Support for Grans cut-out of AC&GC lives

Aaagh Rosie thanks sooo much!? I think you are correct when my ed didn't respond (dh wrote to her against my better judgement and told her about my impending major operation and that we would be at hospital v close to her home on 3 different date if she felt able to support us) she didn't even reply to wish me well.
I think then I realised we are dead to her and we must stop banging head against brick wall.
Doesn't mean I don't still have difficult days and still can't bear dwell on all I have missed, very similar to smilless except we were allowed to bond with xxxxxx and the pain of having her take. Away from our lives was indescribable.

A few people have noticed I have healed a lot including my dear hairdresser and surrogate daughter.

I too smilless could t bear read details on tragedy! That poor poor little girl.
Was it a custody battle?
Heart goes out to the mum and him too he must have totally gone mad to do that.

I love my daily paper but the tragedies seem so frequent now, let alone state of the world.

Yogagirl?Please try and move on I am sure your precious little xxxxx is being cared for well, I wish you could accept this as you have seen pictures?
Just like the rest of us it's totally broken your ❤️ heart to be rejected by in your sad case 2 people you gave life to.
Please please as granngrace says enjoy what you have like rest of us are trying to do.
You are brave carrying on with your career and holidays and just focus on that and your lovely nd and little one.?

Actually Celeb I feel that you have turned a very big corner recently. I sense that you have finally fully accepted things and you seem a lot stronger for it. Maybe your surgery and other health issues have contributed to that way of thinking. I know my brush with death four years ago changed me and my attitude, without even realising it at the time. Sadly all the acceptance in the world never takes away the pain of loss and what might have been.

Each person who is estranged is likely to get different advice and outcomes because of differences in circumstances etc. All estrangement experiences and attempts to rectify both through legal process, or otherwise, are sad and devastating when unsuccessful. No one can gain anything on this site by disbelieving others because their experience differ...different experiences are par for the course in this sad sad situation. Celeb is clear about her experiences, because SHE went through them, sadly!

Yoga how difficult that the photo of the little girl reminded you so much of your GD

Celeb your experiences were so hard [flowers ]

Thanks Rosie but law didn't let us down we didn't pursue it?
We were given very good albeit expensive advice.
We will never know if we mat have won't contact with grandkids but we would have lost our daughter inevitably.

However I can't let someone post ridiculous lies about me being in police cell etc.

It's upsetting enough.

Agree granngrace I don't need to but it's unpleasant.
Sadly yogagirl has lied about others too.

Do you still send cards to your es if you don't mind me asking?

This is so sad to read again. Two grandmothers in exactly the same unhappy place as one another, argueing about a system that helped neither of you, regardless of how you approached it.

Does it matter how many solicitors were involved, or how much paperwork was/wasn’t necessary? The end result was the same. The law let you both down. You are both grieving the exact same unbelievable loss, albeit at different stages of that grief.......Rosie.x.

Celeb you do not need to justify yourself to anyone. If people choose not to believe you, that's their choice. As long as you know the truth, then it is nothing that should concern others. ?

Yogagirl, you have contined to lie about me over and over again on this thread.
That's why I'm here. You dragged some comments that was made on another thread and twisted them about and posted them on here.
Pure lies. I came here to defend myself.
Celeb agreed that my MIL lying about having Cancer was a step too far, that she agreed my DH had tried everything to no succsess so understood why he had to step back from her, for the sake of his mental health and mine.

This thread has been supportive of everyone who has found themselves in difficult relationships. Mental health has been discussed very openly which has helped a lot of posters. Lots of tips have been shared about being greatful for what you have, that you can't change people's behaviour but how you need to let it go. That applies to alot of people.
You can't change people but change how you react to it.
I'm only here because of Yoga and the lies she's said about me but the few pages of advice on here is really helpful and I've taken some on board.

Yogagirl if you remember back I am not only person. You have lied about.

Such a shame as this is a support thread and you are once again ruining it.

Anyone new will now have to read your continued insistence on disputing our being given leave to apply to court when you weren't,
It's a great shame you can't accept that.

ump I didn't use a solicitor, and before you say it, yes I did need one. I did all the paper work myself, but in court you need a barrister to talk the talk for you. I went 3 times; first they didn't show, second they contested & had a barrister, third I was not given the permission to go to court for a visitation order, even given an official

You started this off in January yogagirl.
Unlike you we saw 3 solicitors over last 9 years none of who would have advised doing your own paperwork when you were clearly out of your depth.

There must have been a reason you were not given "leave to apply".
Incidentally it was my sons partner who he lived with for 8 years who is qualified solicitor in top London firm not a "friend" For the last time YES GRANDPARENTS DONT HAVE AUTOMATIC RIGHT TO APPLY TO COURT BUT IS VERY UNUSUAL FOR THEM NOT TO GET PERMISSION IT IS USUALLY A FORMALITY,

WHAT WENT WRONG FOR YOU WAS UNDOUBTEDLY NOT SEEKING LEGAL ADVICE.
.

It's very sad that you want to keep on dredging this up.

As 123 flump says it reflects badly on you.

Yogagirl you posted

I would love to see this document, as I don't believe you have it.
That is unneccesary in my book.You have more or less called her a liar.

I don't think granngrace and myself are blind yogagirl

I worry so very much about my dear little granddaughter, no idea how she is being treated by her stepdad, with no real/blood family in her life to protect her, for her to run to, to tell. Hate to say her mum, my daughter, hasn't done a good job in protecting her so far

Me too Smileless you don't want to see or hear, but when it's on the news you can't help but listen and then it's in your mind forever. Haven't heard any updates as yet, but yes the family, especially the Mother, must be going through hell.

Yes it was awful seeing that picture of the little girl, looking so much like my dear little granddaughter, really hit my heart hard

Yes, it's terrible Yogagirl. Since our estrangement I've found it increasingly difficult to listen to news items regarding the abuse, neglect and murder of children; it just seems to upset me more these days.

Perhaps it's as I approach extreme old age .

No wonder you were so upsetseeing that photo of her wearing the same dress as your DGD the last time you saw her. The pain her family must be going through is beyond our comprehension.

Thank you Smileless

I woke at 5am last night, thinking of that dear little girl that was stabbed to death by her father, why on earth would he do that! The last picture of her was an hour before she was killed, sitting up in bed with two plates of pizza, obviously a treat from her dad, and then an hour later!! What on earth could have made him turn in such a short time, I'm guessing she was on a visit and her parents were separated or divorce.

The poor little girl was so like my darling little GD, same age too, my heart was breaking in half at the thought and that dreaded vertigo seemed to come back, must have been the stressful thoughts, as I seem to be ok now. That poor Mother & all the family must be in absolute hell right now I really feel deeply for them.

The last time I saw my little GD was when I bumped into them [D&GD] in a shopping centre, my little GD had the same princess dress on as the little girl So I supposed that's why it's hit me & given me nightmares.

Yogagirl Mon 22-Jan-18 08:27:59
As I said, I am not calling you a liar Celebgran and I don't think you are.

Finally yogagirl that comment was in December last year

celebgran Fri 12-Jan-18 20:04:50
Over last 9 years we seen 2 solicitor s. Sadly when I was arrested the solicitor who was given to me was from same firm my ed used, we were emailed a report that she was totally unreasonable and her husband tried calm her down.
I have no idea why you weren't given leave to,apply to court when we were I assumed it was formality.

Sorry Smilelss but I think if you were on receiving end of lies and untruths from another poster like I am from yogagirl then the support thread is ruined

However thanks so much to 123flump ggrace starlady and also ladies kindly sent me pms.

I think this thread, in all its forms must surely be the longest running one on GN. With such an emotive issue, feelings do and are bound to run high from time to time. That said there is always care and support to be found here and understanding for those struggling.

Rhinestone thanks hugs from me too.
Just had my daughters birthday and they are never easy,

It's so cold here and dh and I had horrid chest infections ?

Try enjoy rest of your break.?

Madgran77 there is only one person at fault!

It's completely put me off posting to dredge up.an argument from as 123flump says last December

Really don't need it

Yes we are smileless but it really doesn't help for yogagirl to,use me as a scapegoat. Granny grace is not being critical she is saying like myself we have to focus on what we have after grieving.
I will always miss my daughter but like granny grace I can't keep breaking my heart over a sutuation that's unlikely to change.

This is a support thread! Not a place to do,as yogagirl has totally make something up i.e. Me being locked in police cell! It wasn't pleasant being interviewed under caution but at no time was I in a police cell???

If you read posts yogagirl has called me a liar!
It's not very pleasant. She has said I have only seen a solicitor twice! I can only assume she has problems to make such untrue statements out of nothing??

Thanks also,123 flump I can imagine how distraught your mum must have been. You are correct I don't need this at moment.

Granny grace thank you and I am so glad that you have 4 lovely grandchildren to enjoy.
I have wonderful,son, 3 surrogate daughters (sons fiancé, my lovely hairdresser and niece) fantastic husband and good friends I am blessed.

It is so sad if yet again this thread descends into argument, apparently caused by misreading/misunderstanding/ not taking on board/misrepresentation or whatever. I really, really hope that can end now so that no one else finds themselves put off...looking for support from others in this sad situation or for support because they fear CO ...and only finding anger and unkindness and unpleasantness

"But others seem incredibly bitter, what kind of life are you living if it preoccupies your mind 24/7" we are all different grannygrace and at different stages in coming to terms with our estrangements.

Mr. S. and I have come a long way in the last 5 years for which we are truly grateful that said, I'm very much aware that others find their estrangements a never ending up hill struggle and IMO it isn't helpful or beneficial to be critical of them.

You are indeed fortunate to have relationships with your other AC and GC, some myself included have lost our only GC through our estrangements

Thanks for the hugs Rhinestone 'back at ya'. Do try and enjoy your holiday. Anniversaries can really suck can't they.

Hi All- Yes I’m in sunny Florida but I am having a bad day.
It will soon be the three year anniversary of estrangement and our grandsons fourth birthday. We saw him three times before we were cut out. His brother every week we cared for him for three years.
My son still has not made contact since he and his sister fought on my birthday in Sept. I’m being punished because I thought he was wrong for yelling at his sister and calling her names in front of her children.
My brother has only been out of his house once in a year and never got his gallbladder taken out. He needs heart pills but can’t see the dr as he is afraid he will catch the flu.
I got bit up taking photos with my DH in a nature preserve and have been itchy and miserable.
And Trump is still President.
Other than all this Florida is great. LOL
I have learned you can be miserable in a good climate as well as a bad one.
I will read all of your posts later after my mind finishes torturing me for the day. Hugs to all of you!

Yogagirl I remember all the unpleasantness before Christmas. You really need to stop having a go at celebgran, particularly now with her son in a very worrying place. She must be so stressed and worried and you really aren't helping. It isn't very nice and doesn't put you in a good light.

Celebgran I'm sure there is some good security for your son, I know how worrying it can be as my sister and her children were in the Middle East when there was alot of trouble and we were frantic. This was before mobile phones and she had been moved somewhere safer and had no access to a phone. My poor mother was distracted. The worry never ends does it.

Celeb pity there are no like on here for posts,but here here. It appears some are trying to move on as hard as that is, you for one celeb. But others seem incredibly bitter,what kind of life are you living if it preoccupies your mind 24/7 I miss the presence of my son terribly,but I stopped trying to contact/heal rift a number of years ago. Too much ongoing pain to keep raking up. I know I am very blessed and that I have 4 beautiful GD's who I see frequently.