Kind helpful suport with moving on from family estrangement

Have to go, but Kit, I just want to say that I'm sure you'll see your gc again when ds gets everything straightened out through court. There will be many, many birthdays and Xmases to enjoy. So please don't worry.

Message deleted by Gransnet.

Something I saw on FB today

Just having a bit of a bad day today. Read a post about apologies on another thread which didn’t help. Just can’t understand why everything turned out the way it has. Can’t help feeling very very jealous and envious of others that still have their daughters in their lives. Just too hard today.

Oh Mesmoptop.....so sorry you're feeling this way. Yes something triggers the sadness.....and we return to that black hole. You are not alone. ?

Sorry you're feeling down, MMT! (((Hugs!)))

Thankyou ladies,, it does help to know that there are people who can understand

Just wondering where everyone has gone? The other thread appears more geared to estrangement involving grandchildren, rather than just adult children. Miss the ladies I had been conversing with. Hope you are all well.

Yes Mesmes, there doesn't seem to be anyone here...I suppose there are so many estrangement threads, people are posting randomly. Unfortunately, I cannot remember your story, (will go back and read) but whatever it is and whoever you are estranged from, I hope you're feeling ok today. I don't normally get up so early, sad thoughts hit me and I'm back to square one. Have a nice day

The other thread is for anyone estranged from a loved one MesMopTop, not just GP's from GC. Estranged GP's are more often than not estranged from their AC so even if there are no GC involved in your case, the posters there will understand what you're dealing with. It just so happens that the majority of the regular posters have GC involved in this terrible situation too.

I'm sure you'll find some of the ladies you conversed with in the past in there so I hope you'll pop on, have a read and maybe share with us.

gmelon. Wonderful news for you, so glad. So everyone it gives us hope, perhaps in time all our D,S & GC will be visiting us again & in contact. We must just give it time and hopefully all will be healed. It was my DH birthday yesterday and it hurts me that it is ignored by D. However it is the fourth b'day since NC and now I contact all friends & relatives & ask them to send cards, which they do, so at least DH has plenty of good wishes. Perhaps a card will arrive one day from D & GC. Always try & think on the bright side of life.x

Hi everyone, I haven’t been on this thread or the other one for quite a while, the reason was that there was some unpleasantness on the other thread, and I decided to stop posting. Mesmoptop, that is why I no longer posted, maybe that is why some others stopped posting. There were also some posters who were apparently blocked by Gransnet.
I hope you’re all okay as you carry on with the awful burden of estrangement. I wish everyone well.

I'm not estranged from my Darling GrandSon but I fear I am about to be because the adults have fallen out. I'll try to be concise and would appreciate any advice. My sister was awarded Special Guardianship of my DGS 8 years ago because my Darling Daughter was not able to care for her son properly being a single mum with an undiagnosed mental health disorder. My brother in law and I have a difficult relationship and this impacted on me not being allowed to see my DGS for 2 years shortly after they were given the SGO. I took the matter to court and was awarded a court order allowing me access to him once a month for 5 hours and a weekly phone call. Over time we have built bridges my sister and I and I have gradually been allowed to see my DGS more frequently and indeed allowed to take him on many holidays. After a recent altercation with my brother in law, my sister has taken exception and reverted back to contact being once a month for 5 hours to spite me but of course it's not only hurting me I know this will devastate my DGS for many reasons. He is now not able to go to the theatre with me in May to see his favourite film brought to life in a Musical Stage Production not least I'm not going to be allowed to take him on holiday to Devon during half term at the end of May because of petty spitefulness. In the past 7 years my DD has had a diagnosis and for the past 7 years she has been leading a stable life and now feels she could be reconciled with her son with my support. My sister made her contact visits so unpleasant and my daughter felt so bullied by them that she felt she could no longer maintain contact for fear of her own well being. Can anyone tell me what I should do, who to contact, how to get the ball rolling. I need to act quickly before anymore damage is caused to my beautiful DGS

It is such a difficult topic to write about, and to admit that you are part of an estrangement. I find it really, really next to impossible to discuss that my daughter has been estranged from me for many years.
I know very little about her and her current life. She very occasionally writes to my very elderly mother but has no communications with any other family. She lives with her father (my X), and not even in the same country as I do.
How do we "deal" with it? We think of them everyday. We sometimes take to hoping for reunion but must be realistic. We live with great fear that we may never see them again. I live with a type of loss that is compared to a death but cannot be socially discussed or accepted. Advice to reach out only leaves me being verbally abused and I can no longer do that to myself.
We remain and must focus on all things that are good and right, and each day, forward.

Hi maddyone it's good to see you posting again. I'm sorry that the unpleasantness a couple of months ago deterred you. TBH a few of us were affected by it.

Another thread on estrangement is up and running and you'll find all us regulars there. One poster was blocked by GN, the poster who started this thread which is why we post on the other one.

Perhaps you CathieMarie and NannyNancy would like to take a look and join us.

Thank you for the heads up Smileless2012. Are you allowed to signpost me to that thread. I'm finding the site a bit difficult to navigate but that's probably because I'm new here and need to learn the drill. TIA

Hi CathieMarie the thread is called 'Support for all who are living with estrangement (2)' and all you need to do is what you did when you came on here and go to the last page where you can post if you want to.

Hope to see you there.

Nananancy, you are not alone, so many others in the same position. I had to make a positive decision to say enough so enough, I didn't want to become neurotic and bitter, however much I loved my girl, I had to accept what she wanted. She knows the truth, so do I and my conscience is clear. Keep on sending birthday and Christmas card just saying you love and miss her, sorry if you have inadvertently hurt her and you hope on day she will want to see you. This forum us for support and I hope you use it.