Sleeping in separate rooms

I know more than one couple who choose to keep separate houses, one pair not even in the same region of the country. It seems to work for them....

We started sleeping in separate beds due to my husband's health issues a few years back and have done so ever since. We always opt for singles beds in an hotel. When we go to his sister's, we have to sleep in a double bed and absolutely hate it! So uncomfortable!!! We only have one bedroomed flat so don't have a choice but thankfully having separate rooms is not an issue yet!!!!

If your husband wakes himself up snoring it could be sleep apnoea (sp) so definitely worth seeing the GP.

We had the coughing virus for three weeks but somehow survived waking each other up. And feeling wretched is made a little better by having a warm body beside you for a cuddle.

H often takes himself off to the spare room at silly o'clock in the morning as he's a bad sleeper. I'm quiet pleased when I do my trip to the bathroom at 5-6 am to know that I can go back to bed for an hour or so and not feel obliged to get up and let him sleep. Good friends of ours have had seperate rooms for several years due to him being diagnosed with 'restless leg syndrome' it dosen't affect their relationship

Many of my friends sleep in separate rooms. One of my cousins is not happy about it as she knows that's the end of her sex life. It is a very personal decision but I can't be bothered to deal with two lots of bed linen to wash, so we are still existing in the same bed. I'd like a bigger bed though for more comfort.

One of the best decisions we ever made - separate rooms and bathrooms! As others have said, different sleeping times and habits, not to mention snoring and other bodily noises (!) do not make for a good night's sleep nor is it particularly healthy. The only drawback I can find is having to struggle with changing two duvets!

Yes musical beds here when there's hawking and spitting. But does anyone else keep a tally of the times the spare beds have been slept in ? I am a very resentful sheet washer and duvet changer and there have to be seven separate sleeping aparts before I change the spare rooms. I wish I could whip off the sheets and take it in my stride.

We have slept in separate beds for the past few years - mainly due to my husband's health issues ( resulting in a very disturbed sleep, the need to be really warm and itchiness due to one of his medications). It's practical for us as seems to be the case for many who have posted. I did find myself having to explain this to our insurance company when we needed fairly long term alternative accommodation and realised I did feel ( very slightly) as if it was a failure of some sort to say we would need a bedroom each. We should do what's best for our situation/sanity and be confident that separate beds does not indicate failings in our relationships:romance, love, sex, tenderness, fun, consideration, mutual support... do not depend on sharing a bed every night.

My husband has always been a very restless sleeper, and five years ago I talked him into having separate single beds in the same room. They are made up separately but pushed next to each other, with our bedside tables on either side of the two singles. This seems to work well and I get a peaceful night's sleep. I am now 73 and my husband is 78.

I know several partners that sleep in different rooms, because one or both disturb the others night's sleep, they are as close now as they have always been, no use sleeping together because convention dictates, neither gets proper sleep which causes grumpiness & arguments that is when the problems start

We had two duvets for a while (on a king size bed)as DH would pull it off me or push it on me (his temperature control malfunctions)He hated it and we went back to one when I replaced the bed linen. He hates twin beds on holiday and would be appalled at separate rooms ....I don't think I'd like it much .In 34 years I think we have slept apart only once when I had a five month long cough which kept me awake never mind him
Tbf he snores ony when has had a fair bit to drink
I'd hate to share a washbasin though .

We have had seperate rooms for a while now, starting off when we had a spate of coughs, bronchitis, back problems and kept each other awake. It isnt the beginning of the end! I actually love it because I can read and listen to the radio before I go to sleep, whilst my husband can go to bed really early which he likes. I am also a poor sleeper so I dont have to worry about disturbing him when I am tossing and turning or getting up for a midnight stroll! Interestingly some of our friends have reacted as if divorce is just round the corner. I wonder if its about social custom and acceptability? We tell them we are like the aristocracy who invariably had seperate rooms! Our feeling is if it suits us both, then its up to us - and it doesnt mean the end of kisses, cuddles and the rest of it, because its really very easy to walk next door!

We have slept in separate years on and off for years with no ill effect on our relationship. My guess is that anyone who has a spare bedroom, and needs to get up to go to work feeling rested and restored needs to do this fairly often. Some people are so difficult to sleep with that its almost impossible to get any sleep in the same room with them. Particularly if they snore loudly and spend the night thrashing around!! This is just torture for the other person and will only cause trouble in the end!! If you get a good nights sleep you will be much happier, and if you want sex regularly, who should it stop you??

On the subject of changing duvets, there's a very helpful video on you tube No fuss or struggling with the thing. you just roll it up, tuck it under then roll it out again. I do it all the time now. It really works, even with a king sized duvet. One person can manage it, easy!

We had separate rooms when we turned 60. 10 years ago. The snoring, figiting, differences about ventilation were really affecting me. I redecorated our spare room and bought a new bed. It was a joint decision, but it was helped somewhat because DPs gout kept him awake and I was afraid to move in case I touched his foot.

Far from being the end, we both woke up feeling more refreshed. I used to really resent the fact that I would be kept awake for hours by his snoring, but would get a sharp dig, if I snored.

In the last few years, I have become a terrible sleeper. I now have an electric blanket, a kettle and an IPad to keep me company without disturbing him.

We bought one of those electronic beds where the top & bottom can go up & down so we each have a separate 3' 6" mattress on the base. It is amazing how much better we both sleep as you are never aware of the other one turning over & we have plenty of room each.
Perfect for us as we both like reading in bed so if one wants to sit up & read they can while the other one is lying flat. I often wake up in the night & want to read to get myself back to sleep so I don't disturb him. Back light on Kindle saves putting on a light too.
Might be a compromise for you.

We started sleeping separately after my mastectomy and during my radiotherapy. I found it liberating as did my husband and we now sleep apart and it works for both of us. I go to bed earlier than him and get up earlier so now we don't disturb each other at all.NOT the beginning of the end but a new and postive beginning for both uf us.

I was chatting to a lady in the library a while ago, she must have been about 85. She told me she didn't sleep too well and liked to read during the night. She and her husband had decided to have separate rooms so she didn't keep him awake. She then said very quietly 'Mind you, we have convivial visits' and winked...

We have a supering bed but even this is not big enough when trying to sleep next to someone who is restless and snoring.
We now have an 'arrangement' as snoring is worse after having a few beers and I am a very light sleeper. For several years now, if he has had a heavy night with his mates or us socialising with friends, then he sleeps in the spare room as we both know I will get very little sleep and without sleep I'm really not a happy bunny.
This has now progressed to when renting a holiday home here or abroad, I go for at least two bedrooms and we are both then rested, the last thing you want on holiday is to feel exhausted - we always have a cuddle in the morning and this seems to work well.
When we are in hotels I just have to put up with it. The strange thing is my husband sees this as my problem and not his!!

No, of course it isn't. We have slept in separate rooms for 10 years now. We both leave the door open so if you want you can visit, but we also get a good night's sleep. In my case my knees have arthritis so I have to get up and walk around sometimes, he snores for England so if we had the same bed I would be awake all night. You can always cuddle in the daytime if you want.

If sleeping in a separate bed/room made for a restful nights sleep for me or hubby I'm afraid that is where I'd be sleeping, my hubby agrees and when I had the discomfort of the broken shoulder he made sure I was comfortable on my own in the main bedroom for about 8 weeks.It has gone on from there as I do tend to go to bed earlier than him and he has no problem with the arrangement one bit,as for the personal side of things afternoon siesta's are certainly a thing to consider night time is not the only time to show affection.

Forgot to mention that OH has a mask at night due to sleep apnoea. The noise is very annoying and so that is another reason to sleep in separate rooms. Bit expensive if you go to a hotel, but we tend not to anyway.

All these different views just shows it is 'different strokes for different folks'! My H & I started to sleep in separate rooms after an illness, it was supposed to be a temporary measure but as we both quite liked it it went on for quite a few months & was becoming permanent. After a while though it did start causing problems. We seemed to bicker more, because I think we were starting to live more separate lives & more importantly, we didn't have the morning & evening little chats where, maybe subconsciously, we were talking through niggles. We resolved it by buying a Superking bed. Best money we ever spent! There is so much room each, you can really spread out without even touching your partner but importantly, we are there together.

I think we all go through that but as you get older, as with clothes and shoes, comfort takes over! We've both had various illnesses which has made us take turns in sleeping in the spare room and, after all his objections, he nearly made his stay in it permanent for a while.
Now we have single adjustable beds, fitted together and that makes very comfortable sleeping and helps the snoring issue too.