shell shocked

Dear Teddy III what a ghastly time you and your DH are having. I do hope the hospital gets their act together and that everything goes well from now on.

I doubt you have the strength to administer a much needed kick up the backside to the doctors and hospital administrators involved but they really need one!

Is there anyone at all, friend or relation who can help out at all? I hope there is.

I don't have any words of wisdom to offer, but just to say I am so sorry you are having such an awful time right now. I do hope your DH can be treated successfully. I can understand that his aggressive behaviour may have its roots in fear. Something has happened that he can't control, so maybe he is trying to wrest control over other areas of his life. This doesn't make it any easier for you, I know.

Yesterday,Sunday,gout was very painful.He said he was getting chest pain and had to take GTN spray twice.He said if it gets any worse,we'll have to ring 999,if I do,they won't operate on Friday. I kept talking about other things to distract him,I think he was nearly panicking.(So was I).
It passed off after while.He phoned surgery this morning and saw a nurse,the Dr prescribed Naprosyn for the gout,he had been told before that he couldn't have it with his heart meds. I do hope it helps.It is all so frightening.

Any chest pains are frightening as you get older but it must be doubly so when you need to be well enough to have an op. If you are worried about the gout medication with his heart meds the pharmacist should be able to reassure you. I am willing Friday to come quickly for you x

Teddy111, How is your husband? Has he had the op? x

How are things Teddy111....hope your husband is feeling better xx

Thank you for remembering.It is very kind.I took him into hospital last Thursday.He had op, friday morning.Saturday morning they took out the drain and epidural and by mistake,stopped morphine,he just had co-codamol over w/e.I didn't know that but when I spoke to him on the phone, he said the pain was very bad and he had asked for exrta painkillers.I told him he must ask for more pain relief if he needs it.I visited on Saturday,he was obviously very tender but could walk to the toilet.The consultant put him back on morphie on Monday.He was quite positive about having had the op.I brought him home yesterday.

Well, that's better news that he has had his op; you have to shout for morphine these days as there is an effort not to use it because of its addictive properties. Unfortunately, that can leave you quite vulnerable. Still, alls well that ends well, at least he has the pain medication he needs.
You will no doubt be very busy looking after his needs so thank you for taking the time out to reply. I hope it is onwards and upwards hereon in. x

Good luck with the convalescence! Hope all continues to go well.

He has been incredibly brave.Fine the first night but suffered breakthrough pain,Wednesday and last night.Surgery says no repeat prescription can be prescibed by the GP because they have not had the written letter from the hospital.The receptionist said he would have to take Paracetamol.He is on just about the lowest dose of morphine and has taken a tablet in the night,Wed and Thurs.He is supposed to be getting his next prescription Tuesday and is obviously frightened of running out before then.I have to take him to surgery for 5,tonight,to get stitches out from drain,so have asked for quick appt with GP.

That sounds incredibly immoveable of the surgery when he has had an operation! My daughter has to have morphine on a regular basis and the surgery would have arranged for the Dr to ring her if need be. I hope they are sympathetic when he gets there.

Hello,Thank you for messages,the doctor has increased the dose of morphine and I think that now he knows that, he can manage his pain without panicking.It would be terrifying to think you could just run out of it.

I came downstairs this morning and sat in the front room,in the dark,I didn't open the curtains or get my slippers off the radiator.Not even got a cup of tea.
I know how poorly he feels and tiptoe about so that I don't wake him. He went back to bed at nine o'clock ,still there.He had been up twice in the night,two hours each time.Says he feels better just sitting on a kitchen chair. He says the morphine controls the pain but he jerks awake in the night feeling breathless.It must be so frightening.I had been shopping for food yesterday and he said,all he is having for tea every night is a tin of soup. I had bought him some smoked haddock,(too salty),free range chicken,(don't want that) ,I suggested scrambled eggs on toast(huh),cheese,beans,tomatoes,(huh).Would he like a slice of the brown loaf,his favourite, that I had got from Lidl,I had waited for it and it was still warm,(no,I can't eat anything else now I've had soup). I bought some icecream as sometimes it helps if you feel a bit queasy,(No,I don't want that).
It is three weeks since op.I am just having a moan and feel so guilty.He must be so frightened that he is not getting any better.

I wish I knew what to say. sometimes illpeople can be tempted to eat by smell of food. Sometimes the smell of food can make things worse. Tinned soup is not appealing. How about some thin homemade soup with chicken or beef stock and a little puréed veg to taste. Good stock in jars tho expensive. Soft boiled egg and toast soldiers. Home made gravy with buttery mashed potatoes. What about a little classical music or piano music. Noise may or may not be irritating. Do look after yourself too, scented bath, mindless film. Do ask the surgery to visit if possible if it is easier than going there. Perhaps there is a surgery nurse who can give good advice. I just wanted you to know I had read your post and feel for you both.

Apologies for the typos. Watching Commonwealth games and cooking. Too much multitasking!

Teddy firstly I’m so sorry that you are both having to deal with this. I think that the Morphine might be stopping your husband from feeling hungry.

My DF spent a lot of time sitting in his chair when he was sick, with my DM trying to tempt him with tasty food and I did the same with her when she was ill.

When my DM was ill, I asked her to speak to her doctor and give her permission for the Dr. to speak to me in private if necessary, it was far easier for me to ask the Dr. questions Without my Mum sitting there. I was able to discuss various treatment options etc.

I hope all goes well for you both.

Morphine can make you feel queasy., Teddy111. And constipated. Do you have a followup appt soon? Or have you seen the GP recently?
Thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

Ensure or Complan are useful in this situation. But perhaps not great with the constipation, which does need treating.

When I was given opiates after my knee replacement I completely lost my appetite. I tried to eat because I knew I had to but was very sick. Sleep was a problem too. Could only manage it in short bursts. His appetite loss could easily be due to the meds.
You poor thing are having a difficult time too. You're doing a great job looking after him. Don't forget to look after yourself!

Thank you,all of you.Just needed to grumble.Over myself now.Got some lovely sweet little pears,lots of soft prunes,easy peelers and Movicol,Senna tabs and ask him every day,if he's o.k.I told him how important it is,not to have to strain.I bought some suppositories and put in the drawer near the bed and told him to use them if necessary.The trouble with morphine is,enough to prevent breakthrough pain and to keep it to a manageble level and he seems to have worked it out very well.Saw Gp who adjusted dose and he is not on a big dose.Have appt with consultant in 3 weeks.3 specialist nurses gave us their cards,rang one,on holiday,next ,off for three days.Left a message for the last one,she phoned back 2 days later and suggested GP,that's what we did.It is sometimes difficult to remain positive and hard not to sound jolly hockey sticks,as if you are making nothing of the pains he describes.

Oh dear Teddy I have been reading your posts and you have been on a roller coaster Your poor husband has so many different things going on at the same time that it’s hard to combat one without compromising another
I just wanted to add my thoughts and good wishes and let you know we are all here rooting for you and your husband
?

Dear Teddy , is he taking paracetamol regularly ? Because that might help with morphine as a top up if necessary. I would try to contact a symptom control nurse if possible.
Wishing you all the best.

Thank you,so much for your time and kind wishes,it does help.

loopyloo,he is taking paracetamol,the consultant had told him to use it.Thank you.

Teddy111, when my Grandad was struggling to eat, the Dr prescribed him some drinks so that he was getting the most nutrition from the smallest amount. I found that I could get him to drink a vanilla one with a spoonful of coffee instead of normal coffee which helped enormously. Lactulose is good for constipation and seems to work quite gently. I hope he starts to feel better soon and I hope your needs are being addressed too. x