Childhood sibling rivalry

radicalnan

The reason I chose to have only one child is I didn't want my son to suffer like I did with a spoiled younger sibling. My husband had 5 spoiled siblings and felt the same way.

I think I was one of the lucky ones. I have two older brothers. Sometimes I loved them, sometimes I didn't. They teased and bullied me on occasions but that taught me to stand up for myself as a consequence. In turn each one of us was sent off to boarding school aged about 12. My parents always had one at home as the eldest left school when it was my turn to go. We all lived at home after leaving school until the oldest married aged 27. We adored our parents, and have maintained close relationships with each other though we have scattered geographically over the years. We are now all in our 70s and remain close as do all our children. A great family to be part of.

mumofmadboys
Yes such a shame. Waste of her life. Through choice she never had children. Then regretted it. No husband, again through choice.
She had three wonderful nephews in my sons. All of us despised by her.

Greengage I could have written your post! We are very lucky!

catterygirl, surely a much less drastic solution lay in yours and your DHs hands, have a second child, but treat them both equally.

The root of sibling rivalry is either preferential treatment by parents or the encouragement of competititon between siblings, also by parents. There will be the occasional exception, but it is only occasional.

I do know families where sibling rivalry has almost destroyed it. Read GN to find more, but in most families siblings get on well and are a loving support to each other.

I entirely blame my parents for my dislike of my younger sister when we were children. There was a 5 years age gap and I wasn’t allowed to do anything without taking her along . My mum even had the cheek to refuse me a sleepover at my friends house unless the sister could come too . I can’t imagine what my friends mum must’ve thought .

These days we get on quite well although we are very different .

My sister asked me to go to her school reunion with her, as she was a bit nervous.
When we got there her friends said "Oh, see you're still having to drag HER (me) along with you!"

I have 4 sisters but no brothers. 3 of my sisters are older than me and when I was a child they mothered and fussed over me. I can clearly recall I was 4 1/2 when my youngest sister was born and when we were told it was a girl so we had another sister my eldest 2 sisters who were 16 and 15 announcing good we won't have to deal with a spoilt brother. I remember innocently thinking why would a brother be spoilt? Now both of our parents have sadly died and although all 5 sisters live in different areas of the country we remain very close. They are such a blessing to me.

My Dad remaried after my Mum died, then he and my step mum had my half sister -5 years between us. She got to know that if she did something naughty I would get the blame. I felt she always got her own way. I left home when she was 13 and we chat now and again. Sad really but she lives abroad now so cant see us becoming close.