Driving at speed.

I can't make suggestions of what to do.
I'm just very aware of other drivers that could be caught in the fallout if he caused or had an accident.It would be someone's son,father,daughter, grandkids.just going about their daily business.And the may be killed or have life changing injuries.How would he cope with that knowledge?

I feel exactly the same with one of my sons driving. He is a good driver but lives in Newcastle, there is so much traffic and you have to keep changing lanes to get to where you want to go. It totally spoils any pleasure in going out.

I try to look out of the window to the side, and/or shut my eyes. I have also tried taking rescue remedy before getting in the car.

Luckily he is a saint and is able to joke about it most of the time, although I am aware that it annoys him if I let out an involuntary jerk of fright! If we go out of town I try to find a slower “scenic” route which I ask him to use.

In all honesty in today’s traffic it seems you have to drive that way, and modern cars have better braking and anti skid systems, but I would rather go by bus and take twice as long!

The local free course for older drivers is a good idea as we get careless maybe when it is a long time since the test. Also the Institute of Advanced Motorists will give you a one hour assessment and advice session by one of the instructors who trains people for the advanced motorist test. it's perhaps worth having a 'top-up' like this., Why not challenge any speedy husbands to do it? ;)

I did the training for the test but then tried it twice and wasn't able to pass! It is quite difficult as you need to commentate on what you are doing. I did improve a lot though and have also done the one hour advice thing twice since at 3 year intervals. They did offer to coach me for the test last time but I find it tiring now. I want to be safe as I drive my grandkids and some of that is motorway. Another thing is obviously regular eye tests.

Fuel consumption is one thing that can slow some men down a bit. Newer cars show average consumption and it’s noticeable that it increases above 60 mph and even more above 70. My OH is convinced that using cruise control also makes driving more economical.

I also have this problem with DH driving. In fact when we are on a road where the max speed changes I frequently have to say 'It's 40 now, or did you see the speed sign just now?' Or ' you are going to have a speeding fine on the mat in a few days time because you are constantly over the limit.' He always replies that he saw it, and was just letting the car slow down on it's own, or some other excuse. I find it makes the journeys uncomfortable as I'm constantly pointing things out to him. He complains bitterly that I'm a terrible passenger and I make him on edge, but I don't think his reactions are quick enough. I used to read on long journeys, but now I dare not take my eyes off the road. He has not had an eye test for over 20yrs either, so that could be a contributing factor.
He had a positive assessment a few years ago after he recovered from a stroke, but I honestly think his standard of driving has become almost unsafe some days. I think he has trouble concentrating on an odd day, as I've noticed when watching tv he has to keep asking me what just happened. Admittedly the only accidents he's had have been someone else's fault.
I drive a small car and often suggest we take mine for a day out but he always makes an excuse of needing to fill his up on the way, or that his needs a good run.
It's a worry I admit, but like the other posters on here, it's difficult to criticise without having a row!

I had to do a speed awareness course as I got caught..36 in a 30 limit. It was a good course though, and I can honestly say it changed the way I drive. Not perfect, but improving! Also had a lesson last year which was helpful and reassuring, especially as it was someone local, well aware of hazards specific to our locality. All worthwhile.

I went on a speed awareness course too, having been clocked driving at 37 mph coming into town and passing the 30 mph limit at this speed. I am normally a careful driver with no warnings or points on my licence after 50 years.
I will never forget being shown by the police trainers the difference it would make having a collision in a built up area at the higher speed and especially the increased chances of causing life changing injuries to a pedestrian.

Since then my partner and I have both accepted the opportunity to attend a day's free driving skills course run by the police in our area for older drivers - half day theory, half day practice, funded in Wales by the EU. It was really helpful and reassuring, and built our confidence. Perhaps you could ask your local transport police if there is anything similar in your area for you both. Their attitude was, if we prevent one accident as a result, it will have covered the costs of running the course.
Good luck!

"When we go out together it is always in DH’s car" So don't always go in DH's car? Sorted.

I have a friend who drives like Looby's husband. He is over 90 and I am never quite sure he s going to stop at a T junction in time. It is nerve wracking and a real white knuckle ride even for a short distance. I just say we will use my car as I am such a nervous passenger. As he is not my husband I can't say as much as I should!

I’m the same sometimes with my wife driving lifting my foot to press on the imaginary brake pedal.

We’ve since learned the Smith System that describes the five things drivers must always do to drive safely.

www.quora.com/In-the-Smith-System-what-are-the-five-keys-to-safe-driving

Driving slowly is not one of them.

His angina is normally very well controlled by medication. But good point. Thank you, loopy loo.

Yes, this personality change behind the wheel is bizarre.
DH is another one who gives almost a running commentary on other drivers' bad driving.
I actually think he has got worse since he started watching Formula One!

I never drive his car. I am seriously suggesting we take my car when we go on holiday, then if he does not seem well, or I just want to pop out on my own, I can do so. He can drive my car, but finds it less comfortable. Also it does not have Satnav, but if we need it we can use the phone map.

Satnav is distracting, yet another thing to take your eyes off the road. I do admit it can be useful, but I am quite capable of planning my route normally.
Recently we visited a NT place by following the brown signs, but it came into its own when we left by a different exit as we had not got a clue which way to turn when we came to the next unmarked junction.
I digress.
My point was that it is sometimes hard to keep checking your speed, it takes your eyes off the road. No excuse though.

Also he has angina! So may have a sudden heart attack? Btw, do you drive?

I would be very careful about this over confidence. My brother was like that and was eventually diagnosed with dementia.. I just hope your husband gets speeding fines rather than having a bad accident and is eventually persuaded to take more care.

I too sometimes annoy my DH by over-reacting when he’s driving. It’s difficult not to react as a passenger. If I’m driving, he goes very tense and often closes his eyes! We’re both careful drivers really. The thing that he does that always annoys me, though, is constantly complaining about other drivers’ behaviour. I tell him not be a Victor Meldrew!

I always think it’s strange that drivers feel their pride is dented if they are overtaken or if others try to push in in a traffic queue. Then the same people walk around a shopping area where they will hold doors open for others, not even think about who is walking faster or slower than them and are considerate to older or disabled people.

Being behind the wheel seems to change us into being competitive rather than our usual co-operative behaviour. Weird.

Hellsgrandad - I endorse everything you say.

When did it simp0ly become OK to drive too fast? - because that seems to be the view of many people now.

You would be incarcerated if you went around waving a loaded gun - a car is not different. It has potential to kill if used unwisely.

I hasten to add-yes im talking about motorway driving,my sons are good drivers,normal roads are fine,but motorways do seem to bring out the worst in people-you see a lot of people not indicating who just 'slide'across lanes-or roundabouts in general,(which also annoys my son,as hes a good observer of letting others know) a lot of drivers brake at last minute-which makes others have to do same,so i guess we cant entirely blame our 'chauffeur'!

Exceeding a speed limit on a otherwise empty motor way is not recommended. I recall reading of an accident where a driver had life threatening injuries in an accident where he had skidded on 'black ice' and went into a ditch Investigation showed he was driving at eighty in a fifty mile limit. No other vehicles had been involved as it was shown on camera that the unfortunate driver was the only one on that particular section at that time.

Contrary to popular belief, just because the road is clear is not a reason to speed. The maximum speed is still valid and rightly so. It maintains a distance between vehicles.

Those of us that remember when there wasn't a national speed limit will be aware of the groups of vehicles travelling at high speed. When you speed just because the road is clear, a similar thing happens when you catch up with the traffic and once again, large groups of vehicles travel along at high speed. One driver loses control for whatever reason and carnage.

I'm not a slow driver but I try not to speed. I used to drive fairly regularly, a distance of 120 miles using the M25 and one other motorway and trunk road. My top speed was generally 80 mph. One day there were high winds so my maximum speed during that journey was 60 mph. The journey took 10 minutes longer than usual so I now keep within limits. Much pleasanter drive!

bikergran you've claimed the title I thought was mine.
I know I'm a poor passenger. That doesn't meant that DH indicates enough. I have no problem with the speed he drives at, but I do wish he would indicate more than he does.

My husband got like this the last couple of years he was driving . It was an absolute nightmare...I would grip the edges of the seat in total fear( I can’t drive ). He wouldn’t take any notice of anything I said ...he used to say that the engine needed to be ‘opened up’ occassionally. I would only get in the car with him when I was having to see my mum who lived 50 miles away...and take her shopping in for her ... otherwise I would go by bus or taxi , and told him the reason why!!! He didn’t like it but I didn’t care!! When mum died I never stepped back into the car with him and he kept coming home with little bumps and scratches all over it, I pointed this out and he screamed at me that people kept clipping him. He eventually saw sense and gave up driving ( his peripheral vision was deteriorating). It’s been a double edged sword because now he won’t go out of the house on foot. He gets taxis to hospital appointments and stuff like that but otherwise he’s a recluse!

How strange Cabbie 21, I could have been the author of your letter, apart from the angina attack part.
I don't know the answer, I have said the bit about being frightened and not feeling safe, to no effect. The only thing that seems to work is praising how many more miles he can get out of a tank of fuel than I can when he drives steadily. He is normally a gentle and very kind person.

Thank you,that was a lovely typo.It did me good,it made me chuckle.

I have absolutely no time for speeding drivers OR those who think their driving is so marvellous that they can brake at the last minute etc.
A clear road ahead doesn't mean that it's ok to break the limit. Your H must be delusional to think he's above the law.
Disgusting.

Sorry Cabbie but people like your DH make me really angry. The sooner he gets banned from driving the better for everyone else. I know that sounds harsh but if he kills someone he will have a long time in prison to reflect one what a marvellous driver he thinks he is.