought from us again. He was obviously affronted that I had pointed it out.

I don't understand how it is scrounging, the giver has intended for it to be cashed, and is probably taking it into account when checking balances etc hoping it'll be cashed soon (because people who take ages to cash cheques are annoying) so I think it actually messes the giver about to NOT get it signed and cashed, when they're budgeting for it to come out any day now.

I think I woukd have rung up and said many thanks for the cheque, but unfortunately it wasn't signed.

That's what I would have said, Luckylegs. Phone first and the embarrassment is out of the way before you ring the doorbell.
I haven't seen a cheque for decades - they are no longer in use in Germany.

If I sent someone a cheque but forgot to sign it I'd be very apologetic if they mentioned it to me, as it would clearly be my fault.
If I found out later that they said nothing, in case I'd done it on purpose, I'd be offended that they had thought that about me.

If someone did leave the cheque unsigned on purpose, they are the one who is ill-mannered and who has lowered themself.

For a while I used to write cheques at work which someone else signed and I found myself doing it with my own cheques out of habit. People never believe that it is an accident but it was just absent mindedness.
It's always worth giving people the benefit of the doubt.

I read about someone who was so cross that when she sent cheques to her relatives as presents she never got a thank you. She deliberately didn't sign them one year so they had to make contact then. Seriously been tempted to do it a few times myself!

Mumofmadboys - that brings back memories of working in a high street bank in the eighties. All the cheques drawn on the branch that came through the clearing system were sorted alphabetically each morning and divided into bundles. Each bundle was allocated to a member of staff - usually cashiers - who would then have to check every one for technicalities - date, not out of date or post dated, contain a payees name, words and figures matched and that they were signed in accordance with the mandate for the account. You were supposed to be familiar with all the signatures for your clearing bundle! Any problems meant the cheque was returned unpaid.
Eventually the system was altered and only cheques over £100 were checked and then later only over £500 - goodness knows what they do nowadays.

I had a problem some years ago as I always received a check from abroad (first from Kenya then from the USA when my friends moved there). The bank had always cashed these, though their cut took a large proportion. For the past few years the banks have refused to cash cheques under a certain amount so I thanked the sender for their kindness over the years but told them that I could no longer cash the cheques, as I realised they would probably notice if they weren't cashed. I had thought, and indeed hoped, that this would be the end of it, but now they send sterling.

My mum used to send cheques for birthdays and Christmas, but one year when she was starting to suffer from dementia, she wrote my DS's address instead of the amount. We gently told her and she changed it correctly.

Ah, money is a cause of such consternation. My elderly friend recently asked if she could leave me £100.000 in her will. I said 'you can leave what you like to people but I am not family' and she replied 'do I have to have the £100.000'

So I think that one was resolved quite quickly.

I thought bankers cheques were the same as cash and not like an ordinary one, they cost £25 now so they musy be rather special.

The banks must never check 8mumofmadboys*

Many years ago paid 2 cheques into the entirely wrong accounts. One was for someone at works wages (£300 ish) and the other was for several thousand pounds made payable to a company. I handed each over with the payment slip but got the 2 mixed up. The result was that the worker ended up with several thousands of pounds he knew were not his but refused to hand back (we got it back in small amounts over 5 years) and the company I was supposed to pay received the smaller amount. I had to sent them the full amount the following week.

Gillybob - If the bank accepted a cheque made payable to XX Ltd and deposited it to Mr YY's account then the receiving bank i.e. the one that accepted the deposit would have been liable and should have refunded the full amount iimmediately.

That's what you would think caoco but Barclays insisted that it was my fault that I had signed the paying in slip therefore I was liable. I wanted to deduct the pay from the employee who received the money even though he knew it was not his. He must've sought advice and presented me with am letter forbidding me from doing so. i did get it all back but it took years!

I sent an unsigned cheque to my DSiL for my niece and nephew. She rang to thank me for it and mentioned I hadn't signed it I apologised and asked her to destroy it and I would send another, signed one. Of course I would expect to be told if I had sent an unsigned cheque.

Thats terrible Gillybob - but Barclays always did have an awful reputation amongst the other banks. I worked for Lloyds, and can confirm that they should have never accepted the cheque and once they had they should have been liable. You were not to blame. Of course, back in the day banks and their employees were respected and not challenged, which is what they relied on to wheedle out of their responsibility. - then they started with the selling insurance etc and forgot they were a service industry - at which point I made a swift exit.