Support for Grans cut-out of AC&GC lives

It was your overwhelming love for your GD and the depth of the relationship you once had that made you go to court Yogagirl, your fear of losing her for good.

I know you look back and regret that decision but it took courage and hopefully one day, your EGD will know the lengths you went too to remain a part of her life and in some small way, it will show her how very much you loved her.

Oh maddy that sounds wonderful. As you know, we visited Disney in Florida for many years and last year had the joy and privilege of seeing our God son's brothers enjoy the magic of that wonderful place. He's only 1 so wasn't aware of what was going on. In a small way it compensated for the fact that we'll never see our GC's happy, smiling faces enjoying everything there is to see.

How much more it will mean to you to be there with your DS and GC. As for your daughter, we all hope that she wont be difficult when you tell her but if she is, please don't let it spoil the exciting build up to what will be an amazing holiday.

Alexa I sometimes think that in a way, not ever knowing our GC may be less painful than knowing them throughout their childhood and then losing almost all contact when they're older. At 86 "with more interesting things to think about", it looks to me that it's your GC who are missing out.

Yogagirl, oh that makes sense then. I just thought if a solicitor had advised you to go ahead without warning of the longterm risks then they weren't really doing their job.

Well legal advice and support might have been a good idea but we can't go back so what's done is done. It is a big price to pay.

Hi Everyone- Been off the threads lately as we are in Florida for six weeks. If I didn’t have this break from obligations I’m sure I would lose more of my mind than I have all ready.
I do t know if you remember how awful it was that my stepdaughter couldn’t see us when in town two years ago as she had no time she said. Then a picture of her with my ESS and children pooped up in social media. My DH was heartbroken . After he called her out on it she said she didn’t want to hurt him by her going to see her brother and nephews. He was hurt because she came 3000 miles and had no time for him. Smileless it is so hard to know your DS saw your GC. I only hope something was said to your ES about the estrangement. I can’t believe they would not discuss it. Maybe they did and DS isn’t telling you as not to hurt you further.
CelebgranIt sounds like you are coming along quite well since your operation. Good for you.
MaddyFlorida will be hot and humid in the summer but you won’t notice as you will be having so much fun. If anyone can make you feel young and Happy it’s Minnie and Mickey.
Yogagirlyou mentioned Asian families being more caring. Their culture reveres older people. At least it used to be that way. You knew that your responsibility was to care for the elderly not lock them away. As far as going to court you did what your heart told you to do. Don’t beat yourself up as I want to do the same thing but DH doesn’t.
123flump My DH and I are opposites too. He says nothing about the estrangement but on my Holiday card this year he wrote” hopefully soon we can all be together again.” So apparently he does think about it but just doesn’t blab on like me.
Do people in the UK still iron? I’m laughing because I have an iron but it’s better used as a bookend. I have a steamer also but it hasn’t seen much action. I’m kind of glad I don’t press anything as my mother used to make me iron all the time as a girl.... sheets, gloves, scarves, underwear, pants. I think I developed a phobia. Lol

I meant popped up not pooped up... or did I?

Smileless thank you for your kind words xx

Yes Flump I often think that if I had seen a solicitor, would he have done the decent thing and advised me not to go ahead

Yes Rhinestone I do remember the upset of your stepD not visiting you when in your area, very painful for you both. Thank you for your kind words re the courts xx

maddyone thank you, send the ironing here.

I am making an appt on the day to see my GP, taking a friend with me celeb and Smileless thank you.
Saw my brother today for lunch, a nice chat.

Yogagirl it was awful,experience for you, our solicitor wanted xxx to mediate and warned if went to court we may get contact yet lose our daughter.

Over last 9 years we seen 2 solicitor s. Sadly when I was arrested the solicitor who was given to me was from same firm my ed used, we were emailed a report that she was totally unreasonable and her husband tried calm her down.

The letter we received was horrendous as Said before using confidences I had told her about my illness over 40 years ago! I think that was point our son lost all interest in her, somsad.

Please accept yogagirl you did your best I would gave done same except they sent forms back had. CHanged them ?and we reconsidered.

However I often wish we had gone ahead because all these years nothing not even a photo. You were brave enough to try to see your beloved grandkids.
I have no idea why you weren't given leave to,apply to court when we were I assumed it was formality.
So yogagirl if you hadn't done that you would have wondered like me would it have worked?

Good see you posting rhinestone I too remember that time.

Yes am progressing lovely lunch out with good friend today and spot retail back tired now!

Got home to lovely presents from dh perfume and scarf and an orchid and fragrant rose ? isn't he marvellous!
He knew I was down over xxx godmother and seeing pic of our Grandaughter

Have good weekend all ???

Thanks, celeb! You too!

Alexa, I'm glad you're enjoying life too much to worry about your GC's behavior. They are probably busy enjoying their lives, too.

But is it just since they've gotten older and into teenage things, etc. that they seem to have lost interest in you? Or were they kept away from you all these years due to adult issues? I ask because sometimes grands in these situations seek out gps they never got a chance to know, but other times they have no interest. If adult issues caused this, I'm so very sorry.

But why would your son's partner want to "discuss" your gd with you?

Dear friends, for those of us that remember that lovely lady who first provided a place here on GN for EP's and GP's to share their pain, with her lovely poem on the AIBU forum 'Cut out of their lives' she has started a thread on the 'Grandparents' forum. Yes, dear Nanban.

I'm sure you'll want to take a look and offer her your love and support.

Thank you for that smileless I'll take a look.

I remember Nanban very well Smileless and I still remember the poem! Hope she hasn't been CO again

I have just been a very clever girl Just transferred my contacts from my old mobile to my new one, using Bluetooth, after days of trying everything with no joy! After you've done the transfer, all your 'whatsapp' contacts pop-up too!

Yogagirl well done what is whatsapp?

I can't cope bwith instagram
However now my phone photos go,to google photos on iPad? Not sue how I did that?

I will contact nanban poor lady she was lovely

Well done yogagirl , and celeb , whatsapp is brilliant to use if you're abroad, you can send messages and photos from anywhere in the world to anywhere else in the world, and it's free. I used it quite a bit when we in the Far East to send messages home. You must have Wi-Fi though to use it, it's a bit like email, it needs the internet, unlike ordinary texting. I just wish my dear mum had a smart phone or iPhone as it cost me a fortune texting her every day, but she's got an old fashioned mobile, so no internet possible with it.

Maddy thanks for enlightening Celebgran on 'whatsapp'
I wouldn't be without it now, yes you can send photos and make phone calls for free! it's brilliant! All my friends and family are on it, you can make up groups too, I do this for my yoga retreat students, so we can share our pics & videos and keep in touch.

Poor Nanban

Celebgran you have to download the app

Yogagirl how is it different from messenger? I can send photos etc free with thatmad make video calls?

My mobile doesn't have enough room to download any more apps.?

Hi celeb it's not much different than messenger really, both are free, both need internet, both send messages or/photos. But I think yoga said you can make calls free aswell, I didn't know that. I use FaceTime to make calls to my family both here and abroad, but it's only free if it's iPhone to iPhone. We have Scype aswell, but that's on the desktop. I think there are so many ways to communicate nowadays, it's almost difficult to choose. I don't bother with Snapchat, or anything like that. I stick with texts, emails, Messenger, WhatsApp, and FaceTime. But I think it's whatever suits you. WhatsApp suits me when I'm abroad as I can message and send photos to my family and friends, whatever type of mobile they have, so long as it accesses internet.

Bless you maddyone my head is bursting with all this technology ???

I have tried FaceTime from iPad to sons iPhone but he prefers skype you are right all this technology.

Speaking which smilless hi hope you ok I forgot say in pm I did try email you those photos hope they arrived ??

Wet windy here friend cancelled lunch yesterday due to flu so it housework ugh

Woke up stressing and upset about yesterday but as you say maddyone couple days time I should feel better.
Got try keep calm as have pesky 24?Hr blood pressure monitor tomorrow.

Hi Rhinestone! Good to see you! Enjoy your vacation in Florida! You deserve it!

Have a lovely time Rhinestone. I hope the weather there is warm as it's been on the chilly side of late.

Good luck with the blood pressure monitor Celeb.

Thanks rhinestone am doing quite well despite my oldest "friend sticking boot in,
Enjoy Florida! It's so cold here today,
I have developed a cough?Need get better quickly as we away this weekend.

Daughters birthday Saturday so I figured would ease the pain. Sent card as always nutcase that we are,
At least she knows we never stop loving her.

Lady was so helpful ref h aids she going order me new one, and has fixed this one up for now?.

Keep warm ladies !

Where is everyone?

I have dreaded nasty cough so dh been waiting on me
Now trying pack as we have weekend away 6 good friends take my mind off horrid experience with xxx godmother,

Just do t feel good painful cough dosing myself with linctus echinacea inhaling u name it,

How is everyone else?

Celeb. Take it easy with that cough! I picked up a nasty one two days before I returned from Florida (of all places!)
Had to travel back but definitely made me worse.
Eventually went to GP two weeks after back home and she said I should not have neglected to seek medical help! Now it seems all my friends have got horrible coughs (I hope not one I gave them!).
Keep an eye on your temperature.