Kind helpful suport with moving on from family estrangement

kitlong so sorry to hear that. I'm sure your are supporting your son and hopefully when he gets contact sorted he will include you. What a lovely day that will be.

I used to be the HR manager in a business before I retired. A young man I employed went through the same as your son, except it was one baby not two. I was asked to write a statement for CAFCAS (I think that is what they are called) and I did, his ex had told some terrible lies including that he wasn't trusted at work. The guy from CAFCAS talked to me after he got the statement and told me they were supporting him and he did get contact. It was limited at first and I think the first few meetings were supervised but he did everything asked of him and eventually got a midweek visit and every other weekend he had him for the whole weekend. There is hope.

123flump thank you very much for the kind words and for giving me hope - sounds dramatic but its already been going on for what feels a lifetime, so to hear a great "end" story is very positive!

Thank you for the pms - one offering support it, thank you, another that I don't care to comment on however I'll just say I wont be posting anything again, I really don't want to be involved in a site with so much background nonsense going on.

Kit long you are very welcome on this thread and am sorry you didn't get help before.

Am so sorry this is painful day for you?Heartbreaking that the little ones pulled through only for you and ds to have fight for contact.

I am not sure what you meant by pms and hope no one has tried cause trouble this thread is very harmonious ??.

Although we try focus on positive we all have down times and are here for each other.

I do hope your sons gets contact and then you also please keep us posted,

kitlong, it is good to know things can work out and I hope it does for you. I am sorry someone was unpleasant and hope you don't judge us all.

Gmelon that's very good don't know that song but "how can I give you my world if you won't take if from me, is excellent ."

Kit, my friend has been through something similar.
He wasn't allowed to see his child purley through spite really, all because he broke up with her.
They went to court and she made him jump through every hoop...
Well he did! He jumped through every hoop and proved all she said was lies..
He now sees his daughter alot and has her overnight, special occasions etc.

Your son will get there, there is a light at the end of the tunnel

Good for him violet floss

It's tough for men as I may be wrong but in my limited xperience mothers often win the day.

A girl I knew cut off all contact with her 3 daughters father and told lot lies to court. He didn't have money or courage to fight it,
So sad I that case.

However it's much more common nowadays for fathers to get equal rights as mothers.

I hope kitlong comes back. Perhaps whoever sent the pm could apologise?

Yes that would be nice 123 flump but doubt anyone will admit responsibility.

If you reading kitlong I hope you are ok.
X

Kitlong, you are so very welcome on this thread, so sorry someone has upset you, that is very unkind, and this thread is about kindness and caring support. Also about trying to focus on the positive, and whilst you must be grieving a lot at this moment in time, having to see your beloved son in such pain, and all of you denied contact with two dear little babies who need their family so much, the positive in your case is that certainly your son, and therefore you, will be awarded contact eventually. Then you will be able to offer all the love your tiny grandchildren have every right to, and what they deserve.

Good morning everyone I must get on with cleaning today.

Have been very upset by last nights posts on other "support thread" but heartened by kind support from unexpected posters!

Do hope we can all support each other in positive way on here.

Have good day all

Kitlong I have also received PMs which I have never commented publicly on. It is not typical of GN and I hope it does not put you off. {flowers}

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Estrangement is a pretty weird thing to go through and until recently when we were cut out of a friends' group I had not experienced anything like it myself. I know that friends estrangement is nothing like family but it has given me an inkling of what it is like.
It is so sad that families get caught up in such things and it can be for a myriad of reasons. Maybe the worst thing is not knowing and not being able to find out. I can remember someone once saying about something, "Well, if you don't know I am not going to tell you" which makes no sense at all.
My DH's estranged older brother recently died and DH has been in bits about it as now there will never be a reconciliation. They never had a good relationship at all and when their parents died his brother cut off all contact and that is more than 30 years ago. All those years we sent cards and letters for birthdays and Christmas and never received anything back. DH never knew the whys and wherefores and now he never will and says he thinks it was just because he was born. He is starting to come to terms with it all but on top of everything else that has happened healthwise it has all been a bit much to deal with. We thought we would never know of any death before he was long dead but it turned out not to be the case. I am just thankful that DH is not well enough to even contemplate attending a funeral - how horrible is that?! On the positive side contact has now been made with the family so we shall see what that brings.

Kitlong, so sorry you and your son are in this situation. Harder to see your son suffering as well as the grandchildren, a mother always wants to keep her child from hurting, no matter the age. Please take some comfort from the success stories from other posters. I hope you and your son have your own good news to post real soon x

Anyone in the mood for cleaning is perfectly welcome to call around here! It’s wet, windy, my eczema is playing up like billy ho ( stress induced) and I should be sleeping, but can’t. (On the night shift but last night tonight). Got some big decisions to make soon and chopping and changing my mind, need answer soon, hence eczema. Eek, need one of those magic 8 balls I think they’re called, but a crystal ball would be even better. Sorry I seem to be talking rubbish but it is the right of the sleep deprived. Stress is definitely not character building at all ?. Have heard the UK is in for some nasty cold weather. Please stay warm everyone, stock up on food and petrol: gas/ brandy and stay safe and cosy indoors., Sending you all some virtual ?. Take care x

Synonymous that's so awful for your poor husband.

Can't help thinking been 9 years I been sending cards to my estranged daughter and presents up until this year never ever hear back.
Imagine doing it for 30 years!
So sorry he passed before any reconciliation could occur I do dread that for myself but have had to accept it's likely.

Thanks for sharing that and wish your husband well.

Thanks ms meptop it's 6.25 here and I have awful neuralgia In head, brought on by dreadful posts on original thread I guess all stress..

Never mind this is positive thread!

Have she few tears let's hope they healing.

Sorry am all cleaned out did loads yesterday, well overdue.

On bright note saw my dear twin brother, one whose grandkids we close to,
Also dh took me to a show forever In Blue jeans it was great just what I needed,

Hope everyone else slept better it's v cold here at moment msmmeptop is it summer still in oz?

Haha, supposed to be! Has been hot as hell now we’re also enjoying thunderstorms, rain and winds. Rain is good but I do hate driving in it to work in the dark when it rains do heavy you can’t see a thing. Quite scary. We should start cooling down a bit, been 25 c today and people walking about with coats and thick jumpers. Not me though, I always feel the heat! It’s also so humid that sometimes things feel a bit damp. However, it’s supposed to clear up a bit come Monday. I really should be sleeping, last night of night shift tonight but too much going through my head. Got up earlier and put hubbys dinner on in the slow cooker. Bit of an alsorts. Had lamb chops and rib eye steaks so chucked them in with potatoes, onion, garlic and tomato purée. Forgot the carrots. Goodness knows how it’ll turn out as I won’t be eating it. However, it’s meat and hot with some vegs and lovely hubby never complains. He certainly didn’t marry me for my cooking, that’s for sure. I lump it in the same class as ironing and shopping. Ping tings are my friend. I can have a perfectly good cheese and spinach cannelloni in six minutes ? Hod bless the inventor of the microwave. I would much rather stay home tonight but needs must.,Really must buy that winning lottery ticket. Really loved the sound of that show, that’s something I do miss out here. They’ve got some ballet orvotjer on at the theatre in town but not my cup of tea. This place so big and spread out it’s hard to get to some venues. At least the beach is very close by but not so good in this weather., Much better than being frozen solid though so I shan’t complain. I don’t do snow and ice very well. Hope you have a better day today. X

Just had to laugh at the advert below my post. “How to remove eye bags and look younger” ? Give me the winning lottery numbers, that should do it ??

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Just read your post mrsmeptop and it made me chuckle!

Is money the answer to all our beauty worries? ha ha

You would get wrinkles from the frowns as you tried to work out what to do with all that cash.

Such a beautiful message of hope, gmelon! Enjoy, enjoy! I would try to avoid those falling outs - bite my tongue, overlook some things, etc. - just in case his old attitude emerges again at any point. But, mostly, just want to say how amazing! And how kind of you to share!

You, too, maddy! Snce I'm not co, perhaps idk how a egp might feel. But, to me, your good news brings with it a good omen for others. It may not happen for everyone, but there's a chance.

I agree with Violet, gmelon, that respecting ds' feelings is key. That's what so many parents/gps don't get, imo (not saying anyone here), that ds or dd is reacting to their view of the situation, whether or not it is accurate or their parents/pils see it the same way. You've sort of met mds where he is, instead of insisting that he move his head somewhere else.. Also, you apologized for what HE sees as wrong in the past. And that, I imagine, is largely why he's sticking around this time.