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Support can i empathise that word please thread for families or anyone undergoing trauma through estrangement also positive moving on for us all

(129 Posts)
celebgran Mon 15-May-17 19:23:59

I do hope this new thread can be positive and not hijacked by unwanted nastiness.

Bibbity Mon 15-May-17 19:31:28

FGSqelcome to the internet!
Just because someone isn't bowing down to you or even Heaven forbid disagrees with you doesn't not mean they are nasty!

Norah Mon 15-May-17 19:32:23

Celeb, did you not understand?

I think it is wonderful that you understand the privacy issues your ED and her hubby may have. It was a compliment to not digging around in their private affairs. I feel the same way about my Daughters. I would never ask intrusive questions about their MIL address or any of the issues here.

annsixty Mon 15-May-17 19:36:35

I have to say I hoped that this thread would not be carried on and you would all support each other privately.
It became very divisive and unsupportive and that was not always the fault of "incomers" who often came in with good but unwelcome thoughts and wise suggestions.

celebgran Mon 15-May-17 19:49:47

Annsixty i don't think the regular suporters on here are particularly interested in your negative posts. How dare you presume to tell us what to do?

Thanks Norah I did understand after a fashion did you mean because I refused to post photo of Estranged Gd? It just came across patronising,

Anya can't really believe you have nerve to personally insult,me manners isn't a word that seems well known to some people on here,

Norah realised I had misunderstood her post.

Personally wonderful suport I have received on here and privately from lucklegs, yogagirl eddiecate fairdoll smilless and rhinestone has been incredible and long may ojrmsuport thread continue,

No one forces you to post annsixty indeed why do you?

celebgran Mon 15-May-17 19:52:06

Sorry if I forgotten anyone!

Feel so tired as managed do 2 clients pedicures and get to my gastroentologist appt whichnwas good news., apart from him not being able to use computer!

Katek Mon 15-May-17 19:53:13

Can I say that I hope regular posters on the support thread will stop using their sad estrangements as protective cover. You cannot sit behind its barricade, lob grenades over the top and not expect any repercussions. On all topics other than your estrangements (actually I believe some people wouid include them) you stand in exactly the same position as any other GNetter. They do not buy you exemption from comments you consider 'nasty'.

Katek Mon 15-May-17 20:01:12

Celebgran, I'm confused. I thought you said you were a legal secretary??

Fairydoll2030 Mon 15-May-17 20:11:58

I cannot, for the life of me, see why anyone should object to this support thread.
It was set up by estranged parents/grandparents. It helps them survive the pain of estrangement.

From my observations over the past three years, it seems that all the disruptions and 'hijacking' of the thread are caused by, what I assume to be, non-estranged parents/grandparents.

If estranged parents/grandparents gather some comfort from posting here and responding to Internet friends, is that such a dreadful sin??

No-one is forced to read the posts here. No-one. Very unfortunately, the so-called advice offered by non-estranged posters is often thinly disguised criticism.
Please remember that the regular posters here have often tried all channels to re-establish a relationship with their estrianged relatives yet often, in so many words, they are told its their own fault - often in quite a cruel manner. If a 'regular' responds angrily, they are told 'Oh, I can see why'you are estranged.

Is it possible, please, to just leave these posters alone to support each other?
Are they really doing harm to anyone? Can anyone really object to this?

Fairydoll2030 Mon 15-May-17 20:13:39

KateK. Celeb said she WAS a legal secretary, past tense.

Do you really get some satisfaction out of nitpicking?

Katek Mon 15-May-17 20:27:46

No objections whatsoever to them supporting one another and I'm sure the rest of GN doesn't have a problem either. Where it breaks down is when someone apart from the regular posters makes a reasonable comment and is met with a positive tirade of 'nastiness' . (Actually, to tell the truth, I hate that word, along with 'nasty', my 4 year old dgs uses it, not a word I expect from adults) This an open forum and posters on this thread need to recognise that anyone can post on it, it is not closed or private. Suggestions have been made as to turning this thread into a private group but they have been rejected out of hand. Regular posters have to stop attacking any 'outsider' for having different opinions, ideas or suggestions and become a bit less aggressive/resistant to differing viewpoints.

Bibbity Mon 15-May-17 20:33:05

How dare you presume to tell us what to do?

You mean like you do when you tell people they can't post on certain threads?

Katek Mon 15-May-17 20:34:38 have just completely proven my points!! I was genuinely confused as to how a legal secretary was now a beautician. Could have been an interesting story but no, you have to jump in with a sarcastic comment. I've attached a pic of my nails....this is one of the reasons I was interested in Celeb's work, I'm a bit of a nail freak myself. Nice one fairydoll-think that's called an own goal.

Bibbity Mon 15-May-17 20:38:26

Kat, what colour is that?

Katek Mon 15-May-17 20:45:34

Blueberry Crush. It's a Gelux colour.

Fairydoll2030 Mon 15-May-17 20:49:00


I did not presume to tell you what to do!!!! I ASKED.
You really must chill out.

I understand you've been sent a reminder from Gransnet that this is, or was, a support thread????

Fairydoll2030 Mon 15-May-17 20:50:36

Oh, apologies Katek. I should have realised that of course you were genuinely interested in Celebs occupation......

Nice nails

annsixty Mon 15-May-17 20:54:53

Because I can Celebgran and I will.

Bibbity Mon 15-May-17 20:55:50

Fairy doll my reply was to Celeb.
I literally copy and pasted from her post.

And no I haven't I just checked....but I've also not broken any rules so why would they?

Bibbity Mon 15-May-17 20:56:31

And I really couldn't be more chilled. Can't say the same for you though.

grannygrace Mon 15-May-17 21:01:32

Ladies any of us that are not "regulars" or in the clique are never going to be able to make a valid comment without it being considered nasty or unhelpful. I repeat I am an estranged parent,going on 10 years now, fortunately no GC from the relationship.But I have moved on,case of having to. All these recent posts have blown out of all proportion because I dared question a members attitude to someone having tattoos,who then proceeded to make a sweeping statement that professionals shouldn't have tattoos.Yet their own DD is a professional and has one. One poster in particular seems to have anger issues,as they see every comment as an attack on them personally.Ever post that isn't to their liking is torn to shreds and the poster attacked, then we are called nasty!! Unless you pat them on the head and say there,there and yes I agree with your every word, you are deemed as an interloper intent on stirring up trouble.When the opposite is true in the majority of cases. You talk about moving on,but apart from one lady who regularly posts,I don't see much moving on being done. Opinions aren't really welcome unless you say what they want to hear, I fully agree if you do not want peoples own personal opinions (the same way you give your) then have a closed thread. I notice any new posters don't stay long as it's not support it's a pit party. One likes to speak their mind, and can be very mean in their responses. But heaven forbid anyone who responds like for like.Narcissistic I think the word is.

Fairydoll2030 Mon 15-May-17 21:03:31

I'm almost horizontal!

And, can I saythat for a relatively young, fantastically 'happy' young mum you exhibit an almost extraordinary interest in winding up estranged parents/grandparents (your posts 14/5).

Katek Mon 15-May-17 21:06:29

Forget trying to find a point of commonality fairydoll where Celeb and I could have an innocent conversation-as we have done before on occasion. We don't all have ulterior motives you know.

Fairydoll2030 Mon 15-May-17 21:07:36

Narcissistic is a very sweeping statement! Think that's proved my point!

Bibbity Mon 15-May-17 21:13:08

Fairy doll I am currently breastfeeding a wriggly 11 month old who wants to party this is pretty much all I have to do right now.

I don't want to upset anyone. But I have just as much right to post here as anyone else.
If some posters find themselves wound up then maybe it is them who should put the devices down and walk away.