Older people seen as a burden.

That's because they believe everything they read in the media. We are the reason the NHS is overworked - too many of us, not the fact that it is underfunded at one end by this government and over-used at the other by the obese, the hypochondriac and those who think A & E stands for Anything and Everything.

They also think we had it easy, have good pensions at their expense and don't deserve to live in our houses as they can't afford to get on the housing ladder. But that will be sorted out soon when Theresa May takes those away to pay for our care.

So sorted!

Isn't it their generation that think A&E stands for anything and everything ?

I think my D is more of a burden on me than the other way round says the bank lf mum

Oh ffs. First this morning we have ' the nasty lefties stole my sweets and ran away' and now we have, on the most pathetic of flimsy bases, another'thread knocking the younger generation. I know many young people in their 30/40s - without exception they work hard, are lovingly bringing up families and have incredibly good relationships with their parents and other members of the older generations. Their lives are far harder than mine was at their age and I am full of respect for them.

Well I'm happy for rigby that you know so many perfect young people. The OP is perfectly entitled to say what she did. She heard them talking on a topic concerning us.

Right on Jane10

There are exceptions to every rule Rigby and for every kind hearted , caring person under 30 there is a spoilt, me me me .

If you pop onto Mumsnet you'll see what some people think of their older relatives and some of the rationale behind that thinking beggars belief.

Agree NanaandGrampy also wonder how many of the group Luckeylegs9 overheard were quite happy to dip into the bank of mum and dad when it suits

I am blessed with the memory of an elephant and I distinctly remember my grandmother talking to her relatives about what an ungrateful, selfish lot the young generation were. By this she meant my parents, who are now in their 80s. I try not to fall into this mode. My children and their friends are great, hard-working people. There are always a few who fall by the roadside and they are pounced upon by the press. There is no news in normal people going about their normal business.

When I'm having a drink in a pub I will quite often moan about things with my friends (particularly after the second bottle of wine). Typical moans include the builder who messes everything and drinks tea every half hour, the shop assistant who looks through you/pulls a face when you ask for something, the bloke/woman who nicked your parking space. We don't actually hate any of these people, we just want to moan. I should imagine all of these young people love and support their parents and are just letting off steam. I suppose the moral is don't listen to conversations in pubs, or as my gran always said "Listeners never hear good of themselves"

We have to hope so trisher but I was shocked to hear an extended family member talking quite openly about his parents spending so much of their( own)
Money on holidays.

Those young people you overheard in the pub sound like a selfish lot, Luckylegs. I just hope they aren't typical of their generation. My dd and her friends certainly don't have those attitudes, as far as I know. (But who knows what they say when we older people aren't around?)

Polyester, your post made me remember a few complaints from years ago, too. In fact, I imagine that every generation for centuries has had its gripes about the generation before and the one after, as well. So maybe it's just par for the course.

So we were they gebralising the whole generation or talking about their specific situations?

Because if it's the latter you don't know what they're going through. It may be their parents failed to make provisions for their older years and now their children are having to make sacrifices when they shouldn't have to.

In what way do you think children would feel they should have to make sacrifices because their parents either chose to or more likely couldn't afford to "make provisions for their older years" ? If you are talking of care, it is not the families responsibility to pay.
Bibbity

The elderly population is now higher than the children population. It is also incredibly expensive caring for elderly parents.
I would let this go, it sounds like a group of adults venting to each other. Unless as they specifically said these things to you then I wouldn't worry

I agree DIL1991. I spent 12 years torn between my widowed and disabled Mum , my husband, my children and grand-children. Now that I'm old myself, I often feel guilty about sometimes being very impatient with Mum. She coped with being a widow very well, but I didn't realise that at the time.
Not just the expense either.

I vent about my mom and mil. I would never say anything like this to them. But sometimes you get frustrated and need to get it out so you don't hurt anyone.
Also you stated that you didn't hear the whole conversation, so you could very well be taking this out of context.

She ain't heavy, she's my mother.

I sometimes wonder about what seems an increasingly large number of the next generation (see Mumsnet), some of whom complain endlessly about their parents for all sorts of reasons and some of whom describe them as toxic, a truly horrible description, and choose to have nothing to do with them, even cut them off from their grandchildren. What will happen to them when they start ageing and finding life a little bit hard? What picture have they put in the minds of their own children.

My aunts cared for my grandmother, my sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law cared for my husband's parents. We looked after my mother in the last five years of her life. Yes, in some ways it was a burden in the sense that she became increasingly frail and we had to cope with all sorts of health problems that because of her age simply got worse and, indeed, just having her living in our house affected our previous pattern of life and our freedom.

I rejoice in my memory of her ninetieth birthday when all the extended family and many friends, mostly ours who loved and respected her, including my daughter who flew in from New Zealand for the celebration made it a very special occasion. I rejoice in the memory of her holding her first great grandson so carefully in her frail arms and singing so melodiously to him. I remember when I cried after Beth had gone back to New Zealand and my mother stroked my head with her shaky hand to comfort me. I remember so many special times when my lovely old mother and I laughed together about putting on clean knickers, played cribbage when I cheated like mad so she'd win and still scored the points, I remember her love for me all my life until the day she died.

I have mostly forgotten the awfulness of emptying the commode, the long visits to the Clinic for the Elderly, the night the floor and she was covered in shit and it took us hours to clean everything up, including a shakenand frightened old woman.

I remember her love and wisdom when a friend committed suicide and I, a young woman, had thought I could save him. I remember her hours beside my hospital bed when everyone thought I was going to die. I remember all her love, all her kindness, all her compassion, all her strength, all her care.

My daughter has a picture shaped by the family she has known and lived with. It doesn't include abandoning or even bad-mouthing me.

Beautiful post Absent. Thank you.

Beautiful moved me to tears

You are very blessed absent by having such a lovely and loving mother and I truly envy you.
I am trying very hard to be that sort of mother myself so that my D will have the same memories of me.

Oh ffs. First this morning we have ' the nasty lefties stole my sweets and ran away' and now we have, on the most pathetic of flimsy bases, another'thread knocking the younger generation. I know many young people in their 30/40s - without exception they work hard, are lovingly bringing up families and have incredibly good relationships with their parents and other members of the older generations. Their lives are far harder than mine was at their age and I am full of respect for them.

Oh Rigby, just when I am thinking the culture of my world just doesn't exist on GN you raise my spirits.^

Absent wonderful post and well done you for looking after your mother so tenderly and well done the rest of your family in their caring roles. This is how it used to be and I think this is how it still should be, as in the Asian cultures now.
I helped to look after my mum in the 6yrs she had vascular dementia, she didn't live with me, although I did offer. She stayed with my dad for 2yrs, till he couldn't cope and she then went into a care home. I helped my dad whilst she was still with him and then I would bring her home with me for the weekends when she was in the care home, I too had the unpleasant job of cleaning her up, but I loved her, so it wasn't a problem for me. She was the nicest of mums, kind & gentle.

It seems to me that the "young people" who seem to have little patience with the "older generation", are the same young people who have been brought up by that "older generation". Is it not possible that some of that generation did not do a very good job of demonstrating kindness, unselfishness and a nurturing family environment for those children.

Having said that I know there are many more young people who do cherish their elder relatives and value their relationship with them.