New life at 65

I am sorry Conners but the thought of you hiding in the wardrobe from a boring husband I hope you had plenty of and books or iPad in there to pass the time.

Anthea Turner has just published a book about life after divorce. I'm sure it's full of tips and good advice.

Do you know what it's called, please?

Speaking as someone of a similar age who has been agonising about making the decision to leave an equally longstanding partnership for some years now, I really think heathers that the hardest part is done and with a couple of firm shakes your wings will unfurl and you will fly. Onwards and upwards and the very best of luck to you

I was only married for 20 yrs before I got divorced, goodness knows how long I would have stuck it out had he not had an affair and been found out. It was tough at first, I felt rather lost, my son by this time was 17yrs old and was carrying on with his education and eventually university. Money was short and we didn't have a lot but I was much happier being able to make my own decisions, to do what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it. Socially yes it was all couples and friends I had then seemed to drift away over time, but at least the ones that were left I knew to be proper friends. My sister was also a great boost, we did an awful lot together, outings, holidays etc. Her husband had his golf holiday and we had our holiday, perfect. Unfortunately she passed away in January so I have now lost my best friend as well as my sister.
I suppose what I am trying to say is yes, it will be hard at first, but I would not have it any other way now, I am my own boss so to speak and really enjoying it.

First of all, Heathers, I wish you every happiness. Good advice from others, take things slowly. I have a lovely friend whose husband is an alcoholic and she needed a "little push" (her words) to do something she's been wanting to do for ages. She said, "there would be so much freedom in that" ... She's going to arrange care for her husband and do it! You've got the freedom now to do all sorts of things. But small steps at first maybe!

Lizziepopbottle, Your final paragraph is thoughtfully and beautifully stated. Thank you.

Embrace it I look back now and my only regret is that I waited 27 years I still get a lovely feeling usually on Friday evening as weekends were the worst he worked away during the week and I can't believe how calm and content I know feel

What have you always wanted to do- your dream- there's nobody holding you back now- go for it- good luck

My husband dumped me after 40+ years. I just wish it had all happened years and years sooner. Now we are friendly which is better than festering bitterness. However, now that I've been on my own for 3 years I appreciate the benefits of not pandering to his ideals. I was fortunate enough to buy my own little house and like many have said, when I close the front door, it is all mine. I eat when and what I like, go to bed when I choose, watch telly that I enjoy, go out when I like, let my two cats sleep on my bed. Yes, there are times when I feel vulnerable but overall, I'm quite content. As for future relationships .... no thanks, not for me, not ever. I've been let down and betrayed too often by the men in my life. So good luck and make sure you endeavour to create a social life for yourself where you can make new friends. There's U3A, the WI, clubs to suit all tastes .... try them all, then decide what suits you best.

I'm heading for the same Heathers after 40 years. It's very frightening especially as there will be very little money to buy a house/flat, and I'm retired.
Found out today about him not being the man I thought he was, horrible.

Hope your OK loopylou

loopyloo. look after yourself and remember it is not your fault!

I moved into my own house after splitting up with my partner of 13 years and before that getting divorced from a husband of 18 years. It was the very first time I'd ever lived by myself and it was wonderful. When I left the house tidy to go to work, it was still tidy when I came home. If I wanted to put the sewing machine out and leave it on the table to finish something later, then I could without someone whinging it was in the way. I can still remember the pleasure of my own house and my own way of doing things. Look for the pleasure in living alone and enjoy it!