Someone asked DH if I was still alive - AIBU to be hopping mad?

I wouldn't like it, but wouldn't be too upset. I can't help but wonder how your DH would have felt if you hadn't been! Very insensitive question!

She may have been angling for a date with your hubs but I suspect she's just tactless. I've noticed I'm far more tactless than I used to be. I think as we get older some of us open our mouths without fully engaging our brains!

just what I thought Acanthus

Think I would have made a lighthearted jokey comment. Exception? Never.

Why would your husband take 'delight' in such an enquiry? Could be that the woman made a perfectly well-intentioned query, along the lines that Shysal is thinking of doing, but he wrongly interpreted her.

In that way that men often do, he's taken it as though she has designs on him - poor woman!

Thank you for all your comments. I've regained my equilibrium now, although I still think it was a silly and ill-mannered thing to say. For those who can't see why I was niggled - just think how you would react, seriously.
JackyB and others - yes, I think you're right - my husband would be quite a 'catch' in many ways, and he does come into contact with some desperate women, of which this particular acquaintance is a prime example. At least he tells me of such encounters, so I am grateful for that. I'll start worrying when he doesn't.

A rude and very odd remark to make that has a tinge of spite to it. It certainly wasn't said in innocence in my opinion.

A little unreasonable ..... Perhaps your DH is always on his own when he sees her so she made an assumption. But secretly I think your DH is trying to make you jealous by giving the impression that she's checking out the competition.
So don't give it another thought ....

From personal experience I find that most men of a certain age (ie old men) think they're 'God's gift to women' and will make unwelcome approaches!

Does he look like George Clooney?
My DH thinks he's the spitting image of Robert Redord in his prime. Should have gone to Specsavers .....

I just think it's really amusing. I mean I would if it happened to me.

Our next door neighbour, who is in her 90s, summoned an ambulance after a fall and I had no idea afterwards what had happened to her. I had to wait until I saw a friend of her going into the house to ask.

As i have her daughter's phone number, my friend thought it was quite reasonable to ring up and ask if her mother was dead but I preferred to find out in a subtler manner!

I do think it is a very odd way to put it, but I guess if she wanted to know she just asked directly!

Mountains and molehills spring to mind. At least as she asked outright she knows you're husband isn't up for grabs but don't ever go for a cuppa with her unless you have somebody to taste it first

Teddy 123 I m totally on your wavelength I think a) it may have been said differently to how it was reported and b) why would the husband delight in telling you or even telling you at all unless he wanted a reaction ...and he certainly got it

Acanthus sounds a bit odd to ask such a direct question without any reason to think you'd have died?? If you haven't been ill I'd be wondering if she's chasing your husband maybe? Or if he hasn't told you the whole conversation?
Shysal can you maybe say 'are you on your own today?' Rather than directly asking about the ladies husband if you don't know them very well. She may or may not want to share her business with someone she doesn't know too well. Lovely of you to notice and be concerned ?

Not rude at all just tactless, maybe someone had said something, but she still shouldn't have asked, ignore her she is trying to cause problems

Teddy123, do you know you made me laugh when I had just sipped my tea, and spluttered all over my Tablet! Loved the Specs aversion


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Teddy123, loved the specsavers remark.

It was rude and creepy. I was in the hairdressers one day and two elderly ladies met. One said "I didn't expect to see you". The other replied "Did you think I was dead". I thought it was a weird conversation.

Acanthus Well I think it was very rude and tactless of her and yes maybe she had designs on your husband. I would have been upset too. But a bit tactless of your husband to pass it on to you!

years ago OH was stuck for a companion to go to a whist drive , I play but not ususually good enough for him . I was introduced to the blue rinse brigade who were taken aback .We didn'know be was married hissed one " lady " I simmered but was able to laugh later .......... much later !

Someone once asked me if my husband was still alive - we would have been in our late fifties at the time! I was quite astonished, but then remembered that she was a widow , and maybe thought everyone was likely to die young!

After an afternoon with the DGC yesterday, when they had gone, I wasn't sure if I was still alive.

At least she didn't say " Is she dead yet?"

When people phone me and ask to speak to my husband, I ask them if they wknow a good medium?
He died 14years ago this month
They presume that Dr Galen is my is my husband!
It's not! It's ME
OVER FIFTY % Of medical graduates are female now! In my day it was 20%

I would think it funny if it were me and presumably your H did too. Personally I wouldnt give it a second thought!
Rude? No
Tactless : yes
Confused: maybe

Unless you were incredibly old (over 100) or known to be suffering from a terminal illness, neither of which seems to be the case, it is odd and a bit rude to ask this.

I could imagine someone using the phrase "Is your husband/wife still alive?" if they were speaking to someone they didn't really know and just wanted factual information.