Sleeping in separate rooms

DH has cancer and has had radiotherapy which affects his thermostat so some nights he's ok, others he sweats buckets so bed is soaked. He also snores like a drill, getting worse the older he gets. I moved into spare room after his major operation as he was afraid I might hurt him in my sleep. It has been 6 months and I love the bed to myself, reading as long as I want, taking my hottie to bed to warm my cold feet which he always moaned about (bottle not my feet). He makes the odd, 'when you move back in our bed' but I avoid answer. I like being in my own bed. Sex is not on the agenda as due to meds he's on he has problems in that department. I like the status quo but how long it will stay like that, who knows.

CrazyGrandma2, yes he has sent off for various gadgets which have not worked very well although he may have been a bit uncomfortable so didn't persevere. I think the answer is for him to lost about a stone in weight.
Granarchist, we are going to South Goa. I don't know if the elections are all over India. We had an email from Thomas Cook warning us. The bars all have to close at the moment by 23.00 and then it is completely dry just before the election.

Go for it!! My late husband and I always slept in separate rooms. His snoring kept me awake, and my fidgeting kept him awake. So separate rooms (and earplugs for me), and we were both happy.

We do sleep in separate rooms when one has a cold or goes to bed late or thinks they might snore (after a few bevies) but I couldn't contemplate sleeping on my own for ever, I love our huge bed (extra king size!) and love reaching out and feeling my husband next to me. My parents shared a big double bed all their lives and when my father died my mother said she soo missed him in bed next to her .

Married 63 years this year and we have had separate beds and rooms since the sixties, neither of us would want otherwise.

I've just got over the cough,I stayed in our bed and he went in the spare,but it's in the same room as we knocked two rooms into one with bifold doors between.
We bought a super king bed about 6 months ago it's brilliant.Hes back in our bed now and he does snore! But I've got the gel earplugs from boots,and don't hear a thing.

We have used separate rooms quite a bit lately, because of seemingly endless coughs and snotty splutterings, which mean we disturb each other.

Even without coughs, I do sometimes go to a spare room, since I often don't sleep well and want to read or put the radio on - impossible with Dh asleep.
In such circs we do start off in the same bed, though.

This is one reason I have come to dread and avoid wherever possible hotel rooms - nowhere to escape to! And if we self cater I must have a spare room, just a single bed is fine.

I think this must be quite a common thing as people get older and don't sleep so well. I see no reason why it should be the beginning of the end, though, not if things are fine otherwise.

I've never really seen the significance of sleeping in the same bed (or room). We don't eat off the same plate or share the same bath so why share a bed. (OK- I know the reason when you are first married!) However, snoring can seriously damage your health (.... and his when you ultimately stab him!!!!) I would prefer to have separate rooms on holiday too if it was economically feasible!

We sleep separately because we have an elderly whippet who needs a wee in the night. Sometimes 2 or 3 visits to the garden. We were both getting really tired so now take nightly dog duties in turn. Has definitely not meant the end of our marriage!

If you are sleeping, what difference doe's it make. Unless you live in a mansion it's not exactly far across the landing or hallway.

I am sure that I would sleep better in a separate room as OH has PD and his tremor keeps me awake. But I would not decamp - he gets very anxious about it and I hold his shaking hand till he falls asleep. He also wakes with AF and needs someone by him.

My husband snores so loudly, we'd have to live in separate houses, let alone rooms so I have resorted to ear plugs. If I forget them, I poke him lots so he doesn't get any sleep either. It seems only fair

We do the same, Carole, & it works very well. We also have our own, single duvets, which is brilliant!

We've slept in separate rooms for years (and also lucky enough to have separate bathrooms). I much prefer the view from the spare room and love listening to iPlayer radio in the mornings. DH always listens to the Today programme which I can't bear. Coming up for our golden wedding so works well for us!

We start off in the same bed and occasionally wake in it together, but very often I creep off to another room to listen to podcasts till I fall asleep again. My husband wakes a lot but is quiet and still,so I move so I can wriggle when necessary without waking him thoroughly.This works really well for us.

Nothing worse than disturbed sleep. I still have night sweats and couldn,t bear to have anyone next to me. It sounds like you have a good solid relationship so have that 'talk'

DH usually sleeps in the spare room because of a snoring problem (both of us). But we specifically still have "our" bedroom: DH hasn't moved his things out of it. (Both rooms have king-size beds.) Every morning DH wakes before me, brings tea, and joins me for a cuddle. When we have visitors we do sleep together - similarly when going away, though where possible we'll seek a super-king bed or two singles. I think that it's important to talk about sleeping arrangements, what you each want - and why. Not just to "let it happen".

Sleeping in seperate rooms is great, even the Queen has her own room.
We have slept like this since I had a bad back 20 years. If Either wake, which you do when older. Now we read put radio on read, without stirring each other, also makes it more romantic when you creep in each other's beds.

Seaside lady.

How about twin beds, that way you can be together but not disturb each other so much. I suggested this when we were in our middle sixties but my dh was against the idea. Sadly he became very ill with cancer and we were still in a double bed. He was so uncomfortable and tried not to disturb me but needed me to be close by. If only I had pushed for the twin beds idea.

Luckygirl,I feel ashamed for complaining, although I would probably do the same if our circumstances were like yours.

We too do the separate rooms when poorly scenario. I am a poor sleeper now and DH's snoring drives me mad if I am having a bad night but I have discovered a great solution. I'm surprised no one else has mentioned it. I turn upside down in the bed. It seems to work for me. No snores directly in my ear!

Question... why didn't he go to the spare room?

We sleep in separate rooms. He snores, I toss and turn all the time and wake up several times a night. We each have a double bed, I can put up with twin beds on holiday but I like to have lots of room. His bed is very hard and I like mine softer. I couldn't go back to sharing, probably because I got used to sleeping alone before I met him. Doesn't prevent us having a love life though.

I do share my room with the dog, but he sleeps on the floor or in his basket, he knows not to get on the bed. It just means I can keep the bedroom door shut so the dog and the cat aren't chasing each other up and down the stairs all night.

We have slept separately for several years now. I am a terrible snorer! also I go to bed later than my husband and like to read, whereas he goes straight to sleep.
Every morning he comes into my bedroom early and we have an hour to be together in the same bed. I think hotels should offer a little side room off the bedroom so couples can have a good night's sleep if they need to sleep apart.
Remember in the old days the lady of the Manor always had her own bedchamber!

DH has discovered a different snore , which he carries out with gusto. It begins with something like a whimper, then a whine then the groaning starts.... Can't stand it, so here I am, in the spare room, in a bed not quite long enough and with the cat plonked slap-bang in the middle of the eiderdown, because she was here first.