Fathers-in-Law

My fil was a very nice man, few old fashioned ideas but nice anyway. So was my mil too.

My FiL introduced me to my husband. Knew him for three years before I met my husband. My DiL's don't see my husband, their FiL,except for Christmas when one visits for an hour, one comes maybe every other year for 15mins, and the third doesn't visit Christmas or any other time. Very sad situation.

I never met my in-laws. My MIL died when my husband was just seventeen. His dad was never in the picture. I would have liked to have known them.

What a coincidence! Maggiemaybe.I am a Canadian but dad was British and spent war years in India in the RAF. Also a photographer! Perhaps they knew each other! My dad was a musician, and played in small groups while there. We have some very interesting photos from that time. his brother was also there I believe.

Blucat How sad for them that they have missed out on so much. My fil was an orphan of mixed nationality and never met his parents. He kept himself very much to himself and he and I were for ever strangers. He did not appear to bond with his sons, my dh's, children.

Mine was a nice enough chap but a bit snobbish. He was even-tempered, methodical and kindly, MIL is childlike, temperamental, domineering and rather silly - not very sophisticated. I often wonder what attracted them to each other - she was ten years younger and there were times when he pandered to her like a child. He did the traditional men's things - mowing the lawn, home/car maintenance, organising the finances.
When he passed away MIL had never written a cheque out, had no idea how to wire a plug, didn't even know what to do if all the lights went out. Not a very happy state of affairs really.

Lovely Scottish FinL. Great fun (remember him dancing on a table at a party.) Unfortunately he was very ill for 10 years, but even on the day he died he was smiling and seemed so happy to see his family around him. Thank you for this post, lovely memories of such a lovely gentleman.

I only knew my FiL for a few years, because he died of a stroke quite young. Husband's Mum also died very young, I never knew her.
He remarried eventually, but it didn't last long, and she left him. After which he was often at our house, brought me his washing, ate with us etc.
He was a cantankerous old so-and-so, and very chauvinistic. Better not to say any more.

My 2nd husband dad I never met so I can't say much. He was much loved by my MiL and family. I am sure I would have got on with him. My 2nd Fil passed just as I met my 2nd husband. My 2nd MiL is lovely. Something that can't be said about the first one.

My ex deceased FiL I loved/love to bits. He was a good kind God fearing man who practiced his faith as a Christian should.

He knew what his son (the ex) was like and hated it. When I met my 2nd husband and we got engaged and on the morning we married he gave me his blessing from beyond the grave.

Before he passed a robin always appeared before someone died. After he passed a robin always appeared at times when I had his blessing. At times of the year you would not expect to see one too.

A truly wonderful man whom I still think about with much love and affection

My FIL was a lovely man. He had a wicked sense of humour and was so generous. There are many holidays we had when our children were small that we couldn't have afforded if he hadn't paid. My DH remembers as a child him literally giving him the food off his plate.
Sadly he died a few years ago and suffered from Alzheimer's. He was super relaxed with it and thankfully still retained his sense of humour till the end. My DH and I became his carers and we were only too happy to do it for such a humble, generous man.
He was really close to our DC and they adored him. We sure do miss him.

My F.i.L. was a man of few words and never really had much of a relationship with him. M.i.L. I quite liked . She was a hard worker and told it like it was. But neither of them had much of a relationship with our kids. Don't really know why. We did not live very near them, nor to my parents. Our choice!

Some very moving stories here.

My FiL was PoW in deepest Russia - possibly Siberia, but he never spoke about it - until 1948. They didn't get married till he got back and DH was born in 1950 when his mother was 38 and his father 43, his sister 2 years later.

FiL never spoke much at all, by all accounts he had been like that since he came back from Russia, but I think he was quite fond of me and of DS1.

His dementia was quite bad by the time DS3 was due. He never seemed to realise that we had a third son at all. My MiL was a tower of strength, coping with him and looking after DS1 & 2 whilst I was in hospital. She had been a trained nursery nurse, and loved babies, but in retrospect, it was quite selfish of us to expect her to look after them all as she was 77 at the time.

MiL was run over aged 81 when she popped out to the shops one day. FiL was bedridden by then, but he survived her by nearly a year.

My DH is a similar sort of FiL. He has known DiL1 for ages, as he taught at the same school that she and all our 3 boys went to. Like his father, he is not outwardly affectionate, but inside I can see he is bursting with pride and affection for the DGC and their mothers.

There are some lovely stories here. Luckily I had a wonderful father but never had a FIL relationship. I saw my first FIL maybe 5 or 6 times before he died (my in-laws were divorced). My second husband lost his father when he was a boy so I never met him.

My FIL was a lovely man who had a hard life growing up with his grandparents, losing his first wife when she was very young, leaving him with DH to bring up. He remarried and sadly died just before our DS was born.

My FiL is a truly horrible man!
He's mean, racist, doesn't care a damn about anyone but himself, treats my DH like filth (he doesn't treat me like muck as I avoid him like the plague) and yet expects everyone to dance attention on him.
When my MiL died, he started 'chatting up' a woman at the funeral! The woman in question (I shan't call her a lady) had been a casual aquaintance of MiL and it was common knowledge that she was 'after him' or rather 'after his money'! Two weeks after MiL's funeral, he went on holiday with this woman!
He made an absolute fool of himself over this gold digger, and when he forgot our DS's birthday (his only grandchild) because he was too busy planning yet another foreign holiday with her, DH told him that his behaviour left a little to be desired. His reaction to that was to threaten to cut DH out of his will! DH was really upset, so I went to see FiL, told him exactly what I thought of him,and where he could shove his money and have never willingly spoken to him since. If I have to see him, very, very rarely and always by accident, I'm civil, say hello, but no more than that!
He's been poisonous for the 37 years that I've known him, and apparently wasn't even a nice child!
Just because he has 'a few bob' he expects the world to revolve around him, looks down on everyone and is unpleasant to the core!

My FiL always wanted daughters. He had two sons. He loved to see my Sis iL and me. He died aged 92, fifteen years ago. Still a twinkle when he saw me even when he was dying. Miss his sense of humour.

I never met mine, sadly but I am sure I would have liked and admired him immensely.

How interesting, nanahall, we need to compare notes! My daughters have his albums now, but I remember that DFIL was stationed in Bhopal and Lahore, amongst other places. We actually have no idea what he did while out there, which is sad, but I know he was in the Flying Control Section. I intend to apply for his service records, as I'd love to know more.

Gosh you've had some lovely FILs haven't you? I'm quite jealous. Mine was hopeless. An old fashioned gentleman who was superficially polite but you knew he was just being patronising. He thought of himself as a raconteur. Just a self opinionated bore really. Neither he nor my MIL showed any affection to anyone, their own children or in laws or grand children. Very sad. Left a dysfunctional family behind. DH never felt loved by either of them. Fortunately he tries his hardest to be a loving and loved DH and grandad too.

I never met my FiL. He died several years before DH and I were married. According to his sisters, DH is nothing like his Dad. He was his mother's son.

This thread has inspired me to find out more about him.

I felt the same way about my FIL as I do my MIL. I think the word is ambivient. He was part of the family and as such I got along with him and he was always included but I never felt any real warmth for him. He was a bit of a flirt and of the old school , in that he never did anything around the house and MIL fussed around him.He was quite a successful business man but a little detached as a father and grandfather.

Good on you Juggernaut for telling him "where he could shove his money" - was it where the sun doesn't shine? ?
I can see you are living up to your name - respect ?

I don’t actually know where in India he was posted but there were pictures of him at the Taj Mahal. I wish I had asked more questions while he was alive.....

I loved my father in law, sadly he died in the 80's but we always got on well. I always got on well with my mother in law too. My mother was a very unfit mother. At the age of eleven I walked 10 miles to my grandmother's house in order to get away from my alcoholic, nympho mother and I never went back. It was two weeks before she realised I was missing.