Continued support and fun aspects too of rebuilding lives after estrangement can't believe 4 years and we still here to offer help, friendship and support.TWO

Sympthathy everyone with joint pain, I know how you feel Celeb and hopefully soon your forthcoming operation will let you be pain free. When I was 40 I had six weeks on my back after being told I had slipped disc, it turned out it wasn't but arthritis of the spine, as there was no operation to help, I went to a Physio and was given a number of exercises to strengthen the muscles around the spine, I do them at least twice a day, was told not to put weight on and walk
at least 2/3 miles a day. I followed his advice to the letter, and have been relatively pain free unless I overdo it or do something thing stupid like carry heavy bags or sit too long in one spot.I have this last couple of years put the weight on a bit and eased off the walking these last few months,, now I have pain all the time in my right knee and back. So today I start walking again and dieting. I think tablets do help, but not every day all the time, the same tablets cure headaches shoulder ache everything. I think I have been depressed and sometimes food became a substitute. For me looking at my whole life style was invaluable.
Celebregran, you ask what sort of mother am I for a daughter not to want. I do that constantly, rerunning things I might have done wrong, however, it is pointless, when I read your posts and that of others estranged, I see warm, caring mothers, no way to you deserve to be treated the way you are, what if sometimes you said or did something that offended, it wasn't meant, talk about it like grown ups, but they won't, that would take time and too much trouble.
That is what makes it so unnatural and hard to get your head round. How I would have loved to have my own mother now to help me through these years. She died when I was a young woman with two small children, whom she adored, how disappointed she would have been with the one she called her little princess.
I am sending you all ? and have a hood day, just remember the sun cream!

celegran snap I am having a cuppa today with a lovely older lady from my church whose hearing has plummeted in the last 18 months. I long to be up front enough to take pen and paper with me, but that seems rude.

You might be right my poor mother suffered with knee and hip arthritis from a very young age, whereas I am oooo over 39, so its not such a shock when wierd things start happening to bits of me. A knee support, I might try and buy one tomorrow, and see if that helps....

Starlady thank you...me too.

Luckylegs all of us I think do that, reflect on what we may have done differently, or wrong....but sometimes after mulling on it, I remind myself that there are somethings we dont have control over, and if estAC or their partner decide to be that way, we couldn't have possibly made any difference at all....

Its been very warm here overnight, almost impossible to sleep....

I have slept two hours so far. My DH is in the hospital. We were out for Father's Day and he said he felt ill all of a sudden. He wanted to go home but couldn't tell me what was specifically wrong. We got into the car and he had pain in his back, nausea and chest pressure. I took him right to the hospital against his wishes. They treated him right away with nitroglycerin. He was on his way to a full blown heart attack. Today he will have tests done and we will find out more. I called his daughter who lives 3000 miles away and told her. My husband said not to tell her to NOT call her brother, my ESS. My DH said if he came to the hospital because of this it would start a dialogue.
We shall see.
Starlady That's how I felt about him sending my ESS the card. Please send prayers for a speedy recovery for my DH.
The good about this is that my son and daughter were told together and my son asked to talk to me again.

Oh, Rhinestone, I'm so sorry. Definitely saying prayers for dh.

Idk why he feels "it would start a dialogue" if ess comes to the hospital. Would ess really bring up the "issues" at a time like this? Maybe he would just come to see how dh is and give him a hug, etc? But dh knows him better than I, obviously. And anyhow, I hope sd respects dh's wishes.

Good to hear that ds asked to talk to you. I guess that's the silver lining.

Please try to get some rest. You need to be strong for dh's sake and your own.

Rhinestone, I hope you dear husband makes a full recovery. Difficult time for you I know.?

Rhinestone - best wishes to your husband - and to you too. You certainly did the right thing in taking him to hospital promptly

Oh rhinestone so sorry about your dear husband hope he makes quick recovery

I am sure all this estrangement stress damages our health.

Do hope it might bring about a reconciliation

I was feeling v low lucklylegs when typed that I know i put all I had into being a mum.

It is what it is.
A phone t call from my dear son last night helped an awful lot that he found the time
To when they get keys today for their lovley new house ?!

Yes sparklyngran knee supports can be v helpful used wear all time from boots of course wheee dh is pharmacist I always get large as they fit v tight

I have just read a brilliant article by Honey Good, called "when your adult children won't speak to you". What she suggests is mainly what I and most of you already do, but it kind of validates it.

Luckylegs9, quite interesting! honeygood.com/blog/relationships-the-shocking-truth-your-adult-child-does-not-speak-to-you

Thanks for that link Norah, I don't know how to post one on this I pad.
Have a good day everyone, I have enrolled for a 5 mile walk with my walking friends, I keep hoping that someone will cancel it as it is to hot to make a cuppa! let alone walk. It's been nice knowing you.

I did skim through the article - and I`m sure it is well intentioned but I`m afraid I do think this is a situation that people cannot fully understand unless they have been through it themselves.
I am cut off from my grandchildren but not from my son - I sympathise completely with those of you who are estranged from your own children but am not sure I fully appreciate the torment you go through - and I wouldn`t dream of advising you how to handle it.

Morning ladies. Sorry it's been a few days since I've been on line. We had a great weekend, very hot (it's like being on holiday in our new home with our roof terrace and glimpses of the sea). We had two mad cap evenings with the girls next door. They came for a BBQ on Sunday and when they arrived they had a bottle of, gave it to Mr. S., gave him a hug and said 'happy Father's day'.

Yes Yogagirl the girls do know about our estrangement. We told them why we'd moved here and have said how much their kindness means to us. I sometimes wonder if knowing about ES and DS being in Aus. has made them that bit more attentive. We get on so well, their a breath of fresh air and I laughed so much on Sunday I ended up with stomach ache.

Oh Rhinestone thank goodness you got your DH to hospital. I'm so sorry to hear that he's unwell and hope the next time you post you have a positive update for us.

That terrible day a couple of years ago in Aus. when we thought Mr. S. was having a heart attack, we wish DS hadn't 'phoned his brother. He didn't bother to contact him, not even to say he was glad everything was OK and as you know Celeb, when your EAC knows you've had a serious health scare and doesn't get in touch, it really emphasises that they don't care.

A week after we returned from that holiday, we learned from DS that his brother had been in a car accident; he was unharmed. That day Mr. S. saw ES and our GC in the village shop and asked ES if he was OK because of what we'd found out.

About an hour later ES turned up at our house in a rage and accused Mr. S. of stalking him and deliberately following him into the shop. I was sothat I made no attempt to hide it. I told ES his dad had better things to do with his time then waste it stalking him, and that at least he'd asked if he was OK because we knew he'd been involved in an accident and he (ES) hadn't bothered to contact his dad when we thought he'd had a heart attack. I'll never forget the look on his face as heor the fact that he had nothing to say.

I just hope Rhinestone that your DH's ES at the very least sends him a message.

It's great to know you're coping so well Celeb. I've been in a much better place for some time now but still get moments when the pain's intensity is overwhelming but it does pass. I think you're amazing, being so upbeat despite being in so much pain for so long and with a major op on the horizon. I'm so glad that when I pm you, I call you my Champion because you are.

I hope your DS can find somewhere to live eddiecat. It was sweet of him to say he'll try and organise a visit for you with your GC but perhaps his timing isn't very good. Yes you are fortunate that you've maintained your relationship with him but you love and miss your GC which is why you understand our pain and why we understand yours.

There was a time when we really thought we'd lose DS too. ES and his wife seemed to be doing everything in their power to come between us with their outrageous lies then, the last time we were in Aus. DS came up to me and said 'I've something I've got to say mum'; my heart sank. Then he put his arms around me and said 'I could never do to you what ..... has done. I'm not like him and never will be'.

Smlekess, you certainly did the right thing with moving, you sound as if you are on permenently holiday.?
Celeb when is your pre op? Not long now to your op. I walked you too far today and can hardly move, know I shouldn't have.
Rhinestone, how is your husband today? Hope you looking after yourself you.
Eddiecat, you do see your ds, the message is the same though, whatever the estrangement, don't dwell and live a full and happy life as you can.

Aagh thanks lucklegs not until 18 July op is just over 6 weeks away

Will be seeing Smilelss just before!

Totday been very difficult made acquacsie but felt yuck pain back legs v bad today we only just eaten! After picked dh upmfelt so queasy hadmhave rest before got tea, very nice salmon fillets with sweet chill sauce new pots courgettes and carrots,

Dh so exhausted be glad when he finally retires.
don't overdo it lucklylegs. With walking ?

Yes it does sound like you fell on your feet their with lovley Neibor's Smilelss.

Unlike our ungrateful xxxx as she had declared too busy to water out plants, despite ljsmfeeding 3 cats for years for her,

We have asked other neibors bless them dh invited them round for glass wine tomorrow they came tonight ooops he has just got i pn I feel yuck so had to explain see them tomorrow!

Oh well shower now and chill in front of soaps!

Our dear son rang so excited yesterday got keys to. NEw house!
It held us up bigtime as we're going visit friends elderly mum but hey ho was so good hear him so happy,

Smilelss??I remember it well how es reacted when your dh was poorly,

A friend from acquacsie lost her husband suddenly last week omg ? I was in tears myself when gave her a hug poor poor lady.

Hi All- My DH has great arteries and a good strong heart so yeh to that. He is home now but we have to see a gastrointestinal doctor as the doctor who did the catherization said it's probably something to do with acid reflux which can minic a heart attack. But no blockages either. I realized that it was the first time ever in my life that I was alone without a person or an animal to keep me company. It was strange. If the Gastro shows nothing it could just be angina, a muscle spasm of the heart.
No word from ESS.

What great news about your husband Rhinestone, I am so pleased. Shame about ESS but his loss. It is going to be the hottest day today, temperatures in the 30's we are not used to it and it's taken everyone by surprise.

LuckylegsThank you. I sure slept great last night. Well no one can say my DH didn't try by sending a Father's Day card to his son. It only fuels my anger more. Hate is a strong word but I'm moving towards that feeling for my ESS more and more.

Rhinestone they all say these experts let go of.
Bitterness and hatred
very pleased your husband recovering well
However seeing my husbands sad face on Father's Day I admit to hatred for my selfish ungrateful spoilt brat am ashamed to call our daughter

However am happy to let it go and focus on those that do love as want us

Not so hot here on coast today.

Thank goodness!

We away this weekend so got try and pack dh got up for me at 4am as usual get pain relief bless him.

Rosie been groomed very posh! Bet she feels more comfy.

Wonderful news about your DH Rhinestone you must both be so relieved.

We've had a lovely day today. Bought 2 more hanging baskets for our roof terrace. It's a blaze of colour and it's amazing what Mr. S. can do with a small area. He came home from work yesterday with some. I just love it when he does that. He said he'd been thinking about how much he loves me.

Not long now Celeb until we meet and can hug one another; can't wait.

Life is good, no it's better than good and I never thought I'd say that again. My heart feels light and joyful so I'm sending you alland; have a good evening dear friends.

Celeb - I`m just wondering if there is a part of the country that the rest of us should steer clear of when you and Smileless get together!!!!!(Have you warned the local shoe shops to check their stock levels?)

Have lots of fun Ladies
x

Eddiecat ????

Oh smileless that's wonderful I can't wait ? but you do realise we will have to meet again when I am Fit and dancing ? After my op!

So pleased you,feeling happy again it a wonderful thing to see light at end of tunnel isn't it?

My little Rosie looks pretty girl after her grooming,

We had nice cold drink In Garden with kind neibor who is going water plants kindly our regular one strangely has t got time now, mmmmm wish we had said that when feeding her ? 3 cats and stray twice a day

I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. S. and Mr. C. put the shoe shops, and all shops come to think of it, in Harrogate on high alert eddie.

I bought a wonderful pair there a few years ago. Black velvet with a large red and diamante bow on the front.

Of course we'll be meeting again Celeb; this is going to be the first of many where we can sit side by side and bask in the wonderful light we've found at the end of our dark tunnels.

Wel poor husband decided write to ed tell her my operation date and I also now have another apppt to see surgeon mr Cummings whose doing op on 26 July
That's 3 appts up road from her, can't help thinking in normal times our daughter would have cared and been as worried as us.

Dear husband saw how upset I was as hospital so near to our daughter so he has got both days sorted to take me.

It would be lovely if she replied but I am determined not to let it drag me back into dark place.

Thanks lucklegs for lovely pm will answer now I have been off iPad this afternoon packing and ironing for weekend away.
Dh lowered ironing board got my chair sorted I can now iron despite back agony !