Support for all who are living with estrangement (2)

Girls are due any minute, lasagne in the oven and fizz and lagers in the fridge. All set for a great evening.

Enjoy yours whatever you're up too

Have great evening Smileless.

Just popping in to say hello. I look forward to talking with the newbies here. Three years now being estranged from two darling little boys. Can not believe they are letting it go on soooo ling. Still upset about the shooting here in the states. And our president wants teachers to arm themselves. Really. They didn’t pay me enough before I retired. Sometimes I wish the English would take us back.

Hello Rhinestone - I have American friends, some of whom have lived in England for 30 years plus but have adult children and grandchildren in the US. I recognise our cultures regarding guns are very different and that the way America was built meant the right to arms was built into the constitution. Many other countries have high levels of gun ownership but they do not have the mass shootings that are sadly so frequent in US schools and other venues where large numbers of people gather.
The idea of arming teachers seems the worst possible response to me. There is a facebook meme doing the rounds with images of the shooting of President Ronald Regan, who was surrounded by armed agents at the time. The facebook comment is "if only he'd had an armed maths teacher with him".
Sorry folks, I recognise this is off Post - however, for grandparents who are estranged (or not) and have grandchildren in America, this issue must be a nightmare

Katek, lovely to see you drop by earlier and looking forward to seeing you again sometime soon.

Thank you so much for the compliment GrannyGrace but truly, the credit goes to all of us here conntributing today and working towards creating our safe place to share our journey.

I know Smileless, me a newbie here, be gentle with me, I am still learning.

IrishRose, me too, I have followed these ladies here for years and feel as if I know them really well too !

It's good to have you here and of course you don't have to share your story, it's ok to just read if that helps you,

How about you just maybe give is a quick wave every now and then though so we know that you are still around and we haven't talked you to sleep.

Hello Norah, oh I think we'll stand the test of time here, everyone is so keen to make it work and get on with offering a listening ear and virtual hug. It's lovely to see you here too Norah and hope you'll drop by to say "Hello" again sometime real soon,

Hello Rhinestone, great to hear from you here again.

So sorry you are sharing the estrangement path with some of us others and I hear your cry, in that yes, it's unbelievable "they" can keep it going so long isn't it ? So many wasted years that neither "they" or us can ever have back.

I just did not know what to make of it when I heard the news on TV about teachers being armed, I suppose fortunate we don't have to do that in our schools here, just can't imagine how awfully scary that would be for the children and parents too, dropping them off to be met by an armed teacher.

I don't think you were off post Iam64, not at all, we know of one poster here, Rhinestone for whom the gun issue is a very big worry.

I do hope Yoga has found whoever Dawn is by now and that Smileless is enjoying her evening.

I saw a recent picture of my estranged son on facebook today. I didn't tell anyone incase they got upset too. It hurts.

Oh my, things can move very fast around gransnet. Went to sleep, woke up and when I came back. Poofff.....you’d all gone. Happy to have found you all again. Here’s wishing this new thread every success. It really does amaze me how many of us are out there trying to make sense of something that makes no sense. I am grateful to all the lovely ladies that have given me of their time and shared their wisdom. Cheers dears ?????? And sorry, but found this emoji (if that’s the right word) for one of the ladies on here. Can you guess who it is? ?‍♀️ ?

Morning all

How lovely to come on this morning and see all the positive posts

Hope you enjoyed your dinner party with your neighbour girlies Smileless

Yes awful what's happening in USA. My stepchildren live their, as their mother met someone on-line, moved them all out there. She married, then divorced, she came back to UK, but the children stayed Minniapolis. Rhinestone I know I've got that spelling wrong no spell check on my laptop

Cornishsue sorry you were left feeling hurt last night after seeing the photograph of your ES on Facebook, how do you feel today ?
For me it depends how I am feeling on the day when I come by a photo, some days I look on Facebook, see a photo and am comforted that my EAC looks well and happy. Other days I can feel quite confused, thinking "Why" ?
Enjoy your Sunday whatever you have planned.

Good Morning MesMopTop, Pleased you found us again and now let me think, who could that emoji possibly be ?

Good Morning Yogagirl, enjoy your Sunday.

That looks like yoga to me MMT lol thanks for that

Bad idea to look on FB Cornishsue, I never do, too, too upsetting

Have a nice day every one, I'm off to teach some more yoga, so I'll be back late afternoon. The sun is shinning, where's that snow then

Morning Joannab you too, new threads going well xx

Morning everyone. It may be freezing but a great morning to be alive.

Morning all. Everyone sounds tickers!

What I’m liking about this thread is the general everyday friendly chatter. Obviously first and foremost it’s for listening and supporting anyone who needs it, and that’s given wholeheartedly. However, sometimes it’s good to attempt to focus on other things. Doesn’t always work I know, but worth a try. Just my observation.. I’m good at them!!

Good Morning Minty and IrishRose,
I agree IrishRose, this thread is here for support foremost but light hearted chit chat is good too, can take our mind of things.

Morning all, have a blessed Sunday.

Cornishsue sorry you were left feeling hurt last night after seeing the photograph of your ES on Facebook, how do you feel today ?For me it depends how I am feeling on the day when I come by a photo, some days I look on Facebook, see a photo and am comforted that my EAC looks well and happy. Other days I can feel quite confused, thinking "Why" ?

Thank you for asking joannab. It's been a horrible day and am looking at the clock wondering how early I can get away with going to bed. I know exactly what you mean about different days, but actually today it was different moments. One photo he looked thin and sad and I felt terrible, and the next quite happy, and my initial gladness was replaced by feeling even worse than he was happy without us. I mean obviously I want him to be happy but....well, just not today. Don't know if that made me feel so awful today, or I already was and it made it worse. Thanks for asking and hope you had a better day yourself x

I've had a lovely day, thankyou, Cornishsue and am sorry to read that yours has not been so good. I know what you mean about seeing your ES looking happy without you. I think others here will be able to relate to that, I know that I do. It's as if there is a burning desire inside that we want to share that happiness with our estranged sons, daughters and their families too but aren't able because they wont let us in.

Oh so sad to hear about your situation Cornishsue......I am not estranged as such, but my older son and I have grown apart, since his marriage. I see them on and off, usually at family occasions, and we are civil to each other. But I cannot imagine, being totally cut off. And just seeing them on FB. Does he live in another town!
My heart aches for you and for all those who are totally estranged.... be brave and pray that some day, your children will allow you to share their lives.
It's way past midnight. I am an owl anyway, but reading some of the stories here have got me thinking ....I must be grateful for whatever little contact I have.
All the best xxxx

Morning all

Well that predicted snow is falling I have a 9am hairdressing app. Wednesday morning, may need to alter to later in the day, otherwise I'll be digging my car out!

Cornishsue I think the same thing, is it too early to go to bed, went to bed Sat & Sun at 9pm, as you can snuggle under the duvet and forget, or try to.

Yes CrazyH keep going as you are, gentle push for a little more contact, but as you say, better a little than nothing.

Morning all

That 'Best from the East' has hit! I'm the only one down my way to have cleared my driveway in time I feel so sorry for the birds, foxes, badgers, rabbits & all. Not forgetting the homeless people, I was so grateful to get home last night, after driving through that blizzard, but then had to take my little doggie out in the snow, otherwise she won't settle for the night. So lovely to snuggle under the duvet, with a hot drink & my book that Luckylegs recommend.

The book is all about a missing young girl, last anyone heard was when she married a gypsy. I have watched the programme 'Gypsy weddings' and the bride is always crying so much, as if they are travelling gypsy's, then the young bride will only see her family again at big gypsy gatherings. The girl in the book hasn't been seen for 7yrs! When the private detective asked all her family 'weren't they worried at not seeing her all this time', they all say No, she got married didn't she

My working life took me into contact with many families from the travelling community. I didn't meet any where the bride only saw her family at 'big gypsy weddings'. As with all communities, there are good and bad, kind and cruel, oppressive and freedom loving.
The housed travelling communities would share a trailer so that they could travel in the summer months to meet up with extended families at various fairs.
I'm not painting a romanticised image of travelling people. Their lives are often hard, particularly as their traditional way of life is increasingly difficult. I did meet many loving, caring and supportive families. The older members of the families recognised their children need to attend school, that trying to live without literacy and numeracy skills made life almost impossible.
I'm not looking for a disagreement, but do feel its important to try to avoid too many stereotypes when discussing any community. The same applies to those of us who are estranged from adult children. It's all too easy to insist there are two sides to every story, which of course there are but it doesn't mean that all estranged parents have abused or ill treated their now adult children.