Continued support and fun aspects too of rebuilding lives after estrangement can't believe 4 years and we still here to offer help, friendship and support.TWO

Does anyone else worry sometimes, that the one child you do have a good relationship with could change and distance themselves too?

Oh yes lucklegs but I look at Steve and hear his voice leaving me message saying love you mum (like Smilelss never want to delete them) and I know he hasn't got itin him to be so cruel, I don't think that many people have.

he has reassured me several times that he would. NEver do that,
I also know he wouldn't dream of going to police if w sent him birthday card, in all honesty is that normal behaviour?

I think we were extremely unlucky wih our daughter as my sister says and also her choice of partner who was wolf in sheeps clothing but you can't blame him totally do you think Smilelss ? Whatever happens our daughter knows she has broken our hearts and been unforgivably cruel to us, and the begging pleading cards and 8 years of lovingly chosen gifts and cards all totally ignored, what sort of person could do this?

I couldn't do this to anyone let alone my dear late mum, however much she annoyed,me she was my mum and I loved her, still do and miss her every day even after over 30 years,

My nephews say final goodbye to their mum today and I feel for them so much nearly everyone is totally bereft to lose their mum.

Of course I think if I don't recover from surgery my daughter won't even know and I don't want hernat my funeral.
That saddens me naturally I would be strange mum if it didn't but it is her problem, her choice and I can't go back to that pleading desperate woman always hoping and looking for post esepcialy first couple of years was anyone else like that?
I just couldn't believe she didn't want me or need me anymore,

I get it now!?

But we have rebuilt our lives and dare I say it we are ? happy.
There will always be apinful moments but I am better at coping,
Thanks goodness I have had lot longer than most of you ladies..

Painful moments it would t be me would it do that long post with Out typo.

This is happier post the strawberry, tea at my closest friends was delightful it really was, dh took me and collected me, then we went off to see ballet at. Mercury, it was wonderful day,

Mum double cream with strawberry ? lovely but scales are showing 1lb up be careful today.

We have some beautiful plants to set today well dh will do most I will do my boss mode, sadly cos I adore gardening,
Hoovering ironing will have to swirl
Off acquacise first then to church say prayer light candle, for my late s i law,

Swirl love it, may iron couple favourite tops.

Luckylegs When my son told me two weeks ago that he will see me again in two years I thought that was more cruel than the actual estrangement. I think we will all feel that way if there is any reconciliation.
Yes I have thought of the possibility of estrangement with my daughter but I doubt that would happen. She is not happy with what her brother did and what her estranged stepbrother is doing. She believes like I do that unless there was abuse that took place, people should communicate and work out their problems.
She is currently seeing a counselor to help with her "father issues" as he was verbally abusive to her and still is. Yet she will not estrange herself from him. It's sort of an opposite grandparent problem as her father hasn't seen her children since February and she can't understand why a grandparent wouldn't want to see their GC living in the same city. Strange us humans.

Yes strange is word rhinestone my daughter told a solicitor that I had verbally and physicslly abused her, but we didn't realise least of all me. We used to argue,but she could abuse me verbally looking back,

Yet I still have drawer full of cards telling me what wonderful mum I was, a photograph frame engraved love you mum. It is sad so I can't dwell on it,
However the real blow below the belt was to use my depression is suffered from on and off since my dad died suddenly when I was 16 against me and despite fact i fortunately not suffered for over 15 years now and not been on any medication for longer than that my daughter said I would be a danger to my children,

The solicitor said that was nonsense but that she could betray me by stooping so low was final nail In coffin for me,

Well made acquacsie and swam 12 lengths sadly a stupid pool attendant removed my bag so made me Walk extra my fault really as lockers are too high or low for my back In end she apologised and offered to help me in Future,

Well off have lunch In Garden enjoy ☀️ all of you x

Our solicitor said were social services involved of course they were t and I was In Bits that she could say that now I realise it is her problem not mine let her get on with it.

Rhinestone is it your husband that your daughter has issues with? His own daughter or stepdaughters

celebgran yes I can remember begging and pleading, also sending my estDS an email every other month saying I was proud of him and loved him, and that there was nothing we couldn't work through as I love him unconditionally.

I said sorry a lot in those emails, asking if he could ever forgive me etc.

Not any more. I forgive him of course, I love him and meant that but keeping hope alive against all evidence - we have a responsibility to protect ourselves and not become a burden (say through physical stress illness or depression) on those who do see us and live with us.

Celeb so sorry to hear your depression from loosing your Dad was used against you. a low blow that.

I went to a nearby town today, had a large real coffee and a naughty pastry in M&S, having friend to tea this coming Saturday - I am cheering them up over something.

I am doing cakes but before that posh cheese on toast - anyone got any ideas you want to share about cheese on toast recipes?

The poor people in that tower block in London - puts all our worries into perspective. Throwing your baby, to save it when perhaps you know you are doomed? Poor mother.

Try pre folded flatbread (Tesco have them) with Gouda and pesto for posh cheese on toast. It's delicious.,

Warburtons thins make lovely cheese on toast especially topped with sliced tomato for last minute of grilling

CelebgranMy daughter has issues with my X her dad. That's why I divorced him 32 years ago because of verbal abuse and he was physically abusive to my son.
Well my DH went ahead and sent a Father's Day card to his son while I was not home. So I never got to see what he wrote. He told me he apologized for anything he may have done and asked to get together and talk things out. THEN he tells him he misses the kids. Well I think that just nailed the coffin shut. IMO if he wanted a reconciliation he should have said he missed HIM AND THE BOYS not just the boys. I run everything by him but for some reason he didn't do the same to me. This is a big deal this letter in the card and I wish he had waited until I got home.

Don't think u can beat old fashioned Welsh rarebit using proper mustard.

Thanks sparklygran it was the most hurtful bit of the Estrangement the kind of what the hell did I spending 28 years doing my utmost for my daughter for just to be betrayed in most despicable way,

Hey ho life goes on today is not good ref pain so sadly had cancel my lunch retail with my closest friend,

Never mind hope see her and husband tomorrow if feeing bit better,
Just found out dh not off day of my pre op check if I had normal caring daughter guess she would come with me like i supported her but look like may be alone dh is desperately trying get day off bless, ironic my estranged daughter lives v near hospital I am going in.,??

Rhinestone feel sorry dh did that ?
At least he did send card my d husband wouldn't do anything unless i put him up to it, love Him to bits thO x

Thank you Katek Madgran and celebgran for lovely posh cheese on toast suggestions, I will be trying them out!

Was out today at local consultation, surprised my brain still works - it was a good laugh at moments too as well as serious thinking stuff..

Sorry to hear you have such bad pain today celebgran that you have to cancel lunch. My problems are minor but hey I am aging my young GP says...yesterday in Cardiff my left knee locked with a shooting pain that even I felt as strong.....its done it twice since. Falling apart we are!!

Rhinestone your DH sounds sweet and that he was trying his best with card, but yes, when estranged our estAC have to be told we love them as well as estDGC.....IF we are in touch or maintain some sort of contact.

Everything is a minefield.

Omg just read a thingy on Facebook about dog that owner got tired of after henmarried and had children ev etuallynwas put to sleep I am in floods tears ? why did I read it!

All my bravado about being i. Good place yet been very tearful today I must came over that way yesterday when saw an ex friend of my daughter told her about my op and she asked if xxx knew I said no point.

Then after she Went I just wanted to cry.

Stupid I will get over it,

SparklyGrandmaYes my DH is a very gentle sweet man. I'm the one who suggested he send a card. Now I'm sorry he did but I'm a fighter and don't give up easily like many of us. You are so right about the minefield.
CelebgranIm so sorry you are in such pain. I hope your operation will relieve all of that.

Celebgran & Sparkly hope you got through your GC birthday ok, it always hit's hard on the actual day!

Eddiecat Goodluck with getting to see your GC, can't they meet you half way?

Smileless* what lovely neighbours you have, do they know about the estrangement?

Yes I'm just back from my Yoga Retreat in Turkey, missed the cold & rain of UK, swapped for 35" heatwave

Luckylegs & Rhinestone Hi x

Will continued to read last page of posts

Celebgran try not to worry about your op , I know it's easier said than done, but just think about the 'afterwards' being pain free and able to dance the night away again! And no it's not silly to feel like crying, also don't worry about the typos, we all do it, so no need to correct, we all know what your saying.

Luckylegs my ND has assured me she would never be so cruel as her sister, and that's without me asking. But if it did happen, I am so shell-shocked from this one, the impact would not be the same, I'm already destroyed!

Thanks yogagirl bless u there was such horrid post on here when we last got invaded by xxxxx not allowed to say word and so derogatory about my posts I kinda feel anxious now,

Thanks sparklygran and rhinestone it's no fun being in such pain and zonked up on morphine all time.

Sparkly Gra. Sorry about your knee, I still have severe osteoarthritis in mine, rub,voltsrol on seeing my knee chap on 27th not seen him since jan don't ask they lost my referral he will be pleased with my weight loss..
Hope your kneesettles if not ask for xray,

Got watch the trifle tho mmmm marks meal deals yummy but puddings not good for weight??

Happy weekend all keep ? cool x

Miss my ?
Looking forward to seeing our friends thins afternoon and evening,

Eddie, I understand why you would be feeling "gloomy." Ds means well, of course, but has chosen a bad time to suggest a visit. If they're planning to separate, dil probably will be less motivated to agree to it than she would have been before. Not fair to have you waiting on tinterhooks while she decides. Hope she surprises us and says yes, but please don't hold your breath.

Celeb, the strawberry tea and ballet sound wonderful! Have fun!

Oh but just read about your more recent pains, celeb. So sorry. Also, sorry you're in a tearful mood today. Idk but I imagine that happens, once in a while, no matter how good a place you're in generally?

Sparkly, sorry about your knee. That happens to me sometimes, too.

"Strange us humans."

Yes, Rhinestone, strange we are, lol! Here I am (and same with some other grannies here, too) always a little worried that estrangement could happen to me, even though I don't have any big issues with dd or sil (I think). And yet, here are some of you who are co from one ac fully confident that your other ac would never do this. But I guess when one has been through it, they are more aware of the signs and can better judge who would do this and who wouldn't.

Celeb, it sounds as if ed has some bad memories from the past. But it was a mental condition - not your fault, and, apparently, it's behind you. I don't see how she can hold it against you all these years later, and I'm sorry she does.

Thank you Yogagirl glad you enjoyed your Turkish yoga retreat. That sounds lovely.

Starlady and celebgran my knee has now got tight and swollen, I know its a minor thing but will see if it goes down after the heat of this weather has gone. When it locks it is funny as it stops me dead! celebgran being on morphine is no joke so hope they fix you fully when you have your operation.

Rhinestone he sounds lovely; sometimes estGrans fight as long as they can.

Boiling hot here, not a breath of cool air! Have the best week you can, ladies

You, too, Sparkly. Sorry your knee has become "tight and swollen" and hope it's better soon.

Rhinestone, just caught the post about dh's apology. I agree that it's too bad he didn't discuss it with you first. Hopefully, ess will feel some sympathy for his dad missing the gc. But more likely, I'm afraid he'll read it as, "Not really apologizing, just sent you this because I want to see your kids." Not likely to do much good.

Maybe the Father's Day card will help. Has he sent one before?

Thanks starlady it is sad that estranged daughter felt that way and today fathers day I am not good again!
friends are new grandparents and a facebook post from their daughter upset me so much

what kind of mum isn't wanted by her own daughter?
woe is me I must snap out of it

think stress over op is getting to me, pain is getting on top of me and making me irritabe viscious circle.

we had lovely day yesterday but today is awful.

dear joan our elderly Neibor came round and so hard when she cant hear a word!!!! never mind atg 94 she is lovely kind friend.

sparklygran u corrt morphine no fun

do hope you knee settles blow me I locked my knee last night just before we went out lots gel and knee support cam out of drawer!

reckon u have osteo arthritis at a guess xx

My knees give me a twinge if I walk too far. I take pain tablets to ends it. It may be old age?