Fathers-in-Law

Maddy629, I am so sad that your mother was how she was. You sound as if you had a loving grandmother though, even if you had to walk 10 miles to see her. It must have been lovely to have such a good relationship with your In laws as well as a good husband. I am pleased to hear it's worked out well for you. It makes my heart break to think what you and others in your position must have suffered with an unfit parent.

I have enjoyed reading these responses. With a few exceptions it seems that there are/have been some lovely men out there whose role in the family is maybe not so much spoken about, but is nevertheless valued. It's got me thinking about The Wonderful Man as a father-in-law and I know his junior in-laws hold him in very high regard. Our daughter-in-law is very relaxed with him and they have a lovely relationship and our son in law asks his advice and makes special efforts to meet up with him for leisure activities.
Funny - until I started this thread I don't think I'd ever given any real thought to what sort of father-in-law my own husband is.

Disliked mine intensely. He was very "handy" if you know what I mean and made me very uncomfortable. Just after he died one of my SiLs told me he had sexually assaulted herself and her daughter ( his GD) Nasty man . His wife , my MiL was lovely though, very kind and gentle. I often wonder if she knew .

Mine was sweet. My mother-in-law couldn't stand me. She said I was 'too quiet' (I was terrified of her actually). Father-in-law was always kind. Unfortunately he died aged 55. many years ago.

My FIL was ghastly - we used to call him "the little Lancashire tyrant." He had all the stereotypical traits of a little man - bombastic, opinionated, selfish, controlling. And racist beyond belief. And quashed his excepti9nally intelligent and well-educated wife to the point where she took to the bottle.

My OH had a miserable childhood with him - so many cruel stories I could relate.

He lived till 94 - I thought he would never go!!! That sounds dreadful - but so was he!

I had to organise his accommodation at one point later in his life, as he had decided he was going to come and live with us - NO WAY!! I was the one who had to say no to that and organise a flat for him.

He caused us no end of trouble; and is. I believe the source of my OH's lifelong anxiety.

I have had two and both lived to a ripe old age. Both delightful- very kind, easy to talk to and would do anything for me. Sadly missed.

This thread has really made me think about how I felt about my father-in-law. He was ok I guess but not a lot to him really. For example my parents lived near the New Forest and I was telling him about the lovely walks we had done when staying there - his response? "I'd only go on a walk if there was a pub at the end of it". My own dad was such an interesting, intelligent man with a really enquiring mind that he sort of left my father-in-law in the shade. Having said that he was a lovely grandad and always ok to me...........now my mother-in-law - that's another (much longer) story

My first fil was a bully and a hypocrite. He always used to (try) to give me big sloppy kisses which made me cringe. My mil was ruled with a rod of iron. She married him when she was only 17 and after he died, one of the things she said was "I'll be able to watch Coronation St. now!"

I think I was one of the first to say - in so many words - that I didn't like my FiL.
But my own dear Dad was so different - quiet, reserved , gentle. Maybe I expected too much.
My husband loved and respected him more than his own father.

Yes Fennel and so did mine

I only met my father in law twice. He never met our children. He was a drunk, a gambler and a wife beater. He never paid a penny towards his children’s upbringing. His life was wasted. The only good thing to come out of his relationship with my husband was that he was determined to be the exact opposite of him. It worked he’s a really good man but he bears the scars of a damaged childhood.

My father in law was a dear soul. A gentle man in every sense of the words and a man with a quiet approach but with a sense of the ridiculous and a good sense of humour which I always appreciated. He was a man of few words but very often they were very wise words. He very evidently loved my mother in law and enjoyed the presence of his grandchildren, something which I found deeply gratifying. I felt very proud when he told my husband that he thought that we had done a brilliant job in raising our four children. He died a few days after his 70th birthday some 22 years ago, but as is much missed now as he was when we first lost him.