Really really sad

I don't think you ever 'move on' from your husband having an affair and leaving you. It's like a wound that heals over but can still reopen at any time . And I totally understand why you find family occasions so stressful. But, I do agree that it's nothing to do with disloyalty on the part of your son, DIL's etc. and no one is intending to hurt you. I'm lucky in that my ex is no longer with the woman he left us for and we all get on well with his new partner, but we very rarely all spend time together.

Nanna is just easy to say I think - is your DH's wife Nanna to any other grandchildren from her own DC?
My 2 DILs are very, very friendly with my exhusband's wife and I think they are behind this. I feel so betrayed.
Probably it was just the first name that came to mind - rather it is from not thinking it through than being deliberately hurtful at all.

Don't feel betrayed, don't move away, that is an over-reaction.
If the two year old says 2 Nannas another time it may be best to say, 'Yes, you have, you lucky boy - Nanna crazyH and Nanna Wotshername'. What are your DIL's mothers called? Are they Nanna too? In which case, just nicely suggest you all use your Christian names too.

Don't estrange yourself from them all

Only 2 grandmas in our family both called Grandma with their names afterwards. When only one of us is around we are both just called Grandma, when we are together, we are Grandma M and Grandma B.

I agree with Tegan, You are entitled to your feelings CrazyH. What happened to you was hurtful and cruel. It will always be embedded in your thinking and there will be moments where you get reminders of the pain. The thing is not to react to it in such a way that you end up jumping off a cliff. Your ex husband was wrong to betray you and if his now wife was part of the betrayal, she was wrong too.

Feel your pain, let it pass and just know that a part of you has just reached out to be healed. Don't move. Give it a few more days, normal service will soon be resumed.
Don't let anyone minimize your pain or what happened to you but don't let it upend your life either. xxx

At the risk of being shot down in flames I think OP is entirely over reacting. If instead of “nana” it had been “grandma” or “granny” would you have been bothered?
A toddler will not be able to distinguish between different names for a grandmother but will say the easiest thing for him or her. To many children a grandmother IS nana.
So far I have been “Gaza”and “garry” to my youngest DGS (20 months) I was Anga to DGS 1 at that age and Nanny for a while (hated that but he eventually learned otherwise)
The other grandchildren call both grandmothers “granny” but does it REALLY matter.
It seems you are carrying the sins of the (grand) father, your ex on to another innocent generation.
As a result you are making yourself really unhappy.
If you do what you are threatening you will be the one to suffer most - like cutting off your nose to spite your face.
I truly do not wish to sound unkind, but you NEED to move on from your ex’s betrayal 20 years ago . Instead you are fanning the flames by bearing this grudge.
Trust me, there are worse things that could happen. Enjoy the fact that you have healthy and loving grandchildren .
Disloyalty? I doubt it, but I fear the bitterness you feel is eating away at you so that you see treachery in the most innocent things.

Meant to add, bear in mind there are grans on this site who have NEVER seen their DGSs or who have been cut out of their lives by malicious AC, I expect they couldn’t care less what their DGCs called them if only they could hear them call them something.

Don't give up the day job MawBroon.

And that is meant to mean precisely what?

I feel like re-settling as far away from family as possible. I don't think I can carry on much longer when I am experiencing such disloyalty That would be cutting off your nose to spite your face! Why does a name matter ...your grandchildren won't feel differently about you just because someone else is also Nanna! I don't think it is disloyalty atall, just a name - one your Grandchild already knows or maybe it is easy to say...try to move on from this...please don't let it damage your relationships

That is an excellent post MawBroon

Do grandfathers feel such angst at the other grandfather having the same monicker? There is not so much variation - perhaps Gramps, Grandpa?

What's in a Name?

Nanna was a dog anyway so I am not sure why it is so popular. My DM was called Nanna (or Nana) by her many DGC and disliked it - she should have stood firm!

apologies to all the Nannas out there on GN

(creeps away with tail between legs [blush)

My own children always referred to my mum as Nana with the dogs name and in-law as Nana with the cats name. Great Grandmother was just little nana due to her stature . GD's always called me Nana as DIL is estranged from her mother and the little grandson's also call me Nana but their other Grandma is SueSue. As everyone has said it's just a name and your ex's wife has been in the family long enough to warrant Nana too. Just be happy and enjoy every minute with them.

I know how insensitive it may seem to you but children sometimes don’t realise they can be hurtful....my grandaughter of 30 mths has called us all nanny.(dil parents are separated both remarried).recently she has added our first names and has now decided to add our surnames too..seems she now has decided how to differentiate....give this a little more time and under no circumstances should you move.

MawBroon
Totally agree.
I certainly got over my ex husbands many affairs. Best favour he ever did me.

I agree with maw. It seems a tad passive aggressive to me. I'm not keen on the idea that everyone else needs to tiptoe around a hurt that happened 20 years ago.

Mawbroon, I didn't mean anything. Cell Block H are looking for new recruits though.

Nana was the family name for a grandmother in both our families so my DM was Nana in x and DH’s was Nana in y. Depending on which town they lived in.
I don’t think moving away would take away the hurt you feel. But instead you may well add loneliness to it.
When I helped in my GS’s Reception class, an EAL boy called me Nana. He heard GS calling me that and obviously assumed it was the English word for elderly lady ?

sorry Purpledaffodil I hope I didn't cause any offence
Nana was the dog in Peter Pan.

Cell Block H are looking for new recruits though. Ooh er.
"My way or the Highway" ?

Oo-er nina1959 WTF?

I thought you were in a cell MawBroon, who let you out?

Here we go, knitting needles at dawn. It does amuse me.

Stupid comment.

The person who wrote the thread asked if people thought she may be overreacting. Some think she is. That's all.

Diddums Jalima. Diddums.

MissAdventure, she was hurting and looking for advice. She doesn't need judging or her feelings minimizing. A temporary revival of old pain that's all.