Someone asked DH if I was still alive - AIBU to be hopping mad?

It's just a way of saying 'I haven't seen her for some time's. I often phone my father and open with 'just seeing if you're still breathing!'. Calm down. Always look for the reading that WASN'T intended to cause offense!

It's comforting to know that many share my opinion about rudeness; for those of you who don't.. come on, would you in all honesty go up to someone and baldly ask if their partner was still alive? Especially if you had no reason to suspect ill-health or great age? As for my DH looking like George Clooney - yes, in his younger days, though I tend to think of him now as George Looney. And yes, it was down to his tactlessness rather than spite, and he's made up for it.

Thanks to those who made suggestions for approaching my aquaintance. I shall say something tactful unless it comes out all wrong, as can sometimes happen with my shyness!

Just an incredibly tactless remark, I'm guessing, from someone who doesn't stop to think. My husband would've found it funny (hilarious) on reporting back and after my initial 'WHAT??? - b****y cheek!' would've both had a good giggle. Go on, laugh about it!

Was it asked in jest or seriously ? did your husband laugh when he told you ? I think if he thought she had designs on him he wouldn't have told you ...especially if he knew how you were likely to take it ! I would just laugh it off ...unless you read you obituary in the paper !!

If you know this woman, and she is a local, next time you see her I would laugh and say 'Oh YOU are still alive then !' and see what happens

I would have laughed and imagine it was said in jest. Past a certain age my friends and I feel that we are now living on borrowed time and a question like that said with a merry twinkle would not be taken as offensive. Really depends on the look on her face when she asked the question.

I'm not convinced she asked whether the OP was dead or merely asked how she was. Husbands can think they're being very witty when they're not, really.

I think it's insensitive, regardless of the age of OP and her DH... and she likely is that way with all of her friends and family, not just casual acquaintances.

If I don't see someone for quite some time, I always dance around, but finally just ask, how is so-and-so.

Some time ago we had old acquaintances who live far away call in on a visit to this area, my husband answered the door and invited them in then called me to come and see them. Such relief on their faces - they had been told I had died! I too felt most put out by the person who had relayed this news to them and promised to haunt them. Chinese whispers I'm afraid in a small community.

I'm with you acanthus! Unless this woman is a total fool, I would be terribly annoyed at her for asking my husband if I was 'still alive'. It sounds like wishful thinking on her part and that is not funny.

It could also be interpreted as a subtle hint that if something were to happen to you and he needed 'comfort', she would be up to the task.

The fact that you're husband told you about it however says a) He wanted to share with you because you're still his number one b) Her not so subtle 'come on' may have been understandably flattering c)The fact that he was so amused by the whole thing, is likely because he's not even remotely attracted to her.

I'd be more upset that my husband 'took great delight' in passing on this message.

I'd have been inclined to answer : "Yes.. And she'll no doubt be pleased to hear that you survived your charisma bypass operation... "

She fancies your husband, that's why she asked.

Acanthus no I wouldn't ask someone like that myself but I wouldn't be upset if someone asked after me like that. I'd definitely think they were crass but on the other hand I wouldn't be upset about it, I just tend to laugh when I meet social ineptitude.

Alive and kicking, bloody cheek.

As mubwise mum would have said. "Dismiss it whence it cometh!"

Ooooo acanthus so he did look like the gorgeous George. Lucky you. My DH has a female gym buddy ..... I shall say no more !! I'm glad he's made it up to you.
Have a lovely evening, gorgeous & sunny here.

Ps George LOONEY really made me giggle

Not rude, but a strange way of putting it.

I can see why you feel like that - why would he take 'delight' in telling you this? Hope you told him how his reaction upset you. xx

Acanthus, I don't think you are being unreasonable. What she said was tactless and cheeky.

When in doubt a' hello are you ok?' That way the onus is on the other person as to how they respond.

Even if she is after your husband at least she is prepared to wait until you have no further claims ???

She looking for a sugar daddy!! What an odd thing to say.

I thought someone had died and as dutiful vicar's wife passed the sad news on to my husband. Come Sunday morning my husband passed on to the congregation sadly I had got the information wrong. Mixed reaction some angry majority recognised an honest mistake